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North Korea Reports Kim Jong Un Is 'Most Alive Person In Universe'
Babylon Bee ^
| 04/25/2020
Posted on 04/26/2020 1:44:41 PM PDT by DFG
The Democratic People's Republic of Korea reported today that Kim Jong Un is not dead and in fact is "the most alive person in the universe."
"American fake news says Supreme Leader is dead, but we found that he was more alive than anyone ever in history," said a spokesperson. "If he lies in still vegetative state, it is only because he is stuffed so full of life like a big meal and needs time to properly digest all that life. So much life. Such great life."
According to the official statement released by the Korean Central News Agency, the dictator is not dead but is more alive than life itself. "Think of the most alive thing ever: a rambunctious toddler, a blooming flower, an angry bear. Pulsing, teeming with life: that is the very essence of our Supreme Leader."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: china; dprk; japan; kimjongun; korea; northkorea; parody; pyongyang; russia; satire
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1
posted on
04/26/2020 1:44:41 PM PDT
by
DFG
To: All
2
posted on
04/26/2020 1:46:41 PM PDT
by
Peter ODonnell
(Pray for health, economic recovery, and justice.)
To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...
3
posted on
04/26/2020 1:46:48 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
To: DFG
4
posted on
04/26/2020 1:47:36 PM PDT
by
dhs12345
To: Peter ODonnell
5
posted on
04/26/2020 1:51:59 PM PDT
by
dangus
To: DFG
Jeffrey Epstein dead or Seth Rich dead
To: DFG
7
posted on
04/26/2020 1:54:01 PM PDT
by
faucetman
(Just the facts, ma'am, Just the facts)
To: DFG
I tbought that was the Dos Equis guy
8
posted on
04/26/2020 1:57:55 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
To: DFG
9
posted on
04/26/2020 2:00:23 PM PDT
by
PGR88
To: DFG
What is very real is that femi-Nazis and scum media are already touting the tyrant b*tch successor as a win for women.
10
posted on
04/26/2020 2:00:48 PM PDT
by
shanover
(...To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them.-S.Adams)
To: SunkenCiv
To: DFG
To: DFG
13
posted on
04/26/2020 2:13:18 PM PDT
by
Bon mots
To: DFG
A Soviet leader was never more alive than the minute before his death was announced.
14
posted on
04/26/2020 2:13:19 PM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
(Parachutes are only anecdotally effective due to the lack of significant double blind testing.)
To: DFG
A Soviet leader was never more alive than the minute before his death was announced.
15
posted on
04/26/2020 2:14:22 PM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
(Parachutes are only anecdotally effective due to the lack of significant double blind testing.)
To: DFG
I always try to put myself int the “other guy’s shoes”. Let’s see, there is a virus that kills fat people...
16
posted on
04/26/2020 2:14:30 PM PDT
by
wastoute
(Anyone who believes PsyOps are not involved has never met a PsyOps Officer.)
To: DFG
He’s dead.
Just a head cold.
To: DFG
he is playing golf with daniel ortega...
To: DFG; moder_ator
This is one Bee article that belongs in breaking.
19
posted on
04/26/2020 2:19:48 PM PDT
by
Hieronymus
(“I shall drink to the Pope, if you please, still, to conscience first, and to the Pope afterwards.Â)
To: DFG
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