8 Handy Tricks Women Can Use To Beat Trans Athletes

The Bee ^ | April26, 2024 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

It's the dawn of a new era in women's athletics, as they are now open to dudes! While the playing field may seem tilted unfairly, there are some foolproof tactics women can use to make things more even.

The Babylon Bee is here to help female athletes gain an advantage with the following list of useful tricks:

1. Punch them in the Adam's apple: If he can't breathe, he can't physically dominate you.

2. Throw them off their game by saying J.K. Rowling is your favorite author: It may make them angry, but they'll become so unhinged that they'll lose focus.

3. Hold up a copy of a Biology 101 textbook: They'll hiss and recoil in terror, giving you the upper hand.

4. Misquote lines from The Lord of the Rings: No man will be able to resist correcting you.

5. Distract them with a pan of sizzling bacon: It's the Kryptonite of every man.

6. Pull their beard hair: You have no idea how much that hurts.

7. Start playing Tombstone on the Jumbotron: The movie has a naturally hypnotic effect on men.

8. Kick them in the nuts: Game over.

[lepton]

Being short and being bendy are also critical in women’s gymnastics.

[Navy Patriot]

...women make good marks, uh, persons. They tend to have better fine motor skills than men, for the most part.

Men also sometimes bring the wrong attitude.

I can confirm those observations from many hours at the range.