Posted on 07/14/2018 12:51:21 PM PDT by John Semmens
Peter Strzok, the FBI agent at the center of the the agency’s conspiracy to torpedo the Trump presidential campaign and the back-up plan to reverse the election outcome, told members of the joint hearing of the House Judiciary Committee and House Oversight and Government Reform Committees “I wasn’t being biased. I was being patriotic.”
“Anyone who has carefully read my text messages to Lisa Page cannot refute the clear evidence that Trump is an idiot that poses a severe threat to the safety and happiness of the people of America,” Styrzok maintained. “The stream of derogatory commentary I provided to Ms. Page ought to persuade every sane reader that keeping this man from wrecking the world was of utmost importance. My only regret is that my efforts have not yet achieved the desired effect.”
Strzok went on to further defend his actions by citing “the acquiescence of my superiors at the highest level that gave me the courage to embark on this unconventional journey. Director Comey used my replacement of his original ‘gross negligence’ with ‘extraordinarily careless’ to allow Hillary Clinton to be absolved of culpability. My immediate supervisor Andy McCabe presided over numerous anti-Trump strategy meetings attended by Ms. Page and myself. The support of these American patriots assured me that I was doing the right thing.”
These remarks elicited a standing ovation from House Democrats participating in the hearing. Rep. Steve Cohen (Tenn) even went so far as to recommend that Strzok “be awarded the Purple Heart for the insults and badgering heaped upon you by the brain-dead Republicans on these committees. Their ingratitude for your heroism is appalling. What you have faced was worse than any bullets or bombs our soldiers have had to face.”
Obama’s former CIA Director and current MSNBC commentator John Brennan concurred with Cohen’s sentiments and asserted that “the wounds inflicted on Strzok’s reputation by malicious Republicans are more hurtful than any battlefield wounds. Wounded soldiers bask in respect and honor. Even those who don’t survive know that their sacrifice is appreciated. But Mr. Strzok is denied even that as they blacken his name. He doesn’t deserve this.”
Republicans were less impressed. Rep. Louie Gohmert (Tex) pointed out that “at the time Mr. Strzok was supposedly investigating Sec. Clinton’s email violations the Intelligence Community Inspector General (ICIG) told him that 30,000 emails had been sent to an unauthorized foreign recipient. I would think that a patriotic FBI agent would’ve wanted to follow up on such information, but Strzok admits he did nothing.”
“Agents have to prioritize how they use their limited time and resources,” Strzok later explained. “Unbeknownst to the ICIG, President Obama had by that time indicated to us that Trump was the real threat. I wasn’t the only one who ignored the ICIG. DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz failed to return four phone calls on the matter. At least I took a meeting with them.”
On a broader and more philosophical note, Strzok warned that “these Congressional probes into the inner workings of the intelligence community threaten the foundations of law and order. To be effective, the covert actions of agencies like the FBI and CIA must remain covert. An agent shouldn’t have to fear that his honest efforts to protect national security will be exposed by political know-nothings. We rigorously screen the people who become agents. We need to trust them to do the right thing without second-guessing the choices they make.”
Shockingly, CNN political director David Chalian called Strzok’s rationalizations “unbelievable. His texts to Lisa Page reveal an extraordinary level of bias and animus toward Trump. This casts a pall of doubt over his ability to carry out an impartial investigation. A man of integrity would’ve recused himself.” Speculation as to whether Chalian will be fired, commit suicide, or suffer an unfortunate fatal accident has inspired Las Vegas to set up a betting line for gamblers to wager on their favorite outcome.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2018/07/14/strzok-claims-undermining-trump-patriotic-duty/
And as soon as Hillary gets into the Oval Office, she will confer the Congressional Medal of Honor on Strzok.
ROTFLOL.
It’s a crazy age.
I think we have to admit up front: Donald Trump isn’t always easy to take. He rubs some people the wrong way. I’ve seen a person wish that Donald Trump does well and still execrate his manner.
But who’s perfect on this mortal coil. Donald Trump didn’t come to this post to ingratiate us. He came to wrench America back into sanity as much as he could. He could be worse. Much much worse. But he is not. He is the red pill concentrate, the brussels sprouts that we must eat to become strong.
Satire sums up the true feelings just right. Another fine column, John.
Lord of the SPIES!!!
Peter Strzok was a CIA section chief in Jan 2016.
https://brassballs.blog/home/strzok-worked-for-cia-and-fbi-at-the-same-time-in-counterespionage
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