Posted on 11/05/2008 2:30:11 PM PST by ThreeYearLurker
How many members of the Obama household does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. The room is illuminated by the light of Barack's halo.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Obama.
Obama who?
"Sweethome" Al Obama
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How many members of the Obama household does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Barack holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
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Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Barack
Barack who?
If this place is barackin' don't come a knockin'
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Now an unfunny one!
How many members of the Obama household does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. President Obama outlawed incandecent lightbulbs in 2009, and now we have a CF lightbulb that costs $10 and gives out funky lightwaves that makes my house look like K-mart.
Very cute!
...................so then Obama says, “For a nickel I will”
Thank you for the jokes.
This is the first time I have smiled today.
Somehow, with the help of FReepers, I will get thru 4 years.
Just one day at a time.
I heard they are gonna turn the rose garden into a watermelon patch.
Barack Obama was walking down the street when he saw a little boy giving away pupies. Obama asked the boy what kind of puppies they were. The little boy said they were Democrat puppies. Never shying away from a photo op, Obama came by the next day with an army of reporters and video cams. He asked the little boy to tell Mr Blitzer what kind of puppies they were. The little boy said they were Republican puppies. Obama was very surprised. He asked the little boy why they weren’t Deomcrat puppies any more. The little boy said, “That was yesterday, today they opened their eyes.”
Here’s something unfunnier. Modern CF bulbs put out a nice steady warm light, and they only cost about $2 when bought in packs of four.
Does Obama celebrate Christmas?
Nothing funny at all. We are in for the fight of our lives...
Anyway...my joke about this animal would lead to my banishment
from FR.
Obama and the Dems may mess up things so bad that it's not hard to imagine it reaching the point of almost being amusing. As the old saying goes, the Dems often become a circular firing squad.
Priest's last request
An old priest who for years had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital, lay dying in the hospital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
'Yes, Father?' said the nurse.
'I would really like to see Barack Obama and Joe Biden before I die,' he whispered.
'I'll see what I can do, Father,' replied the nurse, and she respectfully forwarded the request to the DNC and waited for a response.
Surprisingly, soon the word arrived. Obama and Biden would be delighted to visit the priest. <
As they made their way to the hospital, Obama commented to Biden, 'I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but the media coverage will certainly help our images.'
Biden couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Biden's hand in his right hand and Obama's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the ancient cleric's face.
Finally Biden spoke, 'Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?'
Taking a deep breath, the old priest painfully replied, 'I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior.'
'Amen,' said Obama.
'Amen,' said Biden.
The old priest continued, 'He died between two lying thieves and I would like to do the same..'
Critics say that Presidential candidate Barack Obama tries to "be all things to all people" and that he makes too many "pie-in-the-sky" promises. At a recent political rally, Obama tried to overcome these criticisms by emphasizing his commitment to principles. Afterwards, audience members lined up at a microphone to ask Obama questions.
The first person at the microphone said, "I oppose the war in Iraq. If you are elected, what will you do about that?"
"I will end the war in Iraq within two weeks of taking office," answered Obama. "All our troops will come home, and I will simultaneously make sure the Iraqi government is functioning and secure."
The second person in line said, "I'm an illegal alien. What will you do for people like me?"
"If I am elected," answered Obama, "every illegal alien will receive U.S. citizenship, free health coverage, and a scholarship to the university of your choice."
The third person in line said, "I'm a conservative. If elected, what will you do for me?"
"I'll send that first guy to Iraq, and the second guy back to Mexico."
Bundles of promises from a guy who has never accomplished anything. In my experience, people like this usually fail to deliver.
He is a joke.
Never did anything, either, as far as we can tell. Didn't show up for the jobs listed on his resume but the info on those experiences is all locked up so no one can see. Some claim he did leaves of absence and wrote books, good way of making extra dough if you can get away with it. How come he got away with it? I know I wouldn't.
SIGNS SOMEONE IS AN OBAMA SUPPORTER
* Blank stare.
* Unable to communicate complex thoughts.
* Fits of excitement followed by bouts of depression with no noticeable causes.
* Easily distracted by anything that is shiny or new.
* Defines political beliefs with vague, trite phrases.
* Irrational risk taking with finances.
* Submissive urination.
* Stupidity.
* Hates crackers.
If you realize someone is an Obama supporter, make sure to give him or her a new, shiny red ball to play with on election day. The person may be so distracted by the ball, he'll forget to vote, or become so enamored with the ball that'll he'll vote for the ball instead as a write-in.
What? Are you expected to be physically present on your job? Do you actually have to substantiate and document your experiences to be considered for another job? Do you have to produce anything of value while you're at work? You must not be special. /sarc
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