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Biden: 'If You Don't Let Me Sniff Your Hair, You Ain't A Woman' (satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | May 22 2020

Posted on 05/22/2020 12:17:40 PM PDT by knighthawk

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a recent interview with a female representative of the segment of the human species identifying as female, Biden made a strong case for why all women everywhere should vote for him without question, or at least let him sniff their hair.

"Look, the thing, you know what it is," Biden said. "The womenfolk know what's at stake in this election. It's hairy simple. Just let me vote on you, or you vote for me, the vote, b-b-b-blond applesauce baloney. Simple choice. If you don't let me smell your hair, you ain't a woman!" Biden then sat back in his chair with a smile, having "totally nailed" another interview.

The female interviewer blinked a couple of times and followed up with some clarifying questions. "Mr. Vice President Biden, sir, if I may follow up on that, did you just say that if a woman doesn't let you stick your nose in her hair then she's not a real woman?"

"I b-didn't think I could possibly be more not clear!" Biden said with a perplexed look on his face. "If you don't let me personally walk up behind you unannounced and bury my shnozzola deep within your flowing locks of cascading curly hair, YOU AIN'T A REAL WOMAN! NO MALARKEY!"

Witnesses then walked in on Biden conversing with a Cabbage Patch doll who he mistook for a female interviewer. After hearing the news, feminists around the country responded by lining up outside Biden's house to get a complimentary hair sniff, thereby affirming their statuses as real women.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biden; humor; joeyfingers

1 posted on 05/22/2020 12:17:40 PM PDT by knighthawk
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To: knighthawk

Heheh. Love the BB.


2 posted on 05/22/2020 12:19:33 PM PDT by RoosterRedux
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To: knighthawk

Plugs. He makes me feel like a natural woman.


3 posted on 05/22/2020 12:25:54 PM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Dear Mr. Kotter, #Epsteindidntkillhimself - Signed, Epstein's Mother)
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To: knighthawk

The Babylon Bee is MARVELOUS.


4 posted on 05/22/2020 12:27:09 PM PDT by karnage
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To: knighthawk

Quick off the mark aren’t they.


5 posted on 05/22/2020 12:29:29 PM PDT by xp38
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To: knighthawk

Has anyone ever seen Biden sniffing a black woman’s hair or groping a black girl? I think this is much more telling about Biden’s blatant racism.


6 posted on 05/22/2020 12:30:02 PM PDT by AlaskaErik (In time of peace, prepare for war.)
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To: knighthawk

Now that right there is funny!


7 posted on 05/22/2020 12:30:58 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog (Patrick Henry would have been an anti-vaxxer)
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To: knighthawk

It would have been better if they replaced the word woman with 9 year old girl...


8 posted on 05/22/2020 12:35:37 PM PDT by Captainpaintball
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To: knighthawk

So much material. So little time....


9 posted on 05/22/2020 12:36:07 PM PDT by Magnum44 (My comprehensive terrorism plan: Hunt them down and kill them.)
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To: karnage

If Fox news was smart (they’re not) they’d start broadcasting all the news in a Babylon Bee format.
Liberals would tune in, in droves, and they’d start hearing what’s really going on, while never figuring out they’re being ridiculed.


10 posted on 05/22/2020 12:37:02 PM PDT by mumblypeg
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To: Captainpaintball

“If I don’t play with your breasts, you’re in puberty”?


11 posted on 05/22/2020 12:37:45 PM PDT by Retrofitted
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To: knighthawk

Perhaps we should again look at the photo of Mr. Biden with his hand on the state trooper’s knee.


12 posted on 05/22/2020 1:31:48 PM PDT by Norski
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To: knighthawk

I can think of an analogous phrase for Mayor Pete, but community standards keep me from explicitly stating it.


13 posted on 05/22/2020 2:06:14 PM PDT by Pearls Before Swine
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