Posted on 12/30/2018 3:12:27 AM PST by sodpoodle
Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural highway, but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week.
So Farmer Jack called the local police station to complain, "You've got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens," he said to the local police officer.
"What do you want me to do?" asked the policeman.
I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day the policeman had the council erect a sign that said: SCHOOL CROSSING
Three days later Farmer Jack called the policeman and said, "You've still got to do something about these drivers. The school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!"
So again, they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.
That really sped them up. So Farmer Jack called and said, "Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
In order to get Farmer Jack off his back the policeman said, "Sure. Put up your own sign."
"The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the officer, so he called Farmer Jack, "How is the problem with the speeding drivers, Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed."
The policeman was really curious and thought he'd better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign may be something the police could use elsewhere to slow drivers down.
So he drove out to Farmer Jack's house.
His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign..........
'NUDIST COLONY'
'Slow down and watch for chicks!'
Every time I see a “Slow Children At Play” sign, I always say, “Who would say such terrible things about this neighborhood’s children? They can’t help it if they’re slow.” :-)
The slow children at play grow up to be slow men at work
What’s orange and sleeps four?
...a state truck
I thought they grew-up to be socialist libtards watching CNN?
I always wonder that, too.
...eh so so
"Why would you do that for retirement in your 60s (now 70s)?" our friends asked?
"Why not?" my wife and I replied.
Just another tick on the clock in the cycle of life.
:-)
As soon as I saw Farmer Jack....I knew it was you Sod...Love ya...Sac
Thanks
Regards
alfa6;-)
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: “Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?”
To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!”
LOL! Watch the new signs pop up!
A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the...”
“I didn’t ask for any details”, the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question, ...please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?”
Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road....”
The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie”.
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded.
“Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, “How are you feeling?”
“Now tell me, what the heck would you say?”
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