DUmmie FUnnies 01-10-08 ("Why did Kerry stab Edwards in the back?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 10, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Welsh Rabbit]

There's no love lost between them. Lurch's choice of Silky Pony was just a misguided attempt to get Southern votes. Not being popular in the South, he tried JFK's strategy of picking a Southern running mate (instead of recognizing that his regional identity was one of the least of his problems in attracting red state voters). However, one-termer Edwards wasn't liked much in the South either and was certainly no LBJ (who had a long and successful Congressional career and was genuinely admired by many voters).

Actually, Prince John the Gaunt wasn't really popular with anyone. His nomination was a result of reluctant compromise among Democrat primary voters who figured their favorite candidate had even less of a chance than Lurch. He was never anyone's first choice. A vast majority of votes for Kerry were really for "ABB". So his endorsement doesn't help much one way or the other.

[Laurita]

This is so great! By the time the Rats finally get someone into the general election, they’re going to be so insane from the primaries, they might even forget to vote. On the other hand, I wish I was keeping a tally sheet of all the horrible, nasty things they’ve all said about each other and the candidates so it can go up in flashing bright lights in Times Square next New Years just to put a little rice in their knickers when they discover we ‘Rethuglicans’ have had a choice between many good men all along and they’ve nothing . . . NOTHING . . . to get behind since Ceasar Slickus Willius.

[Welsh Rabbit]

democrats often endorse. why is it a stab if he wants obama and edwards criticism of kerry last couple years, or edwards wife many comments about kerry, are they a stab in back.... or simply the edwards expressing? thinking you are seeing this awfully slanted.

Wow. These people are political idiots and incredibly stupid.

No, you're approaching the post all wrong. It demonstrates advanced literary technique and is clearly the work of an inventive wordsmith of exceptional talent. You have to read the text similarly to the way you would read Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Joyce's Ulysses. Amazingly though, in a mere 45 words the writer leaves Joyce, Eliot, and Faulkner in the dust and takes stream of consciousness to the next level by transcending the expectation that nonlinear internal monologue will ultimately reveal concrete ideas. By breaking this constraint, we are left with thought at the most pure and basic form, primordial and independent of higher meaning, presenting us with almost endless possibilities of interpretation. Personally, I think it is an innovative example of anti-globalization literature, using the Kerry endorsement to represent the interdependent relationship between the formerly colonized (Obama) and the former colonizer (Kerry) in a post-colonial world that continues exploit and oppress the common man (Edwards). Consistent with this criticism of global corporatism, the author's refusal to capitalize letters makes a bold political statement.

j/k

[Cheburashka]

Hey, where’s the little beaver guy on the street corner puffing on a stogie?

---

PJ gave him the night off, so Little Beaver is in a casino playing the slots.

If the casino has a No Smoking policy the stogie is sitting at home, crying.

[Cheburashka]

No, you’re approaching the post all wrong. It demonstrates advanced literary technique and is clearly the work of an inventive wordsmith of exceptional talent. You have to read the text similarly to the way you would read Molly Bloom’s soliloquy in Joyce’s Ulysses. Amazingly though, in a mere 45 words the writer leaves Joyce, Eliot, and Faulkner in the dust and takes stream of consciousness to the next level by transcending the expectation that nonlinear internal monologue will ultimately reveal concrete ideas. By breaking this constraint, we are left with thought at the most pure and basic form, primordial and independent of higher meaning, presenting us with almost endless possibilities of interpretation. Personally, I think it is an innovative example of anti-globalization literature, using the Kerry endorsement to represent the interdependent relationship between the formerly colonized (Obama) and the former colonizer (Kerry) in a post-colonial world that continues exploit and oppress the common man (Edwards). Consistent with this criticism of global corporatism, the author’s refusal to capitalize letters makes a bold political statement.

---

You were an English major, weren’t you.

