Bloom County had a comic strip about ordering a Whopper without a bun years ago. Guess humor has become reality yet again.
And the Atkins fad roars on.
The healthfulness of Whoppers aside, would I be alone if I said the whole Atkins craze was a crock?
Ordering a pizza in 2004
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
May I have your..."
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order take out."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, oh, yeah, hold on,
um, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at
1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's
494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance
is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a
couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high
cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't
allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "Darn. What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt
Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean
Recipes' from your local library last week, sir.
That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two
family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife
and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it,
heh, heh, comes $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have
to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its
limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash
before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking
account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have
the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll
be about 45 minutes. If you're in a hurry you might
want to pick 'em up while you're out getting
the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
little awkward."
Customer: "How the heck do you know I'm riding a
bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car
payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's
paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."
Customer:
"@#%/$@&?#!" Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir.
You've already got a July 2016 conviction for cussing
out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "No, nothing, oh yeah, don't forget the two
free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the
pizzas."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary
clause prevents us from offering free soda to
diabetics.
Fry Gal Emeritvs PING.
OK. So now, how do you hold on to the thing when driving? That is HALF of the bun's function! I suppose I could speer it with the fork and knaw on it when driving!
ping...
Funny, but I've been eating burgers like this for YEARS. My family thinks I'm nuts because of it. :) Very cool.
I have celiac disease. I wonder what the bunless burgers will be like. And if I can get salad instead of fries ::)) YEAH!!
I've taken to ordering MCDs double cheeseburgers. Normally they put the cheese between the patties and the bun which makes removing the bun hard. So I request they put the cheese between the patties. Granted, it's not 100% sirloin, but for just a buck it gets the job done in a pinch.