Posted on 11/01/2023 10:16:08 AM PDT by servo1969
ROCKFORD, IL — After tragedy struck a local family last night, local dad Jordan Duckworth bore the unenviable task of notifying his children that a burglar had broken into their home and stolen all of the Reese's peanut butter cups they had received while trick-or-treating.
"I'm sorry, kids. Our house was robbed last night," Mr. Duckworth said sadly after gathering his kids in the kitchen this morning. "Fortunately, the thief didn't take your mother's jewelry, our television, or the bar of pure gold we keep on the coffee table for some reason. Kids, I'm afraid he only took…your Reese's peanut butter cups."
The Duckworth children bowed their heads in sorrow. "Did…did he take all of them?" asked the youngest, Jack. "Yes, son, I'm afraid he did," Mr. Duckworth replied. "He probably started with just one or two, but he couldn't stop himself, and before he realized it, he had stolen all of them. The important thing is that we're all safe and no one was hurt… right? Right??"
"I guess so," said daughter Elsie. "It's kind of weird that he only took the Reese's peanut butter cups, though, isn't it? I mean, he didn't take anything valuable and he even left the full-size Mr. Goodbar we got last night. He must not like them -- just like you, Dad."
"Yes, sweetheart," Mr. Duckworth said. "Life is full of odd little coincidences. Now, eat this KitKat and let's just forget all about this sad episode."
At publishing time, Mr. Duckworth declined to comment on why his pillowcase was covered in chocolate.
This crime happens more often than people realize.
Sam criminal comes to my house every year, the Halloween Goat.
So much so that we would get her a whole bag just for herself on Christmas and her birthday.
She would eat one a day, no more.
A serial thief! Hit my house too!
😂 Those were my “Dad tax” last night! 2 of them anyway.
I lived in Rockford for years. This is definitely a thing. It happened in my own home.
I usually go for the Snickers first.
ROFL
I hate those kinds of thiefs! Their favorite is Cheerio's...
Oh, serial...
The Bee must know my Dad...
LOL
Fun fact - a 5 gallon glass jar can hold about 40 lbs of Reese’s Pieces. At my current rate of consumption it should last about 5 years.
“The Claw!”
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