Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice
The Daily Squib ^ | 8/6/11 | Nelson Umerogwa

Posted on 08/07/2011 6:16:43 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose

Home | World | Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice By Nelson Umerogwa 15 hours 53 minutes ago Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice

WASHINGTON DC - USA - An increasingly desperate Barack Obama has ordered twelve witch doctors from Kenya to be flown to the White House, CNN has reported.

"Obama is so desperate that he's turning to voodoo to get the U.S. economy back on track," a Treasury employee told CNN.

The White House was tonight being prepared for the arrival of the witch doctors, who will utilise many different techniques and materials for their special rituals.

"Help From the Old Country"

"They been doing this stuff for thousands of years so they know what to do. We're bringing in some goats and chickens and putting them in the East room. I told 'em to watch out though and not get any blood on the carpet," a White House aide said.

According to anthropological experts, the voodoo practitioners will all try to bring the U.S. economy back from the brink of certain destruction, but even if they fail, they will still get paid, much like real economic advisers and so-called experts.

"We're hoping for the Dow to rise by at least 600 points, depending on how many chickens are sacrificed," one of the witch doctors revealed just before leaving Nairobi international airport yesterday.

Unfortunately for Mr Obama, this is the last chance he has to make things work after he was caught sleeping on the job whilst a major economic meltdown happened right under his nose.

"Obama is using American taxpayers' money to fly these guys from Africa to Washington for three days, feed them and pay them. This just beggars belief," John Bullwark, a senior GOP representative from Texas told Fox news.

President Obama, who was attending his 50th hip hop shizazoe hizzoe bash yesterday, was not available for comment.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: enonomy; humor; obama; witchdoctors
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-37 next last
Finally Obama has a solution......?
1 posted on 08/07/2011 6:16:50 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Zer0’s not playing golf this w/e?


2 posted on 08/07/2011 6:18:29 AM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Now that he has a plan we can finally compromise.../S

lol


3 posted on 08/07/2011 6:20:05 AM PDT by paint_your_wagon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

A marked improvement from his usual gang of Keynsians and Marxists.


4 posted on 08/07/2011 6:22:57 AM PDT by all the best
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: all the best

What a waste of money... flying them to DC ... when
all Oboma has to do is look around; we have a Congress
full of Witch Doctors.


5 posted on 08/07/2011 6:24:53 AM PDT by Razmataz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Zer0 should just share some sacrifice with Arugula and Kobe beef.


6 posted on 08/07/2011 6:28:03 AM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

He will probably bring his Aunt Zuni in to interpret and do the blood drinking.


7 posted on 08/07/2011 6:28:07 AM PDT by Venturer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Razmataz

Just what we need, more witchcraft in the White House, which is an abomination to God. Why not just rain down more curses on us already, to go with the ones brought about by deserting our ally, Israel.


8 posted on 08/07/2011 6:28:34 AM PDT by Kackikat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

“We’re hoping for the Dow to rise by at least 600 points, depending on how many chickens are sacrificed,”

Or RINOs


9 posted on 08/07/2011 6:30:15 AM PDT by Huskrrrr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

It takes dedication, resolve, purpose, and study to become a witch doctor. Finally there might be some adults in the White House.


10 posted on 08/07/2011 6:30:52 AM PDT by norwaypinesavage (Galileo: In science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of one individual)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Admin Moderator

Looks like this thread has no source - - no foundation either


11 posted on 08/07/2011 6:31:07 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Uhh, check your link, dude....


12 posted on 08/07/2011 6:31:12 AM PDT by StrictTime
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: StrictTime

Check how long this “person” has been a member!


13 posted on 08/07/2011 6:33:41 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Loud Mime

But it is entertaining.


14 posted on 08/07/2011 6:34:18 AM PDT by boomop1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Loud Mime
Hoax Warning
15 posted on 08/07/2011 6:34:29 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Loud Mime

Go to the Daily Squib. Read more. Laugh a lot. A fine source for entertainment—with a twist—as the stories are often believable!!! In today’s world of uncertainty and fear, it’s too bad humor is lost on so many people.


16 posted on 08/07/2011 6:46:56 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose (Be strong in truth!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Next time post the correct link and in the correct forum, this is not news.


17 posted on 08/07/2011 6:48:55 AM PDT by Sidebar Moderator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Funny, however the truth is even more alarming. The collapse of the economic system is exactly what he was trying to cause.

OBAMA: Mission Accomplished
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2759730/posts

He has given only lip service to creating jobs. Almost all the stimulus money spent had no hope of actually creating real jobs or jumpstarting the economy.


18 posted on 08/07/2011 6:48:59 AM PDT by AngieGal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

Well, if this doesn’t work maybe Zero will bring in Snoop Dog for consultation.


19 posted on 08/07/2011 6:50:01 AM PDT by layman (Card Carrying Infidel)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: foundedonpurpose

“When Nature Calls” in reverse.


20 posted on 08/07/2011 6:54:00 AM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-37 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson