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(vanity) Vet and family
None | Lean-Right

Posted on 07/03/2018 9:36:34 PM PDT by Lean-Right

Hello fellow Freepers, I apologise for the vanity, but I'm near my wits end. My son, a two tour Iraqi combat veteran, diagnosed with PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury, Hyper Anxiety. Family relations are strained to the max, as anything he's confronted with turns into shouting matches, and a lot of hurt feelings. He refuses to take his prescribed medications, and instead, would rather lose himself in alcohol or pot. A regular job for him is impossible to hold. His short and long term memory is nonexistent. I have a daughter that lives less than a mile from me, along with three of my grandchildren. My son doesn't allow them to visit for fears of being ripped off of his army gear (which he is very protective of). He'll give something of his to a friend only to forget who he gave it to, and then blame it on them, accusing them of stealing it. My wife is distraught, as the only way she gets to see her grandchildren is to drive over to my daughters house. Normal family get to gathers don't happen. I've resigned myself to the fact that I can't possibly fix this on my own, and neither can he, unless he can recognise his problems. There has got to be others out there that truly know the pain (as a father), that I'm experiencing. It's tearing us apart.


TOPICS: Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: ptsd; tbi; tbisupport
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To: iowamark

No I don’t enable his alcohol
or drug use. He’s very good at hiding
his “ stash” and bottles. My only
hope in this regard, is that his abuse
doesn’t escalate.


21 posted on 07/03/2018 10:46:23 PM PDT by Lean-Right (Eat More Moose)
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To: Lean-Right

I understand.

I watched my brother die of alcoholism at age 50 because the rest of my family didn’t want to see him homeless and suffering. They literally “loved” him to death. He died 12 years ago...I will never get over it.

I suggest counseling for you and perhaps your wife. This is about getting HIM to get the help he needs, not making you feel better by “helping him not suffer”.

I know that seems harsh. I saw it all up very close and very personal and held my brothers hand as he took his last breath. That was much harsher than anything I’ve said to you here. It did not have to happen and it doesn’t have to happen to your son.

God bless you and your family and your son. I will put you all in my prayers which I greatly believe in. YOU see a counselor, hopefully a tough one.


22 posted on 07/03/2018 10:53:33 PM PDT by Az Joe (I AM TRUMP!)
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To: Lean-Right

From what you write, there was a physical brain injury. I wish the psychs would separate that from mentions of PTSD, which is often described as being purely mental. Some of the linguistic activism in medical rackets is nauseating.

He needs to see someone who specializes in physical head injuries, even if it was a shock injury without any apparent skull wounds (shock wave from explosion, etc.; still physical injuries).

He might need a structured environment (impatient or full time facility) for a while. It’s not always a permanent situation. I’ve known several men who recovered from physical brain injuries to really be themselves again for all practical purposes.

It’s getting tiresome with the greedy, lazy, brutal medical rackets refusing to have manage and direct funding to full time facilities for people who need them. Such human conditions shouldn’t be relegated to families and neighbors (us) without related educations, training and facilities. The medical and insurance racket crooks are focusing their efforts more on where the money is (favorite pet demographics, helping rich folks to live forever, etc.).


23 posted on 07/03/2018 10:59:09 PM PDT by familyop ("Welcome to Costco. I love you." - -Costco greeter in the movie, "Idiocracy")
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To: Lean-Right

Remember that you can only do so much, and that it’s best to try not to worry beyond what problem solving can be done and what actions can be taken. And if you can pray...well, pray.


24 posted on 07/03/2018 11:02:01 PM PDT by familyop ("Welcome to Costco. I love you." - -Costco greeter in the movie, "Idiocracy")
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To: logi_cal869

Your letter & what you shared is priceless; very grateful you took the time.

I will pray for this wounded person and the whole family.


25 posted on 07/03/2018 11:05:39 PM PDT by MonicaG (God bless our military! Praying and thanking God for you every day. Thank you!)
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To: Lean-Right

Capito. Your son is suffering. He does not belong in your house. He belongs in a home for the disabled.

Yes, lots of suffering. He needs disability insurance and a social worker to place him in a home. Talk to the department of mental health in your area to get the ball rolling.


26 posted on 07/03/2018 11:12:27 PM PDT by Falconspeed ("Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others." Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-94))
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To: Lean-Right

Dear Lean-Right, praying for your son, your wife, and whole family. I hope some of the experience and suggestions others shared help your son, and give you some hope & encouragement. I am grateful for your son’s service and very sad that he’s suffering as a result, and ask God to relieve and heal him.


27 posted on 07/03/2018 11:16:14 PM PDT by MonicaG (God bless our military! Praying and thanking God for you every day. Thank you!)
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To: Lean-Right

Maybe a special type of pet dog would help him?

Prayers going up.


28 posted on 07/03/2018 11:22:47 PM PDT by Berlin_Freeper (alea iacta est)
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To: Lean-Right

Look at it this way: alcohol and pot ARE his meds.

I think it’s important that alcoholics and potheads eat right. Make sure he gets a salad every day. No hot dogs or cold cuts. It’s important to eat grounding vegetables like beets and carrots (tubors) and other vegetables. Even a hamburger now and then. I’ve seen it happen before. My Viet Vet friend died in 1998; only ate hot dogs, corn pops and ziti. And lots of beer. We still miss him.

