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Loud Cheering Heard From Lockheed Martin Board Room
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/24/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/24/2022 2:19:30 PM PST by DFG

BETHESDA, MD—Sources within Lockheed Martin confirmed today that loud cheering was heard coming from the defense contractor's executive board room.

The cheers coincided with the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, as multiple voices within the U.S. condemned the attack and suggested that America intervene in the dispute.

"YEEEEEAH!!!!" came a cry echoing through the building. The sounds of high-fives, pounding on the conference table, and a loud, thumping chest bump were also heard. At one point, a chant erupted of, "WAR! WAR! WAR!" Some employees claim they heard the sound of a champagne bottle being opened, while others say confetti poppers went off throughout the morning.

One source said they heard a repetitive metal tapping sound, which was later confirmed to be the sound of sabers rattling, while another said she heard a loud, rhythmic booming, which was later confirmed to be war drums.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Lockheed Martin was throwing a free pizza party for all employees at their main offices.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; believedit; defense; lockheed; russia; satire; ukraine
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Not Satire
1 posted on 02/24/2022 2:19:31 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Not really funny. Disappointed in the Bee for this. I cant speak to what goes on in a executive board room, but military contractors are no more happy about war than the military troops who have to suffer it are. We all do our job and our duty, and our job is to help the warrior succeed and come home. Sorry for the rant but this is poor taste.


2 posted on 02/24/2022 2:23:12 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: DFG

It’s going to be over before they can sell a single missile.


3 posted on 02/24/2022 2:23:32 PM PST by BenLurkin ((The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.))
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To: DFG

Not true. They were quiet high 5s and thumbs up throughout the building. And the Pentagon. And Langley.


4 posted on 02/24/2022 2:24:32 PM PST by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: DFG

damn the BEE...


5 posted on 02/24/2022 2:25:19 PM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Magnum44

True. A time and place for everything, this not the time for frivolity over an imvasion.


6 posted on 02/24/2022 2:25:26 PM PST by Fungi
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To: All

.
This is true.

The Money Spigot gets turned on high and Joey and Lindsey and Marco get their Glamour shots with Planes and Military men.

100%

DOD money goes missing regularly


7 posted on 02/24/2022 2:26:43 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: Fungi

The Bee does what the Bee does — and well.


8 posted on 02/24/2022 2:27:01 PM PST by George from New England
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To: Magnum44

The military contractors want perpetual war and they have had it for the last 75 years.


9 posted on 02/24/2022 2:27:58 PM PST by Captain Peter Blood (https://www.freerepublic.com/focus/bloggers/3804407/posts?)
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To: Fungi

.
I question your Username at such a dire time In our existence.

- Jennifer Griffin

.


10 posted on 02/24/2022 2:29:07 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: Captain Peter Blood

More military industrial complex propaganda. I meant what I said in my post. As a vet and a patriot, I would appreciate you not including me in your prop statement.


11 posted on 02/24/2022 2:30:16 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: Magnum44

War is a racket.


12 posted on 02/24/2022 2:30:29 PM PST by Trailerpark Badass (“There should be a whole lot more going on than throwing bleach,” said one woman.)
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To: DFG

The Bee got me! I don’t know how I miss their byline. I start reading the summary, and only after I’ve swallowed the bait, do I check.

Those who say it isn’t funny are correct - in a sad way.


13 posted on 02/24/2022 2:32:51 PM PST by Empire_of_Liberty
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To: Trailerpark Badass
Government service has become a racket.

Warriors and those contractors that support them are why you have the freedoms you have to say stupid stuff.

14 posted on 02/24/2022 2:33:24 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: AnthonySoprano

LOL, zing!


15 posted on 02/24/2022 2:33:41 PM PST by Trailerpark Badass (“There should be a whole lot more going on than throwing bleach,” said one woman.)
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To: Magnum44
It's very funny because the truth hurts. Our largest defense companies are completely politicized and you know it.

LM has been bailed out more times than GM. And if President FJB, the Chief of the Teat says "sacrifice all employees who won't take the jab", these companies will do it without a hesitation or objection.

16 posted on 02/24/2022 2:36:30 PM PST by Theophilus (Convoy!)
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To: Magnum44

Look, I too come from a family of vets, WWII and Korean War, and I’m all for arming our side as much as possible with the best available.

But why, then, would a five star general who happened to become president of the United States publicly warn about said military industry complex?

Were you a five star general?
Do you know better than him?

Serious question.


17 posted on 02/24/2022 2:37:35 PM PST by ColoCdn (Nihil, sine deo)
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To: DFG

globalists want war
globalists want chaos


18 posted on 02/24/2022 2:38:02 PM PST by RockyTx
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To: Magnum44
Screw you. My freedoms are granted from God, not 19 year-old cannon fodder. Right now the biggest threat to my freedom is sitting right there in Washington DC. Putin doesn't even come close. Let me know when all those heroes decide to defend MY freedom here, instead of half a world away. Hey, might want to start defending OUR border, instead of Ukraine's.

Let me know when you win 2 MOH's. Till then, I'm going with Smedley.

19 posted on 02/24/2022 2:38:04 PM PST by Trailerpark Badass (“There should be a whole lot more going on than throwing bleach,” said one woman.)
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To: Empire_of_Liberty

#metoo


20 posted on 02/24/2022 2:39:03 PM PST by moovova
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