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Dems Debunk Biden Corruption Charges [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 October 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/30/2023 1:29:56 AM PDT by John Semmens

At the opening hearing of the House impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden, University law professor Jonathan Turley testified that "the influence-peddling scheme of the Bidens was of a scope so large and complex that it dwarfs anything we've ever seen in our government. It's hard to see how Joe Biden couldn't have been involved or couldn't have benefited from these corrupt dealings."

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) pointed out that "there are no canceled checks with Joe Biden's signature on them. There are no eye witnesses of him pocketing any cash. Compare this to the millions of witnesses who heard Trump deny he lost the 2020 election and ask yourself 'who is the real criminal in this picture?' I think the House Republicans who are pursuing this impeachment inquiry are committing serious ethics violations."

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Tex) said "the only evidence that I see is of a father's love for his family. Joe let Hunter use his name to build a multi-million dollar cash flow business. This name was the only asset Hunter needed to secure positions and payments from numerous foreign businesses and wealthy individuals. This money was distributed to the President's children, brothers, nieces, and nephews. I wish my parents had been as generous with me as Joe has been to those he loves."

Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC), the man who persuaded all of Biden's challengers to drop out during the early stages of the 2020 primary, said "all that allowing his son to build a business on the family name tells me is that he is a good father. Hunter is a man with serious substance abuse problems. Without his father's help he'd likely be in jail, homeless or dead. It is shameful that Republicans want to punish the President for loving his son."

CNN Analyst Kasie Hunt and Political Correspondent Sara Murray agreed that "Joe Biden's boast that he coerced Ukraine into firing Shokin by threatening to withhold a billion dollars of US aid doesn't prove that he knew anything about the $10 million Burisma says it paid Hunter to get this prosecutor off their back. He could've been just trying to embellish his image as a key policymaker in the Obama Administration. After all, there isn't a person alive who hasn't seen this kind of blowhard behavior from him before."

Attorney General Merrick Garland asserted that "we wouldn't have gone to the efforts we have made to block GOP invasions of the President's privacy if we believed he was capable of the kind of corruption they accuse him of. He is the essential protector of our democracy from its enemies. Keeping him in the position to save it is more important than the few millions he is accused of taking for himself."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/351420-2023-09-30-semi-news-semi-satire-october-1-2023-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: aoc; clyburngarland; cnn; crockett; satire; turley

1 posted on 09/30/2023 1:29:56 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 09/30/2023 1:31:36 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The sad part is it’s so believable.

EC


3 posted on 09/30/2023 2:41:38 AM PDT by Ex-Con777
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To: All

AG Merrick Garland’s reading of his script went well. He asserted that:
“Biden is the essential protector of our democracy. Keeping him in the position to save
democracy is more important than the few millions he is accused of corruptly taking for himself.”


4 posted on 09/30/2023 5:00:44 AM PDT by Liz ( 2024 Dems will have the same guy with the same team around him, just older.)
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To: All

The flaky hate-filled Biden keeps escalating his “Get Trump” jihad.....
out to demean and degrade everyone in Trump’s orbit via the corrupt Biden judicial system.

Anyway, Trump is still leading Joe Biden in the RCP average.

Ironically, it is now conventional wisdom that Demented Joe Biden
and the Democrats are THE greatest threats to American democracy.


5 posted on 09/30/2023 5:09:45 AM PDT by Liz ( 2024 Dems will have the same guy with the same team around him, just older.)
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To: All

“Joe Biden’s videotaped boast that he coerced Ukraine by threatening to withhold a billion dollars of
US aid doesn’t prove a thing. Heck, who hasn’t seen this kind of blowhard behavior from Biden before?”


6 posted on 09/30/2023 5:20:55 AM PDT by Liz ( 2024 Dems will have the same guy with the same team around him, just older.)
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To: John Semmens

Fortunately, the Bidens haven’t committed any serious crimes like jaywalking, spitting on the sidewalk or removing furniture tags.


7 posted on 10/01/2023 9:02:49 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> --- )
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