Posted on 03/23/2018 6:36:41 AM PDT by C19fan
A relationship expert who describes herself as the 'Get the Ring Coach' has revealed why women looking for marriage should refuse to date men on an exclusive basis - until they propose.
Love and Relationship Coach Sami Wunder, who is based between the UK and Germany, used the same trick herself when she first met Chris, now her husband, by refusing to stop dating other people until he popped the question.
Nine months later he did and now they have been happily married for five years and have a son, while Sami has been responsible for 95 proposals in two years of business - with one taking just three months.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Also, I don’t agree with your comment that very successful men don’t date much. Very successful men date. Some of them date a lot. Maybe entry level men at Skadden Arps or JPMorgan don’t have time to date much but very successful men do date.
Sure, the super senior execs that travel, don't do most of the work and can throw money at anything like it's nothing and get women away from their S/O - sure - that's like the top 2% alpha men. But typical man working 60 hours a week making $75/year to $300k/year doesn't want to do that unless they have exec sales job traveling where they are gone all the time. I've been in that group for the last 8 years and nearly everyone I know is in that group. I know one playboy. The rest all settled down with marriage a long time ago or stay in monogamous relationships. I do not know a single one who actively wanted to date multiple women if they found a good one.
And do you intend to have that conversation with her instead of expecting the girlfriend... to ‘absorb it out of the air through osmosis?’
If you have never said ‘I love you’, and expect her to be faithful/loyal and date only you...then you aren’t ready for a real committed relationship! And if you aren’t promising the same faithfulness...forget it!
The reason men and women have so many issues is that COMMUNICATION is missing or non existent. Never assume she knows what you want, that’s immature and childish. We are not mind readers, although our intuition is pretty good.
YOUR COMMENT: “I know you just slept with Jose on Monday night, hose B on Wednesday night, and this morning with Chad, but will you marry me?”
Holy Cow! If you think real women are like that, then you have been looking for love in all the wrong places...sheesh!
They won’t like how this story ends.
re: Successful men dating.
Both myself and my real estate agent in AZ are successful men and we both have difficulty finding the time for a serious relationship.
Most women want more of a commitment than I have the time to give.
60hr work weeks are hard on relationships.
I think the better approach would be to be "exclusive" for at least a few months before playing the "we're not going to be exclusive unless you commit" card. The problem with that is that really would be an ultimatum that would make the guy feel pressured. So that's a downside.
Her idea to state right at the outset that there will be no exclusivity -- except for sex - at least has the advantage of honesty and directness. And it's actually kind of interesting in that it really raises the question of "do I want to lose this girl to someone else" for the guy. And that's a perfectly legitimate question for a guy to ask himself.
That’s not really a “trick”, that is simply the normal course of things.
With the caveat that in many cases, there is often a step where a couple will establish exclusivity before proposal, just to give themselves some time where they are “committed” in some way (often signaled with a “promise ring”).
No man, or woman, should expect that a girl or guy they go out with isn’t also dating other people, until they have a conversation and mutually agree to an exclusive relationship.
Polyamorous?
:)
It was that way here to varying degrees till the Pill
What an idiot - this author..
If a girl is still fickle enough to have to keep several guys around, she doesn’t love YOU.
Cut and run. She’s not worth it.
My wife and I both just did NOT want to be without each other. We simply had no interest in other people, just in case...
You might even meet a real man, you know, the gentleman type.
Men don’t need to be forced to think about the relationship or fidelity
If it’s not inherent it’s weak
Women at younger ages are just as feckless as men especially today
Older women appear less unfaithful mostly cause they are less sexually driven post reproductive years not more moral
Men and women have parity in this department
My sixty years watching it and living it
And that gentlemen were supposed to preserve the honor of Christian women.
This statement is unlikely on its face, and useless without citations.
Since around 1970.
It may shock you, but there are men who do this, too. Only in the man's case, he walks away with half custody of the kids, and then puts the woman through hell suing for full custody so he can eliminate payments or move to another state as soon as he finds another woman. Happens more than you would imagine.
In that example. If she cheats WITH you, she will cheat on you.
If she’s upset that her boyfriend of 8 months isn’t proposing or at least talking serious proposal (shopping for rings, setting dates etc) then she should just break up with him.
Using me as a way to get her “boyfriend” to propose is dishonest on all sorts of levels.
“Look, I’ve got a boyfriend, but we’ve been going out for 8 months and he won’t commit. So I told him that if another guy asks me out, and I like him, I’m going to say “yes”, and see what happens.”
OK, I can understand that, but will take your case a little further.
She says “Yes”, and you go out, and you like her, but under our original premise, you won’t be sleeping with her, certainly this time, and again, not until such time she breaks up or changes the nature of her relationship with Mr. “Right” of eight months.
So afterwards...
She’s slept with him before, and is still in a sexual relationship with him. Will she tell him of her date with you? An honorable woman would. Will he try to win her “back”, or away from you? Will he initially be successful and have sex with her again, until THEN she (perhaps) decides she wants you instead?
Lots and lots of variables all out of your personal control. Not that I’m making this a control issue, just that you’d be leaving your feelings entirely in the hands of the woman who has a boyfriend, but has decided, for some reason or another that she may or may not fully understand herself, or truly told you, to go out with you at least once.
(Perhaps she’s hoping a date with you will get him serious?)
Who knows.
Obviously, I’m not for it, but I respect your opinion.
Exactly correct!!!!
Women get custody 85% of the time with most of the rest being women that don’t want the kids. 97% of alimony recipients are women (despite higher earner 35% of time). The legal cost for a man to even attempt to get full custody is at least 20k and you still win a small minority of the time
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