Posted on 02/24/2024 11:22:18 AM PST by Navy Patriot
NEW YORK — Local couple Marty and Shelly Cross have been officially charged with fraud after listing their home for $499,000 when it ultimately sold for slightly less.
"The Cross family knowingly and willfully tried to get a good deal when they sold their home," explained Attorney General Letitia James. "The State of New York hereby assesses the Cross family a fine of $50 million for their egregious actions. If they cannot pay by tomorrow, we will begin kidnapping their children to hold as ransom."
According to sources, the bank had performed an appraisal and actually approved a loan for the buyer at $499,000, though ultimately after negotiations the selling price was slightly less. "Yes, the bank agreed to the price set by the Cross family," admitted James. "That doesn't mean Mr. and Mrs. Cross did not commit fraud! Banks, as we all know, are poor and helpless and at the mercy of whatever amount of money people ask for. The feeble, powerless bank is the victim here, having been duped by the Cross family - and they will pay!"
The Cross family were reportedly caught completely off guard by the charges, believing they had submitted a reasonable asking price. "All we did was ask for what we wanted! No one had to agree to it. I had no idea asking for the price you wanted for your home was illegal," said Shelly. "I have to be frank, I just don't quite see how our negotiating the price with the seller and the bank did fifty million dollars of damage to the State of New York. I'm really struggling to make the connection."
At publishing time, Letitia James had put up billboards across New York with the faces of the Cross family and how much they owed in fines.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Almost got me.
Made the punchline more sweet when I finally saw the byline.
Wow, the Bee has been on point of late.
Indeed.
I was about ready to verbally yell.
I have to be honest....it did get me until I began to look at it.
The” B” must stand for “Biting!”
Slap a billion dollar fine on them.
The Bee is on our side, now.
Agree!
Yup. I made this point several weeks ago. Trump's valuation price for his loan was his ASKING PRICE.
The bank was of course free to evaluate Trump's property and to valuate it as they saw fit.
It's called a free market.
Government has no damn business setting valuation prices.
These people are communists.
I remember you did!
Using the word, “priceless,” will cost you a penalty of several $100 million in the state of New York.
Did get me.
Ba da bing
just waiting for the property tax fiasco that will ensue over the NEW taxable value of Mara lago. popcorn is ready.
Got This Guy.
Sadly.
LOL
James will be prosecuting “the world’s best pizza” soon.
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