Posted on 05/20/2018 12:03:22 PM PDT by John Semmens
Democrat Abdul al-Sayed, Michigan’s first-ever Muslim candidate for governor, may face an uphill struggle in in this year’s election. Political analysts suspect that his campaign slogan: “You may not hate Muslims, but Muslims definitely hate you!” may be too negative to win a majority of votes.
“Granted, Michigan has the highest percentage of Muslim voters in the country,” said Democratic Party pollster Vern Spielman, “but even if they go 100% for Sayed I don’t think that overcomes the odds that the 97% of voters who are not Muslims will vote for someone less hostile toward them.”
Sayed called objections to his slogan “a violation of my constitutional right to the free exercise of my religion. Islam calls on believers to fight for Allah and spread the joys of submission to the whole world. We aren’t cowardly Christians whose god bids them to turn the other cheek. We gladly smite that cheek and demand that unbelievers convert or acquiesce in their subservient role under Islam lest we be compelled to slay them.”
“There’s no doubt that Sayed is passionate and honest about his views and policies,” Spielman acknowledged. “But these virtues are best kept hidden until after one is elected. The non-Muslims who will be paying Sayed’s proposed jizya tax shouldn’t be warned in advance if he wants to get their votes.”
The candidate disagreed with Spielman’s advice and pointed out that “when I’m governor each person who converts to Islam will get a 100% tax reduction. No other candidate has made such a generous offer of tax relief. I am confident that the personal monetary benefits for converts under my program will propel me to victory when the ballots are cast and counted.”
Meanwhile in Minnesota, an investigation has revealed that Somalian refugees are scamming the state’s generous welfare benefits and sending suitcases full of cash back home. In the past year an estimated $100 million has made this journey. Government welfare bureaucrats say “our hands are tied. The law entitles refugees to claim benefits and we have no control over how this money is spent after we give it to them. In fact, it could be said that the investigation exposing the transfer of this money out of the country is an invasion of the recipients’ privacy and unnecessarily upsetting to taxpayers who previously were blissfully ignorant of the whole scheme.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2018/05/19/operation-crossfire-hurricane-exposed/
.....not the brightest camel in the herd....
“I keel you.”
“This year’s democratic candidates will BLOW YOU AWAY!”
To the extent this Muslim adheres to and would demand Sharia Law, his election as Governor would be illegal and unconstitutional because the Constitution demands that every state have a “republican form of government” (Art. IV, Sec 4).
Sharia Law is a dictatorial, abusive law that has NO PLACE in the USA! Period!
“You may not hate Muslims, but Muslims definitely hate you!”
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This is Islamic doctrine.
It is haram (forbidden) for muslims to befriend infidels.
They are REQUIRED to hate you.
Half the fun of these postys is figuring out which part is verbatim, and which part is just fleshing out the crazy part. I did a quick check, and the verbatim quotation is “You may not hate Muslims, but Muslims definitely hate you!”
It was directed at his “Republican opponent” Brian Calley. Could you imagine the uproar if any Republican said the same thing to any Dem, substituting Christian, Hindu, Sikh or Jew for Muslim?
This state is marked with an X (do not enter) on my map of the USA along with Obama’s Chicago state (IL). I have no use for Sharpton who failed out of college. He did not make 2 full years when AA was in hi gear. Punk.
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