Posted on 07/24/2009 1:24:55 PM PDT by MindBender26
Cambridge, (MA) - July 33, 2009 – In a surprise public announcement before a startled Boston press corps this afternoon, Cambridge, Massachusetts police chief I. M. Faux declared that his officers have been ordered to no longer check the ID of any possible burglar caught in a home owned by African-Americans.
According to Chief Faux, the new directive instructs officers that if they are called to a home owned by a black physician, for example, they are not to request any positive address verification-identification, even of the person inside the home at 3:00 A.M. is wearing a shirt that says “Massachusetts Department of Corrections” and they are stacking up the jewelry, silverware and television sets near the back door. “The asking for ID is demeaning,” said the Chief.
The new plan extends beyond traditional Black neighborhoods. “I don’t care if the names on the mailbox are Sven and Olga Shnorgenson, there is a blue and gold flag flying out front, old ice skates sitting on the porch, the smell of Swedish meatballs and lutefisk permeating the house…. and the man who answers the door has dreadlocks, a Bob Marley shirt, four gold watches, three gold teeth and calls everyone “Mon”…. there had better not be any ID check!”
He said the policy will also apply to asking for driver’s licenses for African Americans caught for speeding. The chief said, “After all, just how bad is running 115 in a School Zone, compared to a loss of dignity. We can trust these drivers to give us their real names and addresses,” said the Chief.
Chief Faux said his department is also working with local merchants on a plan to ensure African Americans are not asked to show a credit card after a meal in a fine restaurant or when leaving the store after a clothing “purchase.” He agreed that there had been some opposition to his “Don’t Go Shoplifting Without It” plan, but is confident that a threatened Civil Rights suit by the U.S. Department of Justice will “whip the storeowners into line.”
No everyone was enthralled by the Chief’s new plan. The local chapter of ACORN stated, for the record, that in contrast to some rumors, neither ACORN nor the NAACP would be paying for any property lost to the newly empowered Black burglars.
:)
Meanwhile breaking on FOX news. Lord Zero has invited Gates to the White house.
0bamas fault
LOL
Sweet !!!
Seperate laws for Blacks?.....that’s racist!
Beautiful!
Some days... the magic just works!
:)
Have a good weekend.
Separate but equal.... still!
If I were Crowley, I tell Obama and Gates I will see them in slander court
We may have a solution here! Since they have such a distain for authority, the police, and all law enforcement, let them only have their own.
There could be no racial profiling,no lawsuits, if all was done by the same race.
As someone told us long ago, leave some peoples to themselves and they will cannabolize themselves!
I am so happy to see this announcement coming so soon after his minions caused the embarrassment of our dear president.
Oops, my 5 year old just told me he thinks you are bending my mind!
Thanks,
BG
Let’s give the town of Cambridge and all the police groups a break on this one. They have supported this police officer from word one.
The really shocking thing would be IF Harvard issued an advisory to professors that they are NOT God and cannot expect special treatment just because they are professors
This has to be satire, right?
Yeah and I know the post is satire and sarcasm. The only problem I have is that this idiot professor and his stupid student (POS Potus)are using it to detract from the health care debate
Talking about voter registration or polling place check-in, too?
Ya think?
Do you have a source link for this?
Why not just have a same race officer respond to the scene? If the perp is black, white, Chinese, etc., just send in same. Should cut down on the racist lawsuits. Of course that would mean a wait for the appropriate race officer rather than the closest one in some cases.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.