May God bless.


29 posted on 07/03/2018 11:25:11 PM PDT by Concentrate (ex-texan was right and Always Right was wrong, which is why we lost the election. Podesta the molest)
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To: Lean-Right

PTSD is horrible. Have a male cousin with it that is living with me. He was sexually molested as a child. Therapy and a good medical team who understands that the alcohol is the self medication to lessen the pain. (They now have medicine that removes the desire to drink. It’s been very helpful)

Your son needs a safe place to feel the emotions he has stuffed. Being emotionally constipated is no way to go through life

Prayers and meditation helps

We will include you and yours in ours ! With God all things are possible!


30 posted on 07/03/2018 11:39:52 PM PDT by hoosiermama (When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice.DJT)
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To: Lean-Right

Perhaps you might wish to reach out to Point Man International Ministries (PMIM).

From the PMIM info page: “Point Man International Ministries was founded by Bill Landreth in 1984. Bill was a Vietnam veteran who served with the Americal Division. For years he had suffered from what is known as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Having many symptoms of PTSD, Bill couldn’t get all of his needs met by the Veterans Administration (VA). We believe VA provides a very necessary and important role on the road to most veterans recovery, but the concentration does not target the “spiritual” part of man. “

If you are interested, here is a content page for the Coos Bay, Oregon chapter: http://pointman101.org/PMIM.htm

and here is an information page on International ministries:
http://www.pointman101.org/PM.Ministries.htm


31 posted on 07/04/2018 12:26:48 AM PDT by Norski
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To: Lean-Right

I know the pain...so very well. It was my husband who suffered a severe concussion due to a fall.

The man that I adored “died” that night on the floor; it took five years of bruises, broken bones, horrific verbal abuse & a gun held to my head to finally realize that I needed to save myself:(

I also quit speaking to my family for a time because that would really set him off. He would not work much after the accident, so the financial burden was also on me.

He would NEVER admit that he had changed and he most certainly did not think that he needed help..apparently that’s common depending on the area of the brain affected. It’s like they have no idea who you are or why they are somehow stuck with you. On my end...there was this man with the same face, same beloved voice, etc...but “he” wasn’t in there.

As several posters have said above, he may find help with serious therapy...if you can get him there.

Guess my main point in posting is to ask you to REALLY consider the toll that it is taking on you (clear from your post), but also the other family members. Bless you & your hero son; I hope he can one day make it “back” to the family.


32 posted on 07/04/2018 1:35:47 AM PDT by garandgal
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To: Az Joe

Tough love is your only hope. Your son cannot be allowed to continue living with you.


33 posted on 07/04/2018 3:30:11 AM PDT by Louis Foxwell (Islam is Satan's finest work.)
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To: Lean-Right
Prayers up - may have to go through the process of having him committed for observation....they can't keep him but if there is a good staff they might be able to offer some insight which would put another piece in the big picture.

My heart goes out to you, your wife and your son as it is a terrible situation to be in.

34 posted on 07/04/2018 4:00:55 AM PDT by trebb (Too many "Conservatives" who think their opinions outweigh reality these days...)
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To: Lean-Right

Go to your local American Legion and set up an appointment with the Service Officer. The Legion has contacts with sources nationwide that can offer assistance.

Start here:

https://www.legion.org/serviceofficers

Good luck, FRiend


35 posted on 07/04/2018 5:02:20 AM PDT by sergeantdave (Teach a man to fish and he'll steal your gear and sell it)
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To: Lean-Right; Kathy in Alaska; Chode; Squantos; snooter55; All

Prayers done for All involved.

I know others are going to say use the VA. I’m going to say be careful with the VA. They have a tendency to just stuff one full of drugs and send them out the door.

I say this as I have watched it happen to a Loved one. It didn’t end well.

Prayer (((PING)))


36 posted on 07/04/2018 5:32:23 AM PDT by mabarker1 (congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!!)
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To: Lean-Right

Often, young folks with these issues need to be firmly told what to do. They are often seeking solutions ( like alcohol/pot you describe) but are doing so w/o wisdom or knowledge. Get him alone, in a quiet time and simply tell him to get his act together. Give him a firm but softly spoken “direct order”.

Seek out counsel for yourselves too. Maybe do that first.

Been there/done that.

My faith in Jesus as my healer and savior and Lord made my life possible. Often we survivors have issues in dealing with the guilt of having survived.


37 posted on 07/04/2018 6:02:52 AM PDT by Manly Warrior (US ARMY (Ret), "No Free Lunches for the Dogs of War")
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To: Lean-Right

I am greatful to my God that men like your son felt so committed to doing the right thing they threw themselves into the fray so hard to protect that which they loved so much back in the real world.

Strong prayers up for your son and entire family.


38 posted on 07/04/2018 6:06:31 AM PDT by Delta 21 (Build The Wall !! Jail The Cankle !!)
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To: Lean-Right

Praying for you all.


39 posted on 07/04/2018 6:23:49 AM PDT by Duchess47 ("One day I will leave this world and dream myself to Reality" Crazy Horse)
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To: Louis Foxwell

Wrong poster


40 posted on 07/04/2018 8:09:12 AM PDT by Az Joe (I AM TRUMP!)
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