Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

5 Perfect Ways To Celebrate Trumpís Inevitable Acquittal
The Federalist, ^ | January 24, 2020 | David Marcus

Posted on 01/24/2020 9:18:26 AM PST by Kaslin

Acquittal Day is just around the corner, here are some tips to make the most of yours.


In a few days time, Americans, well, some Americans anyway will have cause for celebration as the impeachment of Donald J. Trump will be over and he will still be living at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Americans from coast to coast, or at least inside the coasts, will watch that Grinch grin curl over Mitch McConnell’s face and feel their hearts grow two sizes too big.

On this day when the gavel falls on the failed attempt to overturn the election of 2016, let us make merry. Let us cheer democracy and laugh at the media, with mirth let us hold the day special and celebrate its joy. But how? There are many ways that one might party the president’s win, but I humbly offer five suggestions to make the most of Acquittal Day.

1. Eat Fast Food

Among the many things that Trump has taught us is that fast food isn’t just for a quick bite, it can in fact play a role at much fancier fetes. So just as the president did when then national football champion Clemson came to the White House, pull out the fancy china and grab some White Castle.

POTUS loves fast food, whether you see him on Air Force One pounding a quarter pounder or wishing everyone a happy Cinco de Mayo with a delicious Trump Tower Taco Bowl, this is a president who eats like a real American. So ditch the diet, grab a bucket of chicken and stuff your face for freedom.

2. Laugh At CNN

I am generally not a strong proponent of schadenfreude, it’s a little too mean spirited for my taste, but as with everything there are special occasions when it may be embraced in moderation. On Acquittal Day, the airways of cable news networks like CNN and MSNBC will be filled with the best television content since the Seinfeld finale.

There you will be treated to anger at the Senate, disdain for Trump and his supporters, sadness at the sorry state of America, self adulation for being the bright shining light of truth surrounded by darkness, and finally, a stern-faced commitment that the fight is not over. It’ll be a hoot. Like listening the other town’s sports radio the day after yours beat theirs in the Super Bowl.

3. Buy A Gun

This isn’t what I’m going to be doing because I don’t considerer myself responsible enough to own a gun, like, I’d lose it or something, but for many people more organized than myself gun ownership brings a certain satisfaction. Go out to the shooting range, try a few out, see what grabs you.

What better way to celebrate the stunning defeat of a party that wants to take away the right to own guns than by buying a few. Free marketing advice for all the gun shops out there: Have a sale, an Acquittal Day Special.

4. Meme Meme Meme

Speaking of special, Acquittal Day is going to be a very special day on Twitter. Experts have predicted that the asinine hot take to normal tweet ratio will reach historic highs. Rather than try to keep up with the blather in real time, do yourself a favor and be prepared. Start looking for hysterical GIFs now, get those Photoshop skills working.

This kind of target rich environment likely won’t come again until Trump is reelected. So strike while the iron is hot. You can be sure the White House will. And maybe, just maybe if your pith is on target, you could get a retweet from the big guy.

5. Make A Perfect Phone Call

Have you ever made a perfect phone call? Not a good phone call, not an important or happy phone call, but a perfect phone call? Probably not. President Trump has perfect phone calls all the time without even trying; it’s just a well-developed natural gift. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t make our first perfect phone call to commemorate Acquittal Day.

Some things you’ll need are a phone, someone to call who also has a phone, and, actually that’s all you need. Since you’re not Donald Trump you’ll probably want to practice the call a few times, probably in front of a mirror. If you wish, you can combine this with fast food and place a perfect pizza order, you can even withhold funds until the pizza arrives.

However we choose to mark the occasion, Acquittal Day promises to be a great one for America. But we must also remember the lessons it brings, great lessons. But none so vital as this: Going forward you should carry on with your life as if nothing happened, because nothing did.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: acquittal; cnn; donaldtrump; fastfood; humor; impeachment; pmsnbc
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-31 next last

1 posted on 01/24/2020 9:18:26 AM PST by Kaslin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I’ll be wearing my red sweater vest to work.


2 posted on 01/24/2020 9:19:53 AM PST by AU72
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

TEMPORARY Acquittal.

The Left will be right back at it in short order. Anyone who thinks their obsessive jihad against Trump is over is delusional.


3 posted on 01/24/2020 9:24:17 AM PST by Starboard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Starboard

Let’s pray it is over in November. I did not think the GOP could take back the house, but the more they do this crap and the less they focus on their real job the more likely it becomes.


4 posted on 01/24/2020 9:26:48 AM PST by volunbeer (Find the truth and accept it - anything else is delusional)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

We may be surprised to see the Left learn that perpetual Impeachment is counterproductive for them.


