Posted on 10/28/2018 10:47:16 AM PDT by John Semmens
With polls showing a close race with her Republican challenger Josh Hawley, Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo) launched a campaign ad aimed at persuading voters that she is “not one of those crazy Democrats. If you look carefully at my record you’ll see that I am a sane Democrat. I haven’t claimed I’m an Indian. I haven’t urged mobs to harass Republicans in public places. And I definitely am not Spartacus.”
“Sure, there’s been a little bit of self-dealing on behalf of my husband, some tax evasion and eviction of a few disabled vets from one of our properties,” the Senator admitted. “But these are the normal, time-tested abuses of office that any long-sitting officeholder might engage in. Most voters have overlooked these peccadilloes as an insufficient reason to oust senators and lose the advantage of the seniority that can help bring more federal aid back to the state.”
A similar pitch was made by Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) in his efforts to fend off a surprisingly competitive Republican adversary Bob Hugin in the deep blue state. New Jersey hasn’t elected a Republican senator since 1972. Nevertheless, the contest between Menendez and Hugin is now rated a tossup.
“I’m a normal Democrat in a long line of Democrats that have represented the state in the US Senate,” Menendez asserts. “First, I have never been convicted of bribery or improper influence peddling. Second, prostitution is legal in the Dominican Republic. Many others, including a former president did the same things my opponent is now trying to single me out for doing. Nothing I did there can fairly be held against me. This is what I want voters to know before they rashly gamble on the inexperienced novice running against me.”
Meanwhile, in the Florida gubernatorial contest, the Democratic candidate, Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum characterized questions about some of the illicit perks he enjoyed as mayor as “racist. They wouldn’t be asking me these questions if I were white. I’m sure that my white predecessors got as much or more than I did, lied about it, and got away with it. The implication that I am somehow uniquely culpable when they were not is a rebirth of the slavery the white man has imposed on black folks for centuries.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2018/10/27/a-few-not-crazy-democrats-appeal-to-voters/
Not crazy dims.. would that be an anomaly?
IOW, Gillum felt "entitled" to bribes due to all the injustices previously suffered. As mayor, he cleaned up. Imagine the take he's expecting if he makes governor.
<><> Then-Mayor Gillum at the Broadway hit “Hamilton” in Aug 2016; pricy tickets paid for by undercover agent Miller posing as a developer needing mayoral favors.
<><> Miller also paid for a “Forward Florida Honors Mayor Andrew Gillum” — a dinner for 40 guests of filet mignon,
twice-baked sweet potatoes, salmon mousse canapes, broccoli and carrots, and southern style strawberry shortcake for $2,800.
<><>The mayor's bar tab was $1,200 for beer, wine and liquor; 20% service charge and sales tax totaled $5,160.
A LOT OF HAND-WASHING GOING ON---The club owner is a lobbyist looking for maoral favors so he gave the party a discount; that brought the balance Miller paid out to $4,386.
I knew this was satire because “not crazy” Demonicrats don’t exist.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.