Posted on 03/02/2005 6:21:51 AM PST by COUNTrecount
In the immortal words of Dogbert, I dream of a world in which I can buy alcohol, tobacco, and firearms at the same drive-in window, and use them all before I get home from work.
BEA UOMP
The ATF wouldn't be nearly so bad if they required agents to appreciate alcohol, tobacco and firearms. :D
We have a winner!
This is true.
Oh yes, and as soon as they get out of prison (and they will) they will have their right to vote reinstated--unless it is given to them before they get out of prison. Please excuse me, I just came from the felons should be able to vote thread.
good point
[[The typical liberal "I was born a victim" response. He doesn't say, "I wish I was armed," or even "I wish I could have stopped him from shooting my fiancée." He doesn't even say, "I wish this scumbag parolee had still been in prison where they belonged."]]
Well, you know what they say: "A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged" (in this case murdered) by the same criminals that liberals love to defend and make excuses for. Hopefully we can now add another converted liberal to our ranks.
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Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms Reaches Trade Agreement with Food & Drug Administration.
WASHINGTON, DC--The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms and the Food & Drug Administration reached a formal trade agreement Monday. Under the terms of the deal, the ATF will provide the FDA with alcohol, tobacco and firearms in exchange for equal value in food and drugs.
"My administrative assistants and I were enjoying some of our food the other day when it hit us," FDA Commissioner Michael Friedman said. "We have tons of food lying around, and tons of drugs, but nothing to drink, smoke or shoot. Then, someone--I think it was [deputy commissioner] Phil [Royce]--suggested we call up those guys at the ATF across town and see what we could get. Turns out, they were ready to deal."
Said ATF Director John Magaw, "You work up a powerful hunger dealing with all this alcohol and tobacco. So when Michael told me he had some food and drugs to offer, I told him to come over and help himself to whatever he liked, even the firearms."
In the deal, the FDA received 345,000 bottles of Jack Daniel's, a quarter-million cartons of Merit Ultra Lights and 27,000 guns, including 4,300 Smith & Wesson .38 snub-nosed revolvers, 2,500 Glock 9mm pistols, and 1,850 Colt Anaconda .44 Magnums.
In return, ATF officials were permitted to pick anything they liked from the federal fridge and national drug stash. They took 190,000 packs of Oscar Mayer hot dogs, 25,500 pints of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream, 7,200 bags of Cheetos, a half-ton of marijuana, and 300,000 kilos of pure, uncut Colombian cocaine.
Insiders report that the exchange, performed late last night at ATF headquarters, was "completely satisfactory to both sides."
"I like a beer now and then, but I'm not much of a smoker," FDA inspector Ed Walls said. "I'm more of a food-and-drugs type of guy. But after I picked out a Coors Light Party Pak, I started poking around and wound up going home with a bunch of automatic rifles and this cool grenade launcher."
"This is a great day for both agencies," ATF Assistant Director Wilbur Karros said. "I can't deny that some friction has always existed between us, usually on issues of jurisdiction--who gets what contraband, is a bottle of absinthe considered alcohol or drugs--things like that. But now that we've gotten together, everyone can get all the stuff they want."
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:^)
As soon as I read the words "housing project" I was able to make the easy jump to "third generation welfare scumbags"
bump to read later
Am I the only one who thought this was going to be an update on the O. J. Simpson case?
In all seriousness, the piece of sh-t "cheerleader" who did this was one of many project-dwelling losers who see other people living happy, prosperous lives and kill/maim/rob more out of jealousy than anything else.
You guys would enjoy my tagline.
On first reading I thought so too.
lol!
More like a norman rockwell trait.
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