Rosenstein Tells a Story [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 July 2018 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

This week, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein testified before the House Oversight Committee where he steadfastly continued to refuse to turn over FBI documents to Congress. He attempted to fend off GOP critics by telling them a "hypothetical" story.

"Suppose there is a patriotic public servant who is trying to defend the nation against a dangerous person who is seeking to seize control of the US Government," Rosenstein suggested. "Wouldn't we want that public servant to use whatever means are necessary to achieve this objective? Suppose one of the means chosen was infiltrating informers into the inner circle of this dangerous man? Suppose concocting information that would discredit this man were deployed? Would we really want this public servant to reveal the content of the documents that were used to organize these extraordinary efforts to save the country from this dangerous man? Would we really want to expose the identities of other patriotic public servants who assisted in the effort to save the country? Well, that is precisely what Mr. Nunes, Gowdy, et al are demanding that I do. I must refuse."

Rosenstein went on to characterize his approach as "more merciful than some others in the FBI who pushed for the more permanent solution of simply physically neutralizing the threat. If that view had prevailed I or some other Department of Justice attorney would still be sitting here refusing to turn over documents and name names, but Donald Trump would be dead. Shouldn't the Committee be grateful that my more measured course was able to prevail? At this late date, does the Committee really want to push the FBI to take the simple solution to protect itself? Wouldn't it be better to let the current process for ousting the dangerous man work its way to a more peaceful resolution?"

Thoroughly disgusted, Committee Chairman Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) gave Rosenstein another extension of the deadline by which he is asked to turn over the requested documents and threatened impeachment if the documents aren't delivered. A defiant Rosenstein later told staffers that "we will never yield to this congressional POS," mocked the threatened impeachment as "a pipe dream that they'll never get the two-thirds of the Senate needed to convict," and offered to bet anyone $10,000 that "Trump will be impeached before I am."

Meanwhile, over in the House Judiciary Committee, FBI anti-Trump conspirator Peter Strzok dodged questions related to his text message promising fellow conspirator Lisa Page that "we will stop him" (meaning stop Trump from becoming president), insisting that "it was just one of the many lies I told her to get into her pants" and asserted that "my hatred of Trump played no part in my role as lead investigator of both him and Secretary Clinton." Strzok additionally maintained that "national security prohibits me from disclosing any details about the alleged FBI animus against Mr. Trump or the confidential efforts underway to save America from this monster."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/242805-2018-06-29-semi-news-semi-satire-july-1-2018-edition.htm

[marktwain]

Love it.

Praetorian guard.

[MUDDOG]

mocked the threatened impeachment as "a pipe dream that they'll never get the two-thirds of the Senate needed to convict"

The only way we get rid of Rosenstein is for Trump to fire him.

I think soon after the midterms.

[Sacajaweau]

Frankly, I think Rosenstein blew it. The FBI is not a “self ruled secret organization”.

[enumerated]

I usually don’t read something described as “semi-satire”, but this time I did.

At the risk of looking like I have no sense of humor, can I make a suggestion? In the future, leave out the prefix “semi”.

This was pure satire, correct? All the word semi does is confuse the issue.

Just say satire - otherwise you’ll have some gullible people thinking Rosenstien actually said that stuff.