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Men are Human Beings too!
email | 11/9/2018 | unknown

Posted on 11/09/2018 1:47:38 PM PST by sodpoodle

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied

"Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?

DON'T LAUGH . . . HE WON!


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: parenting
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Not all men;(
1 posted on 11/09/2018 1:47:38 PM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

My wife and I had a terrible fight over child custody. We could not agree. Finally the court had to decide.

You see the problem was; I didn’t want custody of them damn brats and neither did she!

HER: “You take ‘em!”

ME: “Hell no, not me!”


2 posted on 11/09/2018 1:50:55 PM PST by Responsibility2nd
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To: Responsibility2nd

So what is your 1st responsibility? LOL!!!!


3 posted on 11/09/2018 1:52:55 PM PST by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

Some of us are. Liberals? Not so much.


4 posted on 11/09/2018 1:57:17 PM PST by Howie66 ("...Against All Enemies, Foreign and Democrat.....")
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To: sodpoodle

My post was purely fiction, but some days....

As any parent can tell ya, there are days when you wish there was a return policy.


5 posted on 11/09/2018 1:59:13 PM PST by Responsibility2nd
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To: Responsibility2nd

****My post was purely fiction****

and it was funny


6 posted on 11/09/2018 2:06:56 PM PST by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: Responsibility2nd
Birthday card from my sister to my Dad:

FRONT: Dad, when I was growing up, running away from home often seemed the best option.

INSIDE: But you never did. Thank you for staying.

7 posted on 11/09/2018 2:08:35 PM PST by CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC ("Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt" - Pr. Herbert Hoover)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Back in 2003 my 16 year old son suddenly died.

About 2 years later I was in a meeting with some of my coworkers. One of them who I did not know was ranting about their child and mentioned to the effect they wished they would just go away. I replied to her comment, “I’ll trade you.” The conversation abruptly ended.

The love for our children goes way beyond the grave. Most never realize it.


8 posted on 11/09/2018 2:33:47 PM PST by Dawggie
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To: Dawggie

I wish I knew what to say when situations like yours come up. But over time, I’ve learned not to say anything at all and simply respect your privacy and grief.


9 posted on 11/09/2018 2:40:00 PM PST by Responsibility2nd
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To: Dawggie

I’m so sorry for your loss


10 posted on 11/09/2018 3:10:35 PM PST by CottonBall (Thank you , Julian!)
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To: sodpoodle

#MenArePeopleToo


11 posted on 11/09/2018 3:11:41 PM PST by salmon76 (It's not the people who vote that count. It's the people who count the votes.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

That’s like the kid who asks his Dad if he’s adopted. Dad says, “Nope, we can’t find anyone to take you yet.”


12 posted on 11/09/2018 3:34:49 PM PST by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt, The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: Responsibility2nd

“As any parent can tell ya, there are days when you wish there was a return policy.”


I tried that at the hospital about 2 years after my son was born. They laughed and said that I needed to take a number.


13 posted on 11/09/2018 3:35:49 PM PST by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt, The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: Dawggie

Condolences on your loss.

I’m sure that you realize that everyone here is just joking, and that parents who say that in a moment of frustration are just blowing off steam. I’m glad that you have the presence of mind to bring them some perspective - because you are 100% right. Note that it also works both ways...I still miss my Dad and my grandparents, and no one complaining about theirs for any reason really gets much sympathy from me. Our loved ones are truly irreplaceable.


14 posted on 11/09/2018 3:39:00 PM PST by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt, The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: Responsibility2nd

....not to say anything....

Yup, best policy. Just hang close and say nothing.


15 posted on 11/09/2018 3:50:29 PM PST by Dawggie
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To: Ancesthntr

“I’m sure that you realize that everyone here is just joking”

Yes, I am well of the joking; the story is a way of me joining in, in a dark way. When I remember the incident now it brings a chuckle. The sober look on my friends faces and the clueless look on the unknown coworker brings up chuckle inside every time.


16 posted on 11/09/2018 3:57:00 PM PST by Dawggie
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To: Responsibility2nd
you wish there was a return policy

A few days after my second son was born, my first son, who was about 2-1/2, said, "Can we take Tom back to the hospital now? I've decided I don't want a brother."

17 posted on 11/09/2018 6:16:49 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Kindness and truth shall meet." Ps. 85:10)
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To: Responsibility2nd
"As any parent can tell ya, there are days when you wish there was a return policy."

Ha, ha.... When my daughter was in high school, she would get mad and run up to her room and slam her bedroom door as hard as she could close it. After the first few times, I told her that if I heard her slam her door I would take the door off the hinges for two days. For her junior year in high school, her door leaned against the wall more than it swung from its hinges. She is now married and is a school teacher.

18 posted on 11/09/2018 6:28:45 PM PST by fini
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To: Responsibility2nd; sodpoodle

You’re the Reason Our Kids are Ugly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFq6eZBS1iM


19 posted on 11/09/2018 6:43:50 PM PST by familyop ("Welcome to Costco. I love you." - -Costco greeter in the movie, "Idiocracy")
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To: familyop

hilarious


20 posted on 11/09/2018 8:23:56 PM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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