Skip to comments.ACLU Praises Breach of "Attorney Client Privilege" [semi-satire]
Posted on 04/14/2018 12:29:59 AM PDT by John Semmens
This week in an unprecedented move, Special Counsel Robert Mueller engineered a raid on President Trump's long-time lawyer Michael Cohen that seized all of his files and documents. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) lauded this piercing of the President's and Cohen Fourth and Fifth Amendment rights against unreasonable searches and denial of due process, calling them "warranted exceptions."
As ACLU spokesman Bertram Petty explained "the Bill of Rights is intended to protect innocent people from tyrannical abuses. In this case, everyone agrees that Trump and his associates are 'bad hombres' and as such, not entitled to any rights that might impede prosecution for their misdeeds."
"When a knowledgeable person like former FBI Director James Comey characterizes Trump as akin to a 'mob boss' that is all the 'probable cause' needed to justify the seizure of any and all evidence that might prove his or his goons' guilt," Petty contended. "The early leaks of the content of some of the documents seized indicates that Cohen has acted on numerous occasions to payoff persons blackmailing his clients. For example, Cohen negotiated a payment of $1.6 million to a former Playboy model who who claimed she was impregnated by Republican National Committee deputy finance chairman Elliott Broidy. While paying off blackmailers is not per se illegal we think that this information has political value and that denying the general public and the Democratic Party access to such information is unfair and potentially a violation of campaign finance statutes."
Petty argued that "the FBI's assurance that the violation of the Fourth Amendment is for good cause and its promise that the Agency will adhere to its own procedural standards before leaking any of the information extracted from Mr. Cohen's confidential files ought to be sufficient justification for this unusual and extraordinary action. We must be flexible in our interpretation of the Constitution. Rigid conformity to a simplistic principle ought not to block the pursuit of a broader concept of justice."
In related news, FBI Deputy Director Rod Rosenstein explained the Agency's forecast that it would be at least three years before it releases the anti-Thump communications between agent Peter Strzok and FBI lawyer Lisa Page because "we need to be sure that the statute of limitations for all the criminal acts of these two employees have expired. This is the Agency's normal procedure for guarding FBI staff from legal liability that could affect their pensions and/or their freedom."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
I really liked the last paragraph.
Just remember that at any time, any one of us could be “not entitled to any rights”.
NEW YORKAt a press conference Monday, American Civil Liberties Union officials announced that the organization will go to court to defend a neo-Nazi group’s right to burn down ACLU headquarters.
Above: ACLU lawyers Nancy Edelman and Harvey Gross talk to reporters about their fight to allow Nazis to burn down ACLU headquarters on Nov. 25.
ACLU president Nadine Strossen told reporters that her organization intends to “vigorously and passionately defend” the Georgia chapter of the American Nazi Party’s First Amendment right to freely express its hatred of the ACLU by setting its New York office ablaze on Nov. 25.
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