Posted on 06/25/2018 3:38:18 AM PDT by sodpoodle
The Fiancé
A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man.
"I am a biblical scholar," he replied.
"A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"
"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.
The conversation proceeded like this... and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
Later, the mother asked, "How’d your talk go honey?"
The father answered, "Another flamin’ Democrat, He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm God."
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.
Thanks for the smiles...
Glad you enjoyed them;)
The MSM would like us to believe that ‘nothing is normal’ which is so crazy and depressing.
A small smile saves sanity!
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In a book called The Jewish Mind by Raphael Patai, he goes into the question of why Jews tend to be very smart. One of the reasons he gives is that in Jewish culture, a scholar was always considered a good match for the daughter of a rich merchant.
Nice ones. I will pass them off as my own. LOL! Not really...but they will be retold.
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