Posted on 08/21/2018 8:21:12 AM PDT by John Semmens
In another triumph of progressive politics, the City of San Francisco has announced the formation of an official “Poop Patrol” to scour the streets and remove the mounting piles of human excrement deposited by the homeless inhabitants of the community. The Patrol will start with a staff of six—one supervisor and five workers.
Public works department spokeswoman Rachel Gordon said “we’re not denying the right of the homeless to carry out necessary bodily functions as they see fit. After all, the streets and sidewalks are public spaces open to all. We want the homeless to understand that this is not meant to criticize their life style, but to help mitigate the negative health consequences of letting the stuff pile up to intolerable levels.”
The new Patrol will supplement the existing “Pit Stop” and 311 “Poop Hot Line” programs, which failed to stem the rising tide of human waste infesting the City’s public spaces. “The Pit Stop program provides public toilets in the downtown area, however, we realize that not everyone has the energy or motivation to make their way to these facilities,” Gordon observed. “Likewise, relying on citizens to call in sightings has a negative impact of perceptions of how clean and safe the community is. It’s one thing to ask citizens to phone in crimes-in-progress like they do in Chicago. The caller could save someone’s life or help catch a murderer. It’s embarrassing to ask citizens to report defecations-in-progress. The caller may feel like a prude or peeping Tom.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2018/08/18/senator-introduces-accountable-capitalism-act/
in San Fransicko, it will be a ‘staff of six-— one worker and five stuporvisors”
I think that San Francisco being a Democrat controlled city, it is actually the other way around.
They’d really be “ahead of the curve” if they were to initiate roving mobile poop-wagons. Think of it - you could call and the terlit would come to you!
Now that’s really progressive!
Just wondering - are residents of San Francisco required to clean up after their pets?
https://www.citizencanine.net/5-ordinances-to-remember-when-walking-your-dog-in-san-francisco/
Cleanup
Your dog going to the bathroom is often an unavoidable circumstance while on a walk. Sec. 40 of the health code requires that you remove and dispose properly of any feces produced by your dog. Sec. 40c clarifies this requirement further by stating that you must also always carry some form of container or instrument to remove the feces, even if your dog has not yet gone to the bathroom.
I left my shit in San Francisco.
High on a hill it calls to me....
I’ve noticed the increased influx
of homeless individuals roaming
thru our local Walmart. Dirty hands,
matted hair, foul smelling clothes.
I’ve witnessed them picking up
various food items for inspection.
Mainly fruit or vegetables.
I no longer shop for groceries nor
do I use the drinking fountains or
bathroom facilities at Walmart.
I always like to compare John’s satire with the real story -
as in so many other cases, where’s the satire?
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