Posted on 02/26/2023 2:16:00 PM PST by DFG
LOS ANGELES, CA — Due to the overwhelming popularity of the film Cocaine Bear, movie studio executives and producers announced they have already green-lighted a sequel — an emotional, psychological film reportedly titled Rehab Bear.
"We thought it would be really great to see where the bear goes from here," said producer Curt Schampers. "We've seen him in the throes of cocaine addiction, raging at the world. What happens when he is forced into rehab and discovers that his true enemy…is the bear within?"
The studio has reached out to Martin Scorsese to direct the project, described as part One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, part Taxi Driver, part Tommy Boy. The story reportedly features the formerly cocaine-addled grizzly bear being checked into a rehab facility by his loved ones to deal with his inner demons. "It's much more of a low-key, psychological drama than the first film," Schampers continued. "This is about the bear really digging down deep into his soul, finding the true source of his drug addiction, and also mauling and killing dozens and dozens of other people at the rehab facility."
Producers were expected to use a mixture of live bears and CGI bears, despite the rumored interest of renowned actor Daniel Day-Lewis in playing the role of the bear.
At publishing time, creators of the film were already brainstorming potential future installments of the franchise, including Relapse Bear, Cocaine Bear Hits Rock Bottom, and the natural conclusion of the series — Cocaine Bear Runs for Congress.
Third in the Trilogy working title, “Relapse Bear”.
This is fricking insane.
Saw the movie this morning.
It was camp and fun.
I read some reviews on IMDB…and I think a lot of folks need to stop taking themselves so seriously.
Will it be anything more than a trivia question in 30 years? I don’t know. I will likely be dead then.
Cocaine Bear.
Rehab Bear.
Relapse Bear.
Treatment Bear.
12 Step Bear.
10 Years Clean Bear.
Sponsor Bear.
In reality the writer says he has ideas, culminating in Cocaine Bear in Space.
The trailer to this looks hilarious.
That’s funny. The movies almost write themselves.
Some Bears never got to go to rehab. 90 meetings in 90 days Bear.
I’ll wait for gritty AMC series Breaking Bear.
Smuggle Bear
Dealer Bear
Cartel Bear
Drug Lord Bear
Prison Bear
It will be recast with a Black Bear playing the Grizzly Bear part.
The real bear was stuffed and Waylon Jennings owned for a time..
“As for the bear itself, it didn’t go on a killing spree, but its legend lives on. According to local lore, the coroner who performed the autopsy had the bear taxidermied and donated to the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area soon after the debacle. The stuffed bear then supposedly went missing, bouncing between pawn shops and the home of Waylon Jennings before landing at the Kentucky for Kentucky Fun Mall in Lexington. There, he’s displayed in a rotating series of hats with an opened bag, nestled just at his feet.”
After the upteenth coffee-soaked meeting listening to depressing tales AA/AN Bear flips out and kills anyone between him and the next bender. His long-time neighbor was heard saying “Lets run for it, Boo Boo. He’s not looking for pick-a-nick baskets!”
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