Posted on 10/06/2022 7:06:38 AM PDT by servo1969
GREEN BAY, WI — Psychologists and sex experts are flocking to Wisconsin to study a local man who claims to have a bizarre fetish for settling down with one woman in a committed, loving relationship in the bonds of marriage forever and ever.
"Yeah, I don't know man, I just really love being married to my beautiful wife and I think I'll stay that way," said the disgusting weirdo.
Already scientists are speculating as to what could cause such behavior in an adult human male.
"I've seen some really sick stuff in my day, but this might take the cake," said Dr. Xindrie Bruzkink, a behavioral therapist from USC. "We need to find out what on earth drives this fringe marriage kink. One sex partner? Of the opposite sex? FOREVER? We can't let this become normalized."
Sources also confirmed the man and his wife share a breeding fetish, planning to have more than the doctor-recommended 2 kids, as well as a fetus fetish since they don't plan to abort any of them.
At publishing time, several scientists studying the couple confirmed they also had a happiness fetish.
Guilty!
I dood it! I been doing it for almost 39 years! I am so weird!
This can’t be The Bee because no satire detected.
Today’s Satire = Tomorrow’s Reality
Sick twisted freak. Why isn’t he grooming several boys to transition to be females for a polyamorous and uncommitted relationship with interspersed one night stands with gay men and barn yard animals?
“As a gay man, Dan Savage’s experience has taught him monogamous relationships are far from the right fit.”
https://medium.com/an-idea/the-key-to-making-open-relationships-work-ad21c1dd20b
“GREEN BAY, WI”
Love it. Love The Bee. But, it’s NOT Aaron Rodgers. ;)
In Huxley’s “Brave New World”, ‘marriage’ and other word’s like ‘mother’, ‘father’ and ‘siblings’ were OBCENITIES.................
39 years in March for us as well. Plus I kept the snake in the cage until after the wedding. How weird is that?
Good pickup.
Couldn’t possibly Be the Bee.
Damn newlywed. 48.5 and counting. Congrats.
We’re quickly heading there.
From your link...
“But if polygamy is meant to signify freedom, is it not antithetical there be so many rules? Not if one considers the aim of such rules is so neither of the two in any relationship feel superseded or threatened in kind by the new partner; so they may feel they are still a priority in the eyes of their loved one: I may sleep with him or her, but you’re the one I come back home to and share my life with. This assurance will go a long way in making the relationship work.”
Yep, nothing says love and trust and intimacy like coming home late at night and telling your “partner” what a wonderful time you had screwing someone else.
My daughter is in the most bizarre relationship. She has four children, they all have the same father and she’s married to their father. It gets even stranger. It’s the first marriage for both of them and neither has any other children from previous relationships.
Perv!/s (I did, too)
Burn him, burn him!
He turned me into a newt.
And bringing who-knows-what-new-diseases to "share" with the main partner and possibly with "adjacent" children in the house.
Incidentally, I recently read that a majority of homosexual men who contract HIV contract it from their “committed” partner. How does that even happen?
Wow! I’ve only been with my 1 spouse of the opposite sex for 45 years! Married 38!
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