[dirtbiker]

No, you're approaching the post all wrong. It demonstrates advanced literary technique and is clearly the work of an inventive wordsmith of exceptional talent. You have to read the text similarly to the way you would read Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Joyce's Ulysses. Amazingly though, in a mere 45 words the writer leaves Joyce, Eliot, and Faulkner in the dust and takes stream of consciousness to the next level by transcending the expectation that nonlinear internal monologue will ultimately reveal concrete ideas. By breaking this constraint, we are left with thought at the most pure and basic form, primordial and independent of higher meaning, presenting us with almost endless possibilities of interpretation. Personally, I think it is an innovative example of anti-globalization literature, using the Kerry endorsement to represent the interdependent relationship between the formerly colonized (Obama) and the former colonizer (Kerry) in a post-colonial world that continues exploit and oppress the common man (Edwards). Consistent with this criticism of global corporatism, the author's refusal to capitalize letters makes a bold political statement.

IOW, the condensed version would read: "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull$hit...."

(Who says you never learned anything in college....)

[Paul Heinzman]

More like a 9 iron up the butt.

[Somewhere out there, Ben Burch is smiling.]

Benburch knows good wood.

[Paul Heinzman]

Why couldn't Kerry have waited to endorse Obama in a state where he had done well and was still thougth well of??

The state of confusion doesn't have a primary.

[Paul Heinzman]

I think he was uncomfortable running with him but bit his pride for political reasons.

Ouch! Better put some ice on that.

[Paul Heinzman]

I don't know how other primary seasons have gone over at the DUmp, but the DUmmies are in complete meltdown. Longtime DUmmie progressivebydesign posted a GBCW thread that would've done Pitt proud and the feeding frenzy that ensued was, well, as Spock would say, fascinating.

Even the name of The Sight That Must Never Be Mentioned came up, one DUmmie claiming that a fellow primative that climbed to mod status on CU told her that PBD was a longtime CU troll working deep cover.

This is only going to get wackier; I can't wait to see what happens in South Carolina.

[imskylark]

” THE AMERICAN PEOPLE NEED TO WISE UP FAST THAT THE FIX IS IN FOR OBAMA BY THE POWER ESTABLISHMENT”

Wait a minute, I thought the fix was in for Hillary.

[MortMan]

Why did Kerry stab Edwards in the back?

Because Edwards' mistress is better looking than Kerry's?

[kevkrom]

You know, it’s nice to see the DUmmies finally realize the (lack of) character of the man they would have made President just three years ago.

[kevkrom]

More like a 9 iron up the butt.

[Somewhere out there, Ben Burch is smiling.]

Hey! Leave the benburch jokes for us amateurs!

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

"Little Beaver is in a casino playing the slots."

There's a joke in there, somewhere.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

May I propose a fix?

"Because Edwards' mistress boytoy is better looking than Kerry's?"

[Congressman Billybob]

Ah, but don't you see that DUmmies are flexible. It's only now, and yesterday, that the "fix was in" for Obama and Hillary. No matter who wins the Democrat nomination -- assuming that it isn't Kucinich -- the fix will be in. And then, in the general election, the fix will be in again.

The motto of DU is The Fix Is Always In.

Congressman Billybob

Latest article, "Brittany, Hillary, and Redemption"

A Freeper in Congress? Please act now.

[MortMan]

I’m sorry, but I can’t accept your proposal. I’m already married! ;-P

[OSHA]

No, you're approaching the post all wrong. It demonstrates advanced literary technique and is clearly the work of an inventive wordsmith of exceptional talent. You have to read the text similarly to the way you would read Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Joyce's Ulysses. Amazingly though, in a mere 45 words the writer leaves Joyce, Eliot, and Faulkner in the dust and takes stream of consciousness to the next level by transcending the expectation that nonlinear internal monologue will ultimately reveal concrete ideas. By breaking this constraint, we are left with thought at the most pure and basic form, primordial and independent of higher meaning, presenting us with almost endless possibilities of interpretation. Personally, I think it is an innovative example of anti-globalization literature, using the Kerry endorsement to represent the interdependent relationship between the formerly colonized (Obama) and the former colonizer (Kerry) in a post-colonial world that continues exploit and oppress the common man (Edwards). Consistent with this criticism of global corporatism, the author's refusal to capitalize letters makes a bold political statement.

Wow! That's good. I'd love to hear your thoughts as to the perplexing reemergence of the Mad Hatter and March Hare as the Anglo Saxon messengers.

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Good work, PJ.