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I've Seen Schiff's Hearings before: Monty Python And the Wisdom of Crowds
MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-20-19 | MOTUS

Posted on 11/20/2019 6:09:12 AM PST by NOBO2012

I have never been a huge fan of Monty Python but I have grudgingly come to admire the timeless genius of silly sketches conceived nearly 50 years ago that still skewer modern culture as freshly as if they were written yesterday. Or perhaps that says more about modern culture…still subject to the wisdom of crowds after all these millennia.

Either way, look at this week’s ongoing “impeachment investigation” and tell me that Monty Python and the Holy Grail didn’t capture its essence in this scene titled, appropriately enough, “Burn the Witch!” No further explanation seems necessary.

Image result for monty python witch quote

VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?

CROWD: Burn her! Burn!

BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.

BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.

WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.

WITCH: They dressed me up like this.

CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.

WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.

BEDEVERE: Well?

VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.

Image result for monty python witch's nose

BEDEVERE: The nose?

VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!

CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?

CROWD:  No! (no no... no) Yes. (yes yeah) a bit (a bit bit a bit)

VILLAGER #1: But she has got a wart!

BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt. (pause & look around)

BEDEVERE: A newt!?

VILLAGER #3: Well, I got better.

Related image

VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!

Related image

(king walks in)

BEDEVERE: Quiet! quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

CROWD: Are there? What are they?

VILLAGER #2: Do they hurt?

[Pay close attention: here comes the logic…]

BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?

VILLAGER #2: Burn!

Image result for monty python witch burn her

CROWD: Burn ‘em!. Burn them up!

BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?

Image result for monty python witch burn her

VILLAGER #1: More witches! (V2 nudge V1)
(pause)

VILLAGER #2: Wood!

BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood?

BEDEVERE: Good!

CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah.

BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE: Ahh, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.

BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1: No, no.

VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the bog!

CROWD: The bog!

BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1: Cider!

VILLAGER #2: Grape gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!

VILLAGER #2: Mud!

VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

KING: A duck.

[all look and stare at king]

CROWD: Oooh.

BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...

VILLAGER #1: If... she... weighs the same as a duck.. she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE: And therefore?

[pause & think]

VILLAGER #1: A witch!

Image result for monty python witch quote

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch!

BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!

[yelling] [push her into scale]

BEDEVERE: Right, remove the stops!

[whop] [creak] wait while scales remains still

CROWD: A witch! A witch!

Image result for monty python witch burn her

WITCH: It's a fair cop.

CROWD: Burn her! Burn her!

[yelling]

BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

KING: I am Arthur…

BEDEVERE: My liege!

[scene closes]

So, what have we learned? When your facts are wrong, or ignored for the purpose of your argument, you are free to commit all the very best logic fallacies in the world.

Which of course will lead you to a false conclusion, but then, isn’t that the point?  We’ve always known it’s been nothing more than a witch hunt.

If you wish to watch the original version, it’s here:

Posted from: MOTUS A.D.




TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: adamschiff; impeachment; montypython; trump; witchhumt

1 posted on 11/20/2019 6:09:12 AM PST by NOBO2012
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To: NOBO2012

OMG! This is perfect!


2 posted on 11/20/2019 6:18:47 AM PST by freemama
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To: NOBO2012

Brilliant!


3 posted on 11/20/2019 6:42:55 AM PST by Montaignes Cat
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To: NOBO2012

cleaning the coffee up


4 posted on 11/20/2019 6:56:03 AM PST by ping jockey (The only difference between organized crime and D.C. is one is illegal and one isn't)
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To: NOBO2012

Monty Python knew how to do political satire. Their references were the classics.


5 posted on 11/20/2019 7:14:46 AM PST by stanne
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To: NOBO2012

One of the bets movies ever.


6 posted on 11/20/2019 8:50:33 AM PST by Mr. Mohasky (Common sense in a world lacking any, will be perceived & construed as an extreme point of view.)
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To: NOBO2012

Actually it’s more like the fight with the black knight (with Schiff in the role) Starts out as a bad ass where none shall pass, fights Arthur and gets his arm chopped off, and Arthur wins! Arthur claims victory, and Schiff says “’Tis a mere flesh wound” Then Arthur fights him again and cuts his other arm off. Again claims victory and Schiff tells him that he’s had worse, cuts off one leg and still comes after him. Arthur cuts off the last leg and the Schiff as a nub says, “Ok, we’ll call it a draw.” Then taunts Arthur to come back and fight him.
That’s how delusional Schiff has become. Every witness he has thrown at Trump has been humiliated and shown to be a worthless DEEP STATE POS. When that doesn’t work, claim a press conference victory and try something else. When that doesn’t work, claim a press conference victory and try something else. When that doesn’t work, claim a press conference victory and try something else......


7 posted on 11/20/2019 9:17:27 PM PST by Bommer (2020 - Vote all incumbent congressmen and senators out! VOTE THE BUMS OUT!!!)
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To: wattojawa

Ping


8 posted on 11/20/2019 9:37:33 PM PST by lightman (Byzantine Troparia: The "praise choruses" of antiquity.)
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To: NOBO2012

Monty Python foretold of many liberal mental disorders long before anyone thought they would be possible as mainstream thought.


9 posted on 11/21/2019 1:45:30 AM PST by Erik Latranyi (The Democratic Party is now a hate-group)
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To: NOBO2012

Very good!

Now I’m thinking of the scene from Life of Brian, “We are all individuals.”


10 posted on 11/21/2019 2:39:39 AM PST by Loud Mime ("Now, go and do your duty before darkness covers the earth." Michael Uhlmann (1939 - 2019))
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To: Loud Mime

Ok Loretta.


11 posted on 11/21/2019 8:43:20 AM PST by rawcatslyentist ("All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing")
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To: rawcatslyentist

That scene was 30 years ahead of its time. :)


12 posted on 11/21/2019 4:56:59 PM PST by Loud Mime ("Now, go and do your duty before darkness covers the earth." Michael Uhlmann (1939 - 2019))
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To: NOBO2012

well done! I was thinking Monte Python myself.


13 posted on 11/21/2019 5:13:09 PM PST by CodeToad
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