5 posted on 01/24/2020 9:27:09 AM PST by G Larry (There is no great virtue in bargaining with the Devil)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

6. Go educate a few people and get them to vote for Trump in 2020 ... and vote the dems out of congress ...


6 posted on 01/24/2020 9:29:01 AM PST by bankwalker (Immigration without assimilation is an invasion.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Starboard

For all intents and purposes it will be over if they lose the House in 2020. They’ll continue to introduce bills of impeachment but they won’t have a simple majority to pass them. You can count on the media to make a big noise every time such a bill is introduced.


7 posted on 01/24/2020 9:32:35 AM PST by Reily
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: volunbeer

The Republican Party is not a strong party. It is a little more unified under Trump but that’s a surface thing. Deep down the party as a whole is weak and feckless.

Ronald Reagan couldn’t change the party. Neither will Trump in the long run.

The GOP is what it is. And for that reason, we are in desperate need of a new party that is truly committed to advancing the conservative agenda. That is something to pray for.


8 posted on 01/24/2020 9:34:56 AM PST by Starboard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Vote the democommies that have wasted so much time and money out of office at their next available race?! And any rinos that aided them.


9 posted on 01/24/2020 9:38:39 AM PST by rktman ( #My2ndAmend! ----- Enlisted in the Navy in '67 to protect folks rights to strip my rights. WTH?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Starboard

I understand your sentiments, but respectfully disagree a bit in that Trump has changed the GOP, many of the RINO’s left, and the national party seems to be far more organized, aggressive, and smart.

Trump is in a far different position going into November than we faced in the mid-terms when we had the mass exodus of the corporatist GOPe types. The democrats have done nothing with their time in congress beyond investigate, harass, and harangue. They will have a candidate at the top of the ticket with little appeal outside of deep blue urban areas and Trump is killing it.

Conventional wisdom says you are correct, but Trump has turned that on its head. He is gaining strength and momentum and his coattails will become longer because of it. Imagine what he could accomplish with both houses of congress!


10 posted on 01/24/2020 9:40:50 AM PST by volunbeer (Find the truth and accept it - anything else is delusional)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Starboard

Mad max has already indicated that there will be more articles if they fail on this attempt. Of course she won’t be writing any of them. CONgress. Turning dumbasses into millionaires for decades.


11 posted on 01/24/2020 9:40:59 AM PST by rktman ( #My2ndAmend! ----- Enlisted in the Navy in '67 to protect folks rights to strip my rights. WTH?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: G Larry
We may be surprised to see the Left learn that perpetual Impeachment is counterproductive for them.

They are emotionally arrested adolescents. I doubt that will sink in.


12 posted on 01/24/2020 9:41:59 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog (Patrick Henry would have been an anti-vaxxer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Starboard

I think long-term Trump will be founding a new party. But he can’t say that right now as he needs to keep people like McConnell and Lindsay Graham onboard.


13 posted on 01/24/2020 9:43:54 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog (Patrick Henry would have been an anti-vaxxer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin; All

Follow up by getting info like this out in your precinct during primary and October before Nov 3rd

Know whats going on click to http:freerepublic.com
ABC Stephanopolis tells producers to cut Trump defenders off debate;
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3810562/posts#2

How swamp family members got rich through corruption Schweizer book review; http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3809389/posts
New York Post ^ | January 18, 2020 | Biden’$ Bundle$ Posted on 1/18/2020, 3:31:07 PM by karpov http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3809208/posts More here; http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3809708/posts

Court Filing: Hunter Biden earned $156M from Ukraine corruption
One America News ^ | 12/25/19 | OAN News Posted on 12/26/2019, 8:52:00 PM by Blood of Tyrants http://www.freerepublic.com.focus/f-news/3803694/posts Hunter Biden is facing new accusations of money laundering from Ukraine .BREAKING: Pelosi’s Son Now Involved In Ukraine Scandal- Democrat Party In Shambles
Rightwingtribune.com ^ | Dean James & Dean Garrison at DC Clothesline October 4, 2019

Posted on 10/04/2019 12:21:05 PM PDT by Red Badger

Hunter Biden move over. Now Nancy Pelosi’s son may be looking to take center stage with the Ukraine controversy. Paul Pelosi, Jr. spent time in Ukraine in 2017. “BOOM: Nancy Pelosi’s son Paul Pelosi Jr. (who went to Ukraine in 2017) was a board member of Viscoil and executive at its related company NRGLab, which DID ENERGY Business in UKRAINE! And Nancy Pelosi appeared in a promotional video for the company!”

