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The Headlines They Wish They Could Write: Day 1
Original content | 7/27/2018 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 07/27/2018 2:35:47 PM PDT by Lazamataz

Today, we discovered that the GDP, a measure of productivity and economic growth, accelerated to 4.1% this last quarter. It had to gall the News Misleadia, they must have been furious. I expected these headlines:

CBS: “Obama Lays Groundwork For Massive GDP Growth In 2018”

NYT: “Trump Fails To Reach 4.2% GDP, Economists Startled”

NBC: “Uncontrolled Expansion Threatens Trade Relations”

CNN: “Trump Russian Collusion Causes Freak Economic Spurt”

MSNBC: “Trump Sucks. Everyone Should Hate Him. Effing Nazi.”
I had fun creating these. I might make this a daily thing.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: lazpings
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To: doorgunner69
Ping!

Thanks for the ping! This guy's funny! :)

21 posted on 07/27/2018 2:52:07 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The New York Times is so openly dishonest, even their crossword puzzles lie.)
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To: logitech
I heard one report today that said the rise in GDP was fueled by countries stocking up ahead of tariffs.

Another report said the GDP jump was fueled by an increase in soybean prices.

Which would account for 0.0022% of said increase.

And they wonder why we laugh at them.

22 posted on 07/27/2018 2:53:33 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The New York Times is so openly dishonest, even their crossword puzzles lie.)
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To: Lazamataz; governsleastgovernsbest
> Would you like me to ping you to these, or should I create a new ping list so people can more easily opt-in/out and not miss the more meaty articles I occasionally write?

I suggest you separate the lists.

You might also want to check in with Freeper Mark Finkelstein (governsleastgovernsbest) since he runs the Liberal Media Criticism List, which tracks and reports on the latest liberal media atrocities and unintentional humor.

Between the two of you we'll be laughing, groaning, and rolling in the aisles every day!!

23 posted on 07/27/2018 2:55:51 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: dayglored; governsleastgovernsbest
You might also want to check in with Freeper Mark Finkelstein (governsleastgovernsbest) since he runs the Liberal Media Criticism List, which tracks and reports on the latest liberal media atrocities and unintentional humor. Between the two of you we'll be laughing, groaning, and rolling in the aisles every day!!

Whatchya think, Mark F? Could you use a daily humor column on your website, necessarily short of course, of this type?

24 posted on 07/27/2018 2:58:13 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The New York Times is so openly dishonest, even their crossword puzzles lie.)
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To: Lazamataz

I like meaty stuff. A little potatoes and gravy also.


25 posted on 07/27/2018 3:01:56 PM PDT by spintreebob
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To: logitech

Including plastic straws, especially the flexible kind.


26 posted on 07/27/2018 3:01:58 PM PDT by Calvin Locke
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To: Lazamataz

I’m good being on the list.


27 posted on 07/27/2018 3:04:34 PM PDT by Pelham (California, Mexico's socialist colony)
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To: Lazamataz

Ping me! Ping me!


28 posted on 07/27/2018 3:07:58 PM PDT by Jemian
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To: Lazamataz

Either way, I want on it!


29 posted on 07/27/2018 3:10:45 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: Lazamataz

Please do.

L


30 posted on 07/27/2018 3:11:32 PM PDT by Lurker (President Trump isn't our last chance. President Trump is THEIR last chance.)
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To: Lazamataz

All of them Laz


31 posted on 07/27/2018 3:13:19 PM PDT by TexasTransplant (Damn the Torpedoes! Full Speed Ahead!)
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To: FreedBird

Could we please have the DNC talking points.

Less People on foodstamps. Trump is taking food out of the mouths of pregnant moms and starving babies.

Less People on TANF-Temporary Assistance to Needy Families.
Trump has no heart.

While the unemployed are getting jobs, don’t forget that the welfare state (for the poor) is shrinking.

But what about welfare to Big AG?


32 posted on 07/27/2018 3:14:28 PM PDT by spintreebob
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To: Lazamataz

Yes.


33 posted on 07/27/2018 3:19:10 PM PDT by Carriage Hill (Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.)
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To: Lazamataz
Ping me 😀
34 posted on 07/27/2018 3:23:13 PM PDT by windcliff
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To: Lazamataz

Pinging works for me. Just keep on keepin’ on :-)


35 posted on 07/27/2018 3:23:33 PM PDT by Fast Moving Angel (It is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind.)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL, I couldn’t bear to miss any meaty articles from you, Laz! If I am not on your list, be sure to add me.

Hilarity ensues!


36 posted on 07/27/2018 3:25:23 PM PDT by rlmorel (Leftists: They believe in the "Invisible Hand" only when it is guided by government.)
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To: Lazamataz

All or none.

It’s like pizza - pick off what you don’t want.


37 posted on 07/27/2018 3:25:59 PM PDT by AF_Blue ("This place has got everything." - Jake Blues)
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To: Lazamataz

Yes


38 posted on 07/27/2018 3:36:01 PM PDT by ex91B10
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To: Lazamataz

Ping me ping me


39 posted on 07/27/2018 3:36:02 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: Lazamataz

Ping! “They’ll never get thru the Cajon to ya!”


40 posted on 07/27/2018 3:36:15 PM PDT by TaMoDee (The Pack will be back in 2018! Go Pack!!)
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