CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College (babylonBee)

Babylon Bee ^ | October 28th, 2019 | staff

[Rebelbase]

U.S.—Everyone praised the classified "Hero Dog" for taking down ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Everyone, that is, except CNN, who quickly searched through the dog's internet history and college yearbooks. Sure enough, CNN found a picture of the Hero Dog partying at obedience school. In the picture, the dog is seen sniffing a butt without consent.

"Oh yeah, good old [redacted]? He was nuts!" said one German Shepherd who attended Old Yaler Obedience School with the hero dog, according to a CNN report. "He was always sniffing any butt he could find. Cats, dogs, humans, you name it. He didn't have a preference. He identified as pansniffual."

Troubling reports from classmates indicate that the dog sniffed all these butts without consent. The dog wrote cryptic things in his college yearbook, apparently referring to different butt-sniffing maneuvers such as the Surprise Sniffarooski and the Canine's Triangle.

The dog has issued a statement: "I like butts. I've always liked butts. I still like butts, but I never sniff butts to the point of excess. Who's a good boy? I am."

Democrats immediately called for the dog to be court-martialed and for the death of Baghdadi to be overturned

[Rebelbase]

Non-consensual butt sniffing is a no no.

[South Dakota]

Oh please.

Dont tell me the dog humped some girls legs

[Equine1952]

Sniff a flower, no one calls you flowersniffer. Sniff one little butt, and you’re a buttsniffer the rest of your life. :)

[BenLurkin]

Perfect pup for Katie Hill

;-)

[DLfromthedesert]

🐕 Paging Christine Blasey-Pug

[SunkenCiv]

LOL!

[Bob434]

well, that is where they smuggle drugs a lot-

[digger48]

Did a lot of toilet drinking in those days too, I hear

[43north]

So this is a joe biden kind of dog then...

[BrexitBen]

Now, that’s a classic !

Jeff Zucker needs to read this, so he’ll see what a joke his operation has become.

[BradyLS]

He likes big butts and he cannot lie. The other doggies can’t deny.

[KevinB]

Old Yaler Obedience School

Now that's clever right there.

[Pontiac]

I heard he got arrested for public urination as well.

[pollywog]

Now, that’s a classic !

Jeff Zucker needs to read this, so he’ll see what a joke his operation has become.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Thank you for the laugh. I agree with letting Jeff Zucker read it..... he no doubt would publish it as fact!

[EagleUSA]

“...Perfect pup for Katie Hill...”

;-)

Hey, Omar would probably go for a dog as well...everything else goes :)

[jmacusa]

Homer Simpson’s definition of dog Heaven: “Where no dog can turn around without sniffing another dog’s butt!’’.

[Mark17]

Everyone, that is, except CNN, who quickly searched through the dog's internet history and college yearbooks. Sure enough, CNN found a picture of the Hero Dog partying at obedience school. In the picture, the dog is seen sniffing a butt without consent.

Impeach. 😁

[Boomer]

Are they talking about the dog or the CNN employees. Note all the brown noses among them.

[outofsalt]

If Obama was still running things this dog would be court martialed and sent to the pound for life.

[gcparent]

If Obama had a dog......