Skip to comments.Senator Depressed Over Second Quarter GDP Numbers [semi-satire]
Posted on 07/28/2018 9:22:26 AM PDT by John Semmens
The announcement that the U.S. economy grew by 4.1 percent for the recently completed quarter sent Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) into a fit of nearly suicidal depression. If this keeps up it will reverse all the progress achieved by President Obama, the senator lamented.
During the eight years that Barack Obama was president the GDP averaged an annual growth rate of less than 2 percent and never once reached 3 percent for any of those yearsthe first time that this has happened during any previous administration since the statistic has been tracked.
Booker attributed the disparate economic growth patterns to racism and sexism, pure and simple. The same white bigots who refused to invest when a black man was president have come forward to reward the white man who conspired with the Russians to cheat a woman out of her turn to be the nations ruler.
The possibility that differing economic policies could have played a role in the differing outcomes was rejected by the Senator. A person has to be optimistic about the future in order to invest in businesses that grow the economy, Booker asserted. President Obama was a man that everyone I know was supremely optimistic about. The same cant be said about Trump. Everyone I know hates him and his policies.
I think the problem is that the wrong people are being allowed to make investment decisions, Booker opined. Trump has undone a lot of the regulations that gave the government the final say on how societys limited resources were to be used. If we were to examine the details behind the 4.1 percent growth rate wed find that the wrong products are being produced. So even though unemployment is at historic lows the jobs arent contributing to socially desirable outputs. This is not the direction our country should be going.
The Democrat expressed his confidence that the upcoming elections will show that voters reject the false prosperity engendered by the Trump Administration. When Democrats regain the majority in Congress we will put a stop to it. We will repeal the tax cuts, reimpose the regulations, and impeach the usurper who tried to impede the fundamental transformation President Obama promised would be his legacy.
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass)a projected rival of Bookers for the 2020 Democratic presidential nominationsaid she felt sympathy for his depression, but called his approach to getting the country back on track timid. We can and need to do more than just undo what Trump has done. There was a time in this country when tax rates exceeded 90% of a persons income. So, I think theres a lot more upside to explore on the tax issue. Why should a person who earns a billion dollars be allowed to keep $100 million of it when there are so many poor people who need that money? Even a 99 percent tax rate would still leave that rich person with $10 million, which is far more than he needs to live on. Ultimately, I think we need to move toward a system where the government controls all the money and distributes it based solely on need.
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY)yet another potential 2020 Democratic presidential contendercommended the forward thinking of my colleagues, but the most crucial issue for our Party is the abolition of ICE. Only the total elimination of all barriers to immigration will ensure the future electoral success for Democrats across the nation.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
Insanity. I’m just sayin’
If this keeps up it will reverse all the progress achieved by President Obama,
In other words, we will still be a Democratic Republic
The Most Holy Democrat Obama has been cheerfully pocketing huge speaking fees and big-money contributions to
his Final Resting Place (his Chicago presidential center dedicated to the Sun God).....based on the Halfrican's pigmentation
and Democrat-contrived legends about Obama's leadership prowess.
"He made the sun rise. I saw him do it," said his faithful wife, the "stylish" Michelle.
(NOTE: she's partially right----she saw "something" rise, for sure.)
Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) into a fit of nearly suicidal depression.
Wouldnt be missed much if he succeeded.
"...the nations ruler.
What a maroon baboon!
The amazing thing is that so many of your satires aren’t really satires. They’re just unearthing things that Democrats already think, but we haven’t (yet) heard them say.
Might I suggest he do the Tony Bourdain Rope Dance.
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