Posted on 09/11/2022 4:13:04 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Law of Mechanical Repair- your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
Law of Biomechanics- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law ((If it can go wrong ~ it will)) of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Related to the Law of Missed Turns -- if, despite your GPS frequent reminders, you miss your turn, and need to turn around, your previously empty highway will suddenly become full of fast-moving vehicles and there will be no place nearby to turn around.
Law of Changing Traffic Lights - If you are trying to complete a short task in your car while sitting at a red light, the light will always change to green mid-task. If you are not trying to complete a short task and are in a hurry, the light will remain red an inordinate amount of time.
Law of the Grocery Store: Within 10 seconds of entering an empty aisle, it will fill with other customers blocking your access to the item(s) you want.
Gunbsmiths’ Law of Springs - A compressed spring, accidentally released, will achieve escape velocity and will be found in orbit.
Law of Mechanical Reproduction: if you disassemble and reassemble an item enough times, you will have enough left over parts to make a new item.
Law Of Stupid: Stupidity is a self-correcting problem.
First corollary: Stupidity is self-correcting only if stupidity is left alone.
Second corollary: Attempts to correct stupidity only increase the depth and duration of stupidity.
I see that one all the time. Here's a related phenomenon.
Just yesterday, I headed to the dairy aisle to get some yogurt. There was only one other person in that aisle...on his phone standing with his cart directly in front of the exact brand and size of the yogurt I wanted. It happens A LOT.
My three laws of plumbing:
You don’t own the right tool
You will get wet
When clearing a clogged toilet, the first step is to close your mouth, safety glasses optional but recommended.
From my BIL who is a retired plumber for decades:
1. SFDH
2. Don’t bite your fingernails.
For every sock the dryer loses, a random Tupperware lid appears in the kitchen.
Law of the Rings. It deals with the probability of a ring of phone or doorbell.
It’s all depending on two factors, E (the extension or distance you are from the ring source, which gets squared if you took the stairs), and A (your age, which is also squared if you took the stairs or are committed to any activity in the bathroom).
Law of Stairs is about the proximity to the last step up or down, where you are most likely to have forgotten your mission and most likely to remember what you forgot to bring with you on the journey.
Law of Orphan Footwear. This applies to shoes as well as socks, I have three shoes with missing mates and I’m not even 30 years old, so this is not an age-related thing. Yes I have looked everywhere, except in the Last Place, for which there is a well-known Law.
5 minutes after you finish doing the all the dishes, a spoon will appear in the sink.
“Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.”
And I thought that only happened to me.
No, it is a universal thing!
The Law of Screwdrivers: If you need a flat-tip, the only screwdrivers in the drawer (up to 40) will be a Phillips. And the inverse Law is also true.
Ten foot rule: the cell phone will not ring unless you are ten feet or more away from it, and the likelihood of it ringing increases with the amount of glop your hands are in or your presence on the toilet...
“Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.”
Perpetual Motion by Kimberly Miner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTQ93k5tlXg
This little 1 1/2 minute video was a project done by an RIT student as a commentary of RIT and its emphasis on technology. She’s poking fun at RIT, and the video is worth the time spent watching it.
I had one of those! I wish I could get another one.
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