Fetterman Defends Light Schedule as Lt. Gov [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 October 2022 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Accosted by criticism that his light work schedule as Pennsylvania's lieutenant governor might not be the best preparation for him to assume the duties of a US Senator, John Fetterman pointed out that "Congress only works about half the days of the year. And that so-called work is mostly just hanging around in case there is a bill to be voted on. Look, if a dope like Joe Biden could hack that job for nearly 30 years anyone in America should be considered qualified to handle that job."

Fetterman also fended off contentions that his life story does not convey confidence that he understands the way the average person lives. Until he became Lt. Governor, the 53 year-old Fetterman lived off of income provided by his parents. His sister sold him his home for $1.

"Fortunately, I have had a very loving family," Fetterman said. "It would be great if every parent were as generous. Sadly, that is not the case. One of the initiatives that I hope to champion when I'm in the Senate is legislation that would, like the Obama Care law, require parents to support their children until they are able to make it on their own. If that should take 50 years like it did for me, so be it. Of course, parents would have the right to request being relieved of this responsibility if they claim they can't afford it, but whether they are relieved would be up to a court to decide."

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[oldtech]

THis reminds me of a joke I had heard that may be related to the type of government work that Fetterman is acquainted with......A man goes into a government office to apply for a job that was opening. During the oral interview he mentions that he would be be very conscientious about getting to the job site on time & starting his work promptly after getting there. He goes over the usual list of qualifications for the job as well. A few days later, he gets a call from the official who interviewed him & is informed that he will be hired. He says “this is great” & wants to know when he would start & what the office hours would be. Well he is told the office hours are 8-to-5, but he would be starting at 10am. He asks why that is & is told that since it is a government job & the other workers have been there for years, their hours include coming in at 8am. “Their first 2 hours are spent standing around drinking coffee & scratching their privates & no actual working ever starts before about 10am”. “Since reviewing your application,I would say that if you come in at 10am, you won’t really miss out on anything”.