Posted on 09/26/2022 4:00:32 AM PDT by servo1969
GAINESVILLE, FL — Despite installing a new "Trinity Wishbone" offense during fall camp, PragerU has once again found itself dead last in the NCAA after a 94-0 drubbing at the hands of the Florida Gators.
"I don't know where it went wrong. We had a really great week of practice, all in easily digestible, five-minute chunks" said Mr. Prager in a post-game interview. "But at the end of the day, I'm 74 years old and no amount of knowledge about the benefits of free-market capitalism could help me avoid the 23 sacks we gave up today."
PragerU had reportedly entered the season with high hopes after acquiring a haul of new talent through the transfer portal. "We thought Candace Owens would be a great addition at wideout," said Mr. Prager. "And the first play, we threw that slant to her - she was like a beautiful football goddess out there, stretching out for the catch. But sadly, there was a 250 pound linebacker waiting for her, and the doctors said it would be easier to just name the bones in her body that aren't currently broken."
Although Florida outgained PragerU by 937 yards, the Prager team still felt like there were some positives to take away from the game. "Half the team is currently hospitalized, and they had to call the game in the second quarter because we ran out of players, but I'm looking on the bright side," said Mr. Prager. "Will Witt really got into their kicker's head when he came out in a Mexican poncho and fake mustache. Plus, being laid up for the next eight weeks while my ruptured spleen heals will give us a terrific opportunity to discuss the dangers of socialized medicine."
At publishing time, the NCAA updated its standings to show that PragerU was in fact now second-to-last, narrowly beating out Trump University.
I’m sure Dennis is laughing at this.
Stephan F Austin just recently beat a team 98-0.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/game/_/gameId/401420864
They’d be guaranteed to beat Texas State by three touchdowns....
I sure hope our new AD, whoever that may be, puts them on our schedule soon. At least we would have one additional win.
War Eagle!
This article lost all credibility right from the start. As a UF alum and lifelong Gator I can categorically guarantee you, the current Gator Defense could not shut out anybody - even if they were playing against air.
Truth
Auburn-Missouri set the SEC back 20 years.
Prager U could beat any team from Colorado.
Well maybe not Air Force.
Alabama scheduled themselves to play them twice next year. First two games and @ Bama.
But at least we didn’t give up 45 to Middle Tennessee.
It’s okay, PU got their cupcake paycheck. That’s all that matters. It will help them build their program.
Will this season ever end?
Dennis Prager was also overheard saying “his team looks forward to playing Hillsdale College even though they have a classic defense”. ;-)
Well that’s true. The only bright spot for scUM is that nobody was there to watch it.
Ahahahahahahaha!
Love it, a change-up from The Bee!!!!!
LOL!
I had some scUM fan blaming the low attendance on Hurricane Ian. I then pointed out that same stadium was packed yesterday for the Dolphins game.
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