Skip to comments.Dems Warn GOP on Kavanaugh Confirmation [semi-satire]
Posted on 09/30/2018 8:43:47 AM PDT by John Semmens
This week, Brian Fallon, former press secretary on Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign, warned Republicans not to confirm Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court, saying "they will pay dearly at the polls for putting a man accused of sexual assault in this high position."
"It's not as if sexual perverts are underrepresented on the Court," Fallon asserted. "They already have Clarence Thomasan accused dirty talkerto protect their interests in cases coming before that august body. Do we really need to add an accused groper?"
Fallon pointed to the absence of proof of Kavanaugh's innocence, calling it "very telling that Judge Kavanaugh cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Dr. Ford's allegations are false. He lived in the general area and during the possible dates where and when the assault took place. The calendar of activities he offers in his defense is not comprehensive. It doesn't account for every minute of his time over the summer of 1982. Further, in as much as Dr. Ford isn't certain the attack didn't occur in 1981 or 1983, there are a wide array of other possible opportunities for sexual assault that cannot be ruled out."
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) concurred in Fallon's analysis and added that "we need to keep in mind that it isn't just one woman who has accused Kavanaugh. Two others have come forward to point the finger at him. How many allegations do we need to hear before we are persuaded of this man's unfitness for office? If Kavanaugh had any decency he would withdraw himself from consideration."
Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) argued that "I can't understand why my Republican colleagues don't comprehend how the rude comments Kavanaugh made about flatulence and barfing in his high school yearbook disqualify him. This kind of immature behavior is not something we should tolerate from a man who aspires to sit on the highest court."
Sen. Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii) contended that "Mr. Kavanaugh's anger over the allegations displayed a temperament inappropriate to what is expected of a Supreme Court Justice. Compare this with the calm demeanor demonstrated by President Obama'a appointees Sotomayor and Kagan during the hearings preceding their confirmations. This country doesn't need one more angry white man in a position of power. Voters can ensure this doesn't happen by electing Democrats to Congress who will put a stop to it."
Meanwhile, Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore) announced he is filing suit to ask a court to bar the Senate from conducting a vote of Kavanaugh's confirmation "until a full record" is available. Asked to clarify what a "full record" entails, the Senator replied "I'll know it when I see it. There are millions of pages of documents that Kavanaugh has touched in his career as a Bush Administration official and appeals court judge. I think it is only fair that the court hold up the confirmation process until these documents are fully reviewed and analyzed."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
Brian Fallon, former press secretary on Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign, warned Republicans not to confirm Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court, saying “they will pay dearly at the polls for putting a man accused of sexual assault in this high position.”
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