Posted on 07/27/2020 3:55:03 PM PDT by DFG
MINAS TIRITH—Orcs marched on Minas Tirith this morning in a mostly peaceful protest.
The rioters marched for peace, justice, and love in a calm, peaceful, orderly gathering outside the city walls. The mostly peaceful protesters launched peaceful siege projectiles at the city and sent Nazguls to maul Gondorian soldiers in a demonstration of their love and tolerance.
"Everything is very calm, very peaceful here," said a reporter from Gondor News Network. "It's very tranquil." Just then, an Oliphaunt charged right at him and flattened him into lembas bread.
Gondor's government was criticized for "police brutality" when, after a long period of inaction, Rohan's armies finally charged in to break things up.
"We were just peacefully protesting -- Gondor had no right to peacefully protest back," said one Orc. "Two of their agents were even having a contest to see how many of us they could kill -- and they were killing the majestic, endangered Oliphaunts! I'm literally shaking right now."
Now THAT’S funny, I don’t care who ya are!
Gives “Denethor Derangement Syndrome” a whole new meaning.
Must read Bored of the Rings to full get this but I does help lift my dark humor smile.
bttt
Denethor was addicted to Gondor News Network. He watched it through the Palantir constantly. That’s why he went mad and killed himself just before the Rohirrim broke up the protests.
That’s a good one! Thanks, I needed that.
“Must read Bored of the Rings”
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Thanks - I thought it was maybe Harry Potter or the like. I’m not big on fairytale stories so this went ZOOM right over my head.
Try reading Bored of the Rings before reading Lord of the Rings.
Works good.
That is the best Babylon Bee headline ever.
Well played! Nicely done!
Just need Rove-tongue whispering his dispiriting commentary in the king’s ear.
So what happened to Tim Benzedrine and Hashberry?
“Try reading Bored of the Rings before reading Lord of the Rings.”
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I saw a paperback cover of Bored years back. Title was funny, but the genre just doesn’t appeal to me - including parodies. The closest I’d get is Monty Pythons Grail.
Another great one from BB!
I never read any of that as it thought that J. R. R. Tolkien had one too many initials and I always thought it was too pretentious.
I did think up an easy way to destroy Sauron. Just give him a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.
Here’s a LOTR oldie;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B2LPxggvqY
Wow. The Bee does great work!
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