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Michigan Governor Issues Additional COVID19 Regulations (Satire)
5/21/20 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 05/20/2020 8:17:20 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

Michigan Governor Wretched Gretchen Whitless issued additional COVID19 regulations relating to the dam failures and subsequent flooding.

Under the new regulations residents affected by the flooding will be required to remain in their homes (Safer At Home) until the flood waters recede to prevent virus spread in the affected communities. Residents will be allowed to climb onto their residence roof provided that they adhere to strict social distancing. The Michigan National Guard will be air dropping MREs to the affected residents. If virus cases do not increase in two weeks, residents will be allowed to leave their residences.

Residents departing their residences before the all clear is given will be shot as domestic terrorists.


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 05/20/2020 8:17:20 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Drier At Home


2 posted on 05/20/2020 8:22:41 PM PDT by tinyowl (A is A)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Anyone caught playing with themselves or with another will receive 20 lashes before the state mast, and pilloried in public for 3 days.

By executive order of Governess Gretchen Whitless .


3 posted on 05/20/2020 8:36:57 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama fascism:)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Should their homes float off their foundations they will be in violation of the no boating rule and will be sunk and prosecuted.


4 posted on 05/21/2020 2:19:43 AM PDT by outofsalt (If history teaches us anything, it's that history rarely teaches anything.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet
Elected to fix the dam roads and later blessed with rock star executive powers over a dam virus, she now finds herself in charge of a bureaucracy that couldn't approve of a dam improvement plan in 10 years for a 20 year old dam.

After nine weeks of the stay home order she's allowed the UP and northern lower to open at 50% capacity, an area where probably deer car accidents caused more deaths than the virus. All you can say is dam!

During a self inflicted economic meltdown WJR's Frank Beckmann has been taken off air for calling her "Frau Witmer" and being a virus skeptic. Again all you can say is DAM!

Sure, Gretchen DAM Witmer for vice president, take her, please!

5 posted on 05/21/2020 5:58:52 AM PDT by WhoisAlanGreenspan? (Keep looking up.)
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