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Fox News Calls Arizona For Stacey Abrams
babylonbee.com ^
| 11/8/22
Posted on 11/08/2022 9:49:54 AM PST by cotton1706
PHOENIX, AZ — In a shocking turn of events, data analysts at Fox News have called the gubernatorial race in Arizona for Stacey Abrams.
"Yes, we are aware that Stacey Abrams isn't even running in Arizona, but we have top analysts working on this and the data does not lie," said Fox News polling expert Arnon Mishkin. "Stacey Abrams is your new governor. The election is over. You can all go home now. Goodnight!"
Poll workers were reporting pandemonium at several key voting locations as voting machines mysteriously stopped working, but the chaos immediately subsided after they announced that Abrams had won so there was no need to vote.
"Whew! I thought I was going to have to wait in line all day for them to fix the machines, but then Fox News called the election! What a relief!" said one local voter who asked not to be named. "Thanks, Fox News!"
At publishing time, Fox had also revealed that Joe Biden had been elected governor of Georgia.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; fixnews; isthisthebee; rememberarizona; rememberthesteal; satire; tuckervoted4kanye
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Too funny not to post.
To: cotton1706
I thought it was Justin Trudeau.
2
posted on
11/08/2022 9:53:13 AM PST
by
blueunicorn6
("A crack shot and a good dancer” )
To: cotton1706
We should put ‘satire’ in the titles for these things today.
Everyone is expecting weirdness; and after all we’ve witnessed, anything seems within the realm of possibility.
3
posted on
11/08/2022 9:54:15 AM PST
by
Jamestown1630
("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
To: cotton1706; AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; ..
4
posted on
11/08/2022 9:54:36 AM PST
by
SunkenCiv
(Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
To: cotton1706
Ariz. could use more shade.
5
posted on
11/08/2022 9:56:29 AM PST
by
Paladin2
To: null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; bitt; ...
6
posted on
11/08/2022 9:56:53 AM PST
by
bitt
( <IMG SRC=' 'width=50%>)
To: cotton1706
To: cotton1706
8
posted on
11/08/2022 9:58:36 AM PST
by
gattaca
(Either you will control your government, or government will control you. Ronald Reagan)
To: Jamestown1630
Fux News would actually do this.
9
posted on
11/08/2022 9:58:45 AM PST
by
AAABEST
( NY/DC/LA media/political/military industrial complex DELENDA EST)
To: cotton1706
As her first order all of the all-you-can-eat buffets will be taxpayer funded.
Including for illegals.
After she fixes her plates.
10
posted on
11/08/2022 9:59:14 AM PST
by
Tell It Right
(1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: cotton1706
This is not the best day to play this game.
To: Tell It Right
After she her staff fixes her plates. A revolving procession from the buffet to Abrams table.
12
posted on
11/08/2022 10:07:32 AM PST
by
citizen
(The pResident On Hot Mic With Florida Official: ‘No One F**ks With A Biden’)
To: All
.
Martha McCallum defended the NY Dem yesterday that said his answer to curbing inflation was for people to eat Chef Boyardee.
They are closet Progressives.
13
posted on
11/08/2022 10:08:17 AM PST
by
AnthonySoprano
(Statute of Limitations is going to elapse on Hunter Biden )
To: cotton1706
14
posted on
11/08/2022 10:11:34 AM PST
by
God luvs America
(63.5 million pay no income tax and vote for DemoKrats...)
To: Paladin2
I see what you did there.
15
posted on
11/08/2022 10:12:26 AM PST
by
central_va
(I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
To: cotton1706
OMG, I burst out laughing when I read the title.
To: cotton1706
Brett and Martha were on the noon FOX show talking about how 20% of Arizona’s machines in Maricopa county which has 62% of Arizona voters seems like an issue.
Ya think?
17
posted on
11/08/2022 10:13:33 AM PST
by
1Old Pro
To: cotton1706
Ha! Some idiot will buy it. lol
To: Jamestown1630
>
We should put ‘satire’ in the titles for these things today. Since they weren't already in the Keywords, I just added "babylonbee" and "satire".
Personally I think having "satire" in the Keywords is sufficient; having it in the title is too much of a spoiler. :-)
19
posted on
11/08/2022 10:14:27 AM PST
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is starting to sound pretty good.")
To: cotton1706
I knew she could overcome centuries of prejudice and hate to win Arizona!
;-)
20
posted on
11/08/2022 10:14:46 AM PST
by
cgbg
(Claiming that laws and regs that limit “hate speech” stop freedom of speech is “hate speech”.)
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