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DEFINITIONS
email from a friend | 11/28/2017 | unknown

Posted on 11/28/2017 2:33:05 AM PST by sodpoodle

Definitions

BEAUTY PARLOR A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF Cold Storage.

INFLATION Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.

RAISIN A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET A story you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES Something other people have....similar to my character lines.

OLD I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" . . . and that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!

In youth, the days are short and the years are long. In old age, the years are short and days long.  


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: clever
Add your own;)
1 posted on 11/28/2017 2:33:05 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle
This is Great! 😎
2 posted on 11/28/2017 2:49:22 AM PST by fedupjohn (The Alpha Male Chosen By The People to #MAGA....President Trump...)
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To: sodpoodle
"SECRET- A story you tell to one person at a time."

That is the perfect liberal interpretation of the word.
3 posted on 11/28/2017 3:09:54 AM PST by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: sodpoodle

bfl


4 posted on 11/28/2017 4:44:41 AM PST by Does so (McAuliffe's Charlottesville...and...The Walter Duranty Press"...)
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To: sodpoodle
CHICKENS The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Nope. Some fish qualify.

5 posted on 11/28/2017 5:58:43 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Ban pre-shredded cheese now! Make America Grate Again.)
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To: sodpoodle

GYNECOLOGIST: Spreads old wives tales


6 posted on 11/28/2017 11:48:00 PM PST by SaintsWillWin
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