Posted on 04/29/2022 9:07:42 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new report filed by the U.S. Department of Transportation finds that each and every time a motorist gets excited about a perfect parking spot at the front of a parking lot it turns out to be a "friggin' motorcycle."
"Hey, here's one—GAH! A FRIGGIN' MOTORCYCLE!" shouted Norman Dodgson, a volunteer who agreed to drive with researchers for six months. "I hate this! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!"
The phenomenon—dubbed "Interstitial Motor Mirage" by researchers—occurs in crowded parking lots when drivers are most desperate for a space. Because motorcycles don't sit back in a space as far as full-sized vehicles the spot can appear empty and ripe for the taking.
In a majority of cases, the driver will not notice the space is occupied until after they've bragged to other vehicle occupants about how they just found a perfect spot before realizing their mistake and exclaiming: "GAH! A FRIGGIN' MOTORCYCLE!"
According to researchers, Interstitial Motor Mirage affects all drivers, even other motorcycle owners.
"UGGGGGGH!" wailed Charlie "Dasher" Bowman, a tough guy on a Harley Davidson who often shopped at Bed Bath & Beyond. "Another friggin' motorcycle! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"
Drivers who think they see a great parking spot and have their hopes immediately crushed are susceptible to fits of road rage, heart arrhythmia, and even death, say experts. In fact, DoT has filed a supplemental report on the researchers who died during the study.
In some rare cases, smaller vehicles can also cause Interstitial Motor Mirage—particularly the 1997 Geo Metro.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Or people parking over the line.
People who take 1 hour 45 minutes to BACK into a space.
People who take 1 hour 45 minutes to BACK OUT OF a space.........................
Since covid:
“Picking up online orders only parking” spaces
GET OVER IT ALREADY
I always park WAY out. Too many door-dinging yahoos upfront. I’m often parking near nice vehicles that have adopted the same strategy.
Besides, I need the exercise.
I just park there. What are they going to do? (pick up online order parking spaces)
Oh...the Bee. 🤡
Some dopey woman trying to park in a hurry in one of the nondescript bar-of-soap looking cars knocked over my Duc Supersport that was currently occupying the spot. The thing is bright red, how do you miss that? Well, she didn’t. B*tch fled the scene before I could get her plate number.
A shopping cart, you can move.
LOL...I stew just looking at the stupid social distancing footprint stickers you see on the ground for Covid. You know they are never going to be scraped off!
I guess I better start railing at dandelions or something!
Good Gosh. I wonder how much we paid for this study. Gotta be millions.
Hahahahahahahahahahah! THE BEE!
I park in the yellow striped area between the parking spaces and the store. That’s where the light poles are. Too small for a car, but perfect for a motorcycle.
Gotcha!
Most people spend more time driving in circles looking for the perfect spot, than it takes to just park out deeper and walk into the store. The whole country is replete with lazy slobs.
The ones in my grocery were removed a few months after they were put down. Nobody followed them anyway, and nobody insisted we do.
little electric cars, the size of a pregnant roller skate.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.