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Board Room Demons Applaud As CEO Satan Suggests Rebranding Child Sacrifice As 'Women's Healthcare'
The Babylon Bee ^ | October 3, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/04/2022 8:33:41 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

HELL — Board room Demons erupted with thunderous applause and praise for their CEO Satan as he pitched another sinister idea of rebranding the dated term "child sacrifice" with "abortion."

"Ok everyone, listen up and write this down. I've got another genius idea. It may be one of my most twisted, heinous schemes yet. We take the term 'child sacrifice' and replace it with the word 'abortion' instead!" said the Prince of Darkness with an evil grin as he was met with cheers and vigorous clapping.

"Our most recent demonic focus groups have revealed that people are less likely to kill their unborn when they think that they are participating in a satanic act of worship like child sacrifice. So icky, pagan sounding terms like 'child sacrifice' are out and 'abortion' is in!" said Satan with a wicked cackle.

According to sources, all the board members unanimously agreed to Satan's proposal. The Demon executives hope that this change will lead many humans to murder their babies without a second thought.

"If we want as many abortions as possible, then we definitely don't want people to think of themselves as the pagans of old who callously sacrificed their children in hopes of a demon giving them a better harvest or a life, " said Moloch. "We want them to think of themselves as selfless and even virtuous. We want them to choose to ‘do what's right in their own eyes'."

At publishing time, Satan called an emergency board meeting to propose replacing the nasty words "chemical castration" and "child mutilation" with "gender-affirming care."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: abortion; boardmeeting; children; childsacrifice; demons; lgbt; satan; satire; transgender; womenshealth

1 posted on 10/04/2022 8:33:41 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Ah ... an old story from the 70s.


2 posted on 10/04/2022 8:36:07 AM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: Rurudyne

Most kids these days don’t read history back that far. We’re lucky if they know what happened in 2001.


3 posted on 10/04/2022 8:39:21 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I wish “smart resume” would work for the real world so I could FF through the Burden admin BS.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

That last paragraph though. That’s gotta sting!!!


4 posted on 10/04/2022 8:39:38 AM PDT by Mathews (It's all gravy, baby!)
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To: FamiliarFace

It isn’t just kids.

Recently I was reading through some century old volumes of The Rudder magazine looking for ideas for a boat and motor when I came across something called a Twice-Two engine where a guy cleverly split up the 4-cycle engine into two cylinders: one for intake and compression and the other for power stroke and exhaust ... with the upshot being that as one fuel-air charge was being expended the next was being prepared ... kinda like pipelining an instruction on a CPU to put a current spin on it.

Because the compression cylinder never sees the heat of combustion it stays cooler and doesn’t have to work as hard to compress a charge (also effectively perfect scavenging) AND the port between the two cylinders acts like a jet under pressure completely mixing the fuel-air so there is no unburnt fuel even with a lowly carbureator.

Then I come to find out a fellah has claimed to invented the same thing again. Only he’s using a compressor with it.


5 posted on 10/04/2022 9:01:22 AM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Democrats love to butcher babies and rape children.


6 posted on 10/04/2022 10:38:16 AM PDT by stinkerpot65 (Global warming is a Marxist lie. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The Bee zapped the Dems again!!


7 posted on 10/04/2022 6:41:32 PM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Defund the FBI, the American Stasi..)
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