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Why Don't The Players Just Run Around Everyone? -- Op-Ed By Your Wife
The Babylon Bee ^ | February 13, 2022 | Your Wife

Posted on 02/14/2022 7:00:19 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I've been watching football for a considerable amount of time -- the last three hours, more specifically -- and something doesn't quite add up for me.

The players often take the ball and dive straight up the middle, where there are other, bigger players ready to stop them. But this is what gets me -- there's a ton of space all around the players they could use to just run around all the bad guys.

What gives?

It seems like a surefire strategy to take the ball and run where there AREN'T opposing players, instead of taking the ball and running where there ARE opposing players. It seems really basic. And I'm just not sure why the teams haven't realized this yet.

It's probably just because they haven't had the input of a smart, strong, independent woman like me. But no matter what the reason, the teams would score way more goals if they'd just run around everyone. I've got a call in with the manager of both the Bengals and the Rams. I'll update this post for you guys if they get back to me.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Outdoors; Sports
KEYWORDS: football; oped; players; satire
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1 posted on 02/14/2022 7:00:19 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Got stung by the Bee yet again.


2 posted on 02/14/2022 7:02:55 PM PST by SkyDancer ( I make airplanes fly, what's your super power?)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Actually, the women around here can educate a lot of girly lefty men about the X's and O's of football. LOL

3 posted on 02/14/2022 7:04:17 PM PST by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Sounds exactly like my sweetheart— “if they don’t want them to score, why don’t they just stop him from passing?”


4 posted on 02/14/2022 7:05:17 PM PST by hinckley buzzard ( Resist the narrative.)
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To: hinckley buzzard

Ever try to explain a double switch to someone who just started watching baseball?


5 posted on 02/14/2022 7:07:56 PM PST by LukeL
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I have thought the same thing myself. I think running up the middle and being stopped cold accounts for probably, at least, 50 percent of the effort. You would think they would learn. I watched a high school football games last fall, and it was absolutely amazing.

Not to mention the punt return, where the receiver will invariably run toward the largest concentration of opposing players.


6 posted on 02/14/2022 7:09:32 PM PST by odawg
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To: SkyDancer

https://bestbetusa.com/sports/nfl/donald-sacks-joe-to-claim-second-super-bowl-for-rams/ Prophetic?


7 posted on 02/14/2022 7:10:37 PM PST by Maudeen (PSALM 91 - GOD'S ANTIDOTE FOR THE CORONAVIRUS & VACCINE)
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To: hinckley buzzard

“Oh my God! They shot him!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PA6-YbNFyA


8 posted on 02/14/2022 7:14:16 PM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Also, when they pass the ball, why does the receiver run to where the opposing players are when there are so many open areas on the field. Why don’t they run to the open areas?


9 posted on 02/14/2022 7:15:02 PM PST by Newtoidaho (All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Why do they want all those big guys to play?

Seems like if you had a bunch of little fast guys you could outrun the fat dudes.


10 posted on 02/14/2022 7:21:14 PM PST by seowulf (Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Sounds exactly the way my wife sounded when she asked me to teach her how to watch football.
The gal stuck with it and learned a lot. Never missed a game. She turned into a football fanatic.


11 posted on 02/14/2022 7:22:11 PM PST by oldvirginian (So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
What gives?

Linebackers...they don't give, they deliver!
12 posted on 02/14/2022 7:25:05 PM PST by Tommy Revolts
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Ex girlfriend thought the pitcher was awesome. He could hit the bat nearly every throw.


13 posted on 02/14/2022 7:28:07 PM PST by Islander7 (There is no septic system so vile, so filthy, the left won't drink from to further their agenda.)
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To: odawg
I think running up the middle and being stopped cold accounts for probably, at least, 50 percent of the effort.

Short yardage plays rely on timing. If the front line can produce a gap and the running back can hit it in time you typically gain 3 to 4 yards. No gap and the play likely gives you a 1 yard loss. so on a percentage basis you gain 2 yards per play.

Now the truly great running backs can tell if the gap will be there and have the peripheral vision to see other openings. They can make a spit second decision and many times capitalize. I have to believe in this era of statistics and computer models this type of running back is discouraged by the coaching staff. It may also be that too much ad libbing encourages other players to try it that don't have the talent to pull it off.

The Babylon bee again hits to close to reality

14 posted on 02/14/2022 7:36:10 PM PST by stig
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To: Tell It Right

I’m pretty sure Da Bee doesn’t know many FReeper women.


15 posted on 02/14/2022 7:51:22 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I stood behind this monster at an OBX Macdonalds. Im 6’5” and this guy was massive. He ordered, turned around to leave... Dave Butz.

I stood next to a NFL running back once, he was big too.


16 posted on 02/14/2022 8:24:03 PM PST by Clutch Martin (The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Can you say XIX ?


17 posted on 02/14/2022 8:32:10 PM PST by A strike (Public Health 21st century murder by government. DoktorFauxiMengeleGates to a TerreHaute gurney now)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Why is the guy holding the ball the only one who gets to score? Seems like the other 21 ought to object to this lack of equity and inclusion. I sense a lawsuit.


18 posted on 02/14/2022 8:38:11 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: A strike

Can you say XIX ?
-
zix?


19 posted on 02/14/2022 8:50:37 PM PST by Repeal The 17th (Get out of the matrix and get a real life.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

This is the Bee, so yeah.

But if the question were asked by a serious person, the answer would be, have you seen the guys who defend those open spaces?


20 posted on 02/14/2022 11:29:15 PM PST by lurk (u)
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