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MORFORD: To The Drunk Who Smashed My Car Quite a wreck you made, didn't you?
SF GATE ^ | 11/11/05 | Miss Morford

Posted on 11/11/2005 9:31:11 AM PST by BurbankKarl

Yes, I know you were drunk. Must've been. Either drunk or on serious meds and/or you just didn't give much of a damn about anything anyway because you're just one of those people, one of those types who comes lurching around the city like a chunk of numbed pain in your big-ass mid-'80s burgundy car with the white top and chrome bumpers -- an old Cadillac? Monte Carlo? -- early last Sunday morning to wreak casual havoc.

Is that about right? Do you remember any of it? Here is what I'm guessing: probably not.

Let me tell you what happened, as I pieced it together from witnesses and all the shards of scrap metal in the street and from my mind's eye, and as I'm sure it's all one soggy blur to you. Oh yes, this is a true story.

Six a.m., Sunday

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


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To: BurbankKarl
Hey Morford: Image Hosted by ImageShack.us No one cares!
21 posted on 11/11/2005 10:52:38 AM PST by WasDougsLamb (Just my opinion.Go easy on me........)
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To: freedomson


j/k I've always wanted to post that follow up.
22 posted on 11/11/2005 10:55:15 AM PST by BJClinton (An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. ~ Sir Winston Churchill)
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To: BurbankKarl

Egad, he has a link on that page that says: "Dude, you smell like a hummer"...


23 posted on 11/11/2005 11:06:58 AM PST by BJClinton (An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. ~ Sir Winston Churchill)
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To: BurbankKarl

It couldn't have been a drunk. Must have been an impoverished, disaffected youth.


24 posted on 11/13/2005 10:57:55 AM PST by ViLaLuz (Stop the ACLU - Support the Public Expression of Religion Act 2005 - Call your congressmen.)
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To: BurbankKarl
LOL....I think you get the prize for the most KeyWords!

....are you done yet or can you think of more?

25 posted on 11/13/2005 11:03:43 AM PST by SweetCaroline (PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS IN CA JUST ABORTED THEIR FAMILY!!!)
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To: BurbankKarl

Must have been a collective effort. Anyway, I too am impressed.


26 posted on 11/15/2005 11:00:57 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Down with Dhimmicrats! I last updated my FR profile on Wednesday, November 2, 2005.)
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