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Laid-Off Journalist Trying To Learn To Code Horrified To Discover The Code Is Binary
The Babylon Bee ^
| December 2, 2021
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 12/03/2021 9:06:27 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
NEW YORK, NY—When Huffington Post writer Brutto Chalet discovered he was being let go earlier this year, he decided he was going to do what all Americans do when they lose their job: learn to code.
There's just one problem: he suddenly realized the code he was working in was binary.
"Excuse me, professor?" he said to his programming teacher. "Yeah, hi. Brutto Chalet, he/him. Did I hear you correctly? Are we only allowed to work in binary code? Are there non-binary options for us to work with?"
The teacher said that they would just be learning to program atop binary code systems in this particular class, as virtually all computer systems are written in binary.
"Wow -- that's really problematic, chief," Chalet said. After apologizing for appropriating the term "chief" from the Native Americans, Chalet excitedly realized that exposing the bigotry of the programming community would make for a great Huffington Post article. It was a few minutes before he remembered that he wasn't a journalist anymore, though.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Education; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; binary; coding; genders; journalist; learntocode; pronouns; satire
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I read the title twice...and became suspicious...But I admit it...the Bee almost stung me.
2
posted on
12/03/2021 9:09:44 PM PST
by
Sacajaweau
( )
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
LOL I get the Bee’s daily emails and I damn near posted this one earlier. So I’m glad you did, thanks!
3
posted on
12/03/2021 9:17:50 PM PST
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I have a co-worker who is very much woke, nice guy otherwise, great engineer, but we love messing with him. We were starting a conference call some months ago and all going around introducing ourselves, and he said, "Hi everybody, I'm Joe Baggadonuts,
he/him,..." and you could hear the muffled snickers.
In another context I triggered him a little by introducing myself as "Dayglored, His Majesty/Exalted Leader", but he's a good sport and laughed.
4
posted on
12/03/2021 9:25:00 PM PST
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
5
posted on
12/03/2021 9:28:22 PM PST
by
NetAddicted
( Just looking)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The Bee is Gold.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
very funny but code isn’t binary just the bits at the bottom.
To: NetAddicted
6502 Assembler - MAE 6502 Assembler to be precise! (supports 80-column green screen display card).
8
posted on
12/03/2021 9:55:12 PM PST
by
The Duke
(Search for 'Sydney Ducks' and understand what is needed.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Hexadecimal was way too kinky for me.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
He has a problem with binary, wait until he sees hexadecimal. LOL
10
posted on
12/03/2021 11:37:30 PM PST
by
higgmeister
( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Sometimes they are too close. Got me this morning.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I signed up for Babylon Bee emails and they are hilarious.
The good thing is that with a few lines, they can brighten your day.
The scary part is satire is so close to the actual daily craziness we witness constantly.
When you can't tell fact from satire the world is spinning out of control.
12
posted on
12/04/2021 5:16:21 AM PST
by
USS Alaska
(NUKE ALL MOOSELIMB TERRORISTS, NOW.)
To: kvanbrunt2
... code isn’t binary just the bits at the bottom.
* * *
1011000111 010101 00101 1100011010
01110 1100011. 101, 010011, 01110101
101100-01110 10101? 00101011: 00011010,
011101, and 101101? 0101 00101 01100011
10110001110101010.
13
posted on
12/04/2021 5:40:14 AM PST
by
poconopundit
(Hard oak fist in an Irish velvet glove: Kayleigh the Shillelagh we salute your work!)
To: Billthedrill
Hexadecimal was way too kinky for me.
* * *
LOL! Excellent!
14
posted on
12/04/2021 6:00:28 AM PST
by
poconopundit
(Hard oak fist in an Irish velvet glove: Kayleigh the Shillelagh we salute your work!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The Babylon Bee deserves awards, many awards.
15
posted on
12/04/2021 6:02:44 AM PST
by
liberalh8ter
(The only difference between flash mob 'urban yutes' and U.S. politicians is the hoodies.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Code is not inherently binary. Our modern computer systems use binary-mode calculations almost exclusively. This was not always the case. For example, there have been computers that use decimal calculations. The IBM System/360 et al had decimal operations as part of its instruction set. The IBM 1620 went further: the computer nicknamed "The CADET -- Can't Add, Doesn't Even Try" didn't calculate, it exclusively used table lookup for its operations, which means that mathematicians could do calculations in a variety of base notations -- I knew one PhD who explored calculations in base seven.
Further, the underlying electronics did not have to be two-state, or "binary". Some research computer were built that used trinary, or three-state, circuits: 0, 1, and 2; or in the basic theory -1, 0, 1. Not very useful, as it turns out.
Calculating machines (pre-electronics) in wide use even today do their calculations in base 10. You see this in handle-powered adding machines even today, although these tend to be hard to find in any store.
16
posted on
12/04/2021 7:26:03 AM PST
by
asinclair
(Political hot air is a renewable energy resource)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
There are 10 kinds of people.
17
posted on
12/04/2021 7:29:50 AM PST
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
18
posted on
12/04/2021 7:31:13 AM PST
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
There are 10 kinds of people. 1 that knows binary, and 1 that doesn’t.
19
posted on
12/04/2021 8:50:45 AM PST
by
Organic Panic
(Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
To: asinclair
I suppose that the old-fashioned manual cash registers in the grocery stores worked in base 10, too.
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