Speaker Pelosi’s Son Paid $180K annual by InfoUSA (No Experience necessary)12/29/2019, 7:03:41 PM · by Liz · 7 replies
theunionjournal.com ^ | December 29, 2019 | Carlos Christian
Shortly after Nancy Pelosi became Speaker, in 2007, Paul Pelosi Jr. was employed by InfoUSA at $180,000 a year as vice chairman for Strategic Planning. Paul Pelosi had a full-time day job as a mortgage mortgage officer for Countrywide Loans in California but didn’t report to work http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3804232/posts
Top Romney Adviser Worked With Hunter Biden On Board Of Ukrainian Energy Company
Federalist ^ | September 26, 2019 | Erielle Davidson Posted on 10/4/2019, 8:14:46 PM by cocoapuff Federalist—According to Burisma’s website, Joseph Cofer Black (Romney adviser) was appointed in February of 2017 and continues to serve on its board. The timelines would indicate that Black and Biden worked together at Burisma,

Burisma Paid Joe Biden $900,000 for Lobbying – Ukrainian MP
Ukraine News Agency ^ | October 9th 2019 Posted on 10/9/2019, 2:22:20 PM by Jacquerie

KYIV. Oct 9 (Interfax-Ukraine) – Former U.S. Vice President Joe Biden received $900,000 for lobbying activities from Burisma Group, Ukraine’s Verkhovna Rada member Andriy Derkach said citing investigation materials the amount of $900,000 were transferred to the U.S.-based company Rosemont Seneca Partners, open sources, in particular, the New York Times, is affiliated with Biden. payment for consultative services,”;http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3785536/posts

Obama gave Pearson Publishing $350 million to create Commoncore text and Pearson gave Obama a $65 million dollar book deal in return.
Investment Watch ^ | 12/8/19 | Unknown Posted on 1/5/2020, 9:43:50 PM by Blood of TyrantsThe Obamas’ $60m book deal has broken all records. From James Patterson to JK Rowling and Pope John Paul II, http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3805839/posts

Chelsea Clinton is worth big bucks — Here’s how she managed to make all that money Fox News ^ | 1/12/2020 | Tammy Bruce Posted on 1/12/2020, 3:33:01 PM by RightGeek New York Post reported back in 2015 was an estimated net worth of $15 million for the then-34-year-old. More recently, Barron’s, the finance newspaper, revealed that Chelsea Clinton has now reaped $9 million from a corporate board position. In 2011, while her mother was still secretary of state, she was appointed to IAC/Interactive, an Internet investment company. She receives an annual $50,000 retainer and $250,000 worth of restricted IAC stock units, according to Barron’s .Politico reported she was rewarded with $600,000 a year to do what ended up being occasional fluffy feature stories.. Vanity Fair crunched the numbers and found, after she parted ways with NBC News in 2014, she ended up making $26,724 per minute .
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3807636/posts


14 posted on 01/24/2020 9:46:55 AM PST by mosesdapoet (mosesdapoet aka L,J,Keslin posting here for the record hoping somebody might read and pass around)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

one way solemn with money could celebrate would be to buy billboards all across the US that say “Vindicated- AGAIN! Witch hunt failed miserably” with a huge picture of President Trump


15 posted on 01/24/2020 9:47:17 AM PST by Bob434
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: volunbeer

Conventional wisdom says you are correct

************

So does an inside view of the GOP. Some of my relatives worked inside various GOP offices in DC. I don’t think you would like the reality of what goes on and how beholden the GOP is to certain moneyied interests that have tremendous influence in the party.

Basically the GOP exists to support them, not us. Trust me on that. And make no mistake about it, the GOP considers (and resents) Trump the Outsider.


16 posted on 01/24/2020 9:48:19 AM PST by Starboard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: G Larry

Demon inspired lefties are too blinded by rage and hate that they can’t learn- they are blind to hte truth- all that matters to them is expressing their rage-


17 posted on 01/24/2020 9:49:41 AM PST by Bob434
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Buckeye McFrog

I think long-term Trump will be founding a new party.

**************

I hope and pray that is his long term plan. Otherwise I don’t see much reason for optimism as the GOP is never going to be a party of convictions that fights for the conservative agenda.


18 posted on 01/24/2020 9:51:03 AM PST by Starboard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin; All

19 posted on 01/24/2020 9:55:41 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Buckeye McFrog
"I think long-term Trump will be founding a new party."

I agree! My fondest wish. :)


20 posted on 01/24/2020 10:01:23 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-31 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson