Posted on 11/04/2017 2:28:17 AM PDT by Kaslin
"I think it's important for victims to come forward. I also think it's important to remember that Duke Lacrosse and UVA happened." -- Matt Walsh
Since the Harvey Weinstein case broke into the news, we’ve been deluged with stories about women who were sexually harassed, raped or molested in Hollywood and elsewhere.
This is not a bad thing. Let me repeat that: this is not a bad thing.
Exposing abuse to sunlight is the best way to stop it. Moreover, if we didn’t have a prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment, I’d be okay with rapists being impaled on a sharp stick. Using a position of power to pressure a woman into sex or more creepily, into watching you do vile things to a potted plant is gross and criminal.
That being said, a lot of men are leery of the glut of accusations going on right now. This is something a lot of men think, but don’t want to say because they’re afraid they’ll catch flak over it. However, if you are a man, there are things that catch your attention about this wave of sexual harassment complaints that the opposite gender may not initially think about…
1) We keep defining sexual harassment down: If a boss tells you to sleep with him or alternately to watch him shower (ugh….creepy) to keep a job, we can all agree that’s sexual harassment. The further we get from that kind of standard, the less we’re going to agree. Telling a crude joke, having a swimsuit calendar on the wall or a man putting his hand on your shoulder might legally qualify as environmental sexual harassment, but it’s all bullsh*t. Many women may think they deserve money because of those things, but a lot of men think if they can’t handle that, then they’re too delicate for the work force. We’ve even gotten to the point where a 93 year old man in a wheelchair with Parkinson’s pinching a woman’s butt and telling a dirty joke is considered traumatizing sexual harassment. It’s a joke, but it’s not funny.
2) Sexual harassment is often dependent on the feelings the woman involved has about the man doing it: How can we have a “crime” where the standards vary based on how attracted the “victim” is to the “perpetrator?” Asking a woman out a second time after she turns you down if she likes you? Persistent. If she doesn’t? Creepy harassment. If a woman catches you staring at her and she finds you attractive? He’s into me. Awesome! If she doesn’t like you? Creepy harassment. Telling an edgy joke if she likes you? He’s so funny! If she doesn’t? Creepy harassment. What constitutes sexual harassment can feel like an iffy, ever-changing standard to men.
3) Men have to be the pursuers: This may come as a shock to the unfamiliar-with-human-mating-rituals, sign-a-permission-slip-for-every-step-of-the-make-out-session liberals who control college campuses, but men and women do not fill the same roles.
Women tend to sit back and give ambiguous signals about whether they’re interested or not. Men have to interpret those vague signals, flirt back and decide whether or not to make a move. As they become experienced with women, they get hip to the game, become better at interpreting these signals and get a better idea of when to be subtle and when to be overt. When they are young and inexperienced, it’s not so easy. Keep in mind that we live in a world where more than a few men are so clueless about how to talk to women that they think sending a picture of their crotch to a woman they barely know will somehow lead to sex (PS: Guys, don’t ever, ever do this). How many “sexual harassment” complaints are just inexperienced guys making childish, awkward attempts to get a woman to like him?
4) Many women do lie about rape and sexual harassment: Men understand that women are afraid they won’t be believed if they say they were raped. This is a real problem. Unfortunately, it’s a problem that’s caused by the many women who lie about being raped. There are prominent examples (Tawana Brawley, the Jackie Coakley Rolling Stone case and the Duke Lacrosse case), lots of male students who’ve been punished for rapes that didn’t happen in Title IX kangaroo courts, and damning statistics that in some cases show as many as 40% of rape claims are false.
When people say, “Women don’t lie about rape,” they are very, very wrong and when you realize as a man that you could be the potential target of a lie like that one day, it gives you pause. That same woman who’s laughing along with a joke, happily having sex or flirting shamelessly with you today may be crying her eyes out, claiming to be traumatized and accusing you of doing something very wrong tomorrow in hopes of getting a sexual harassment settlement in court. Keep in mind that as I write this, Scottie Hughes is currently suing Fox and claiming she was “raped” by Charles Payne despite the fact that she admits that they had a two year long affair afterwards. If you are a man, all this makes you a little nervous because there is no foolproof defense other than avoiding women as much as humanly possible.
5) The latest round of complaints about sexual harassment are shot through with man-hating: There are lots of normals who have been sexually harassed and have talked about it lately, most prominently on the #metoo hashtag on twitter. That’s a good thing.
What’s not a good thing is the man-hating that has gone along with it. There are an almost infinite number of examples I could give of it, but the sad comments of neutered, liberal half-men, saying what they think liberal women want to hear on the #HowIWillChange hashtag do the best job explaining what’s wrong with this mentality. The #HowIWillChange hashtag was a response to the #metoo hashtag. The comments were a combination of men “bravely” condemning the sexual assault and rape everyone already opposes, self-hatred and liberal feminist ideology. This is what men are being told they have to embrace to be free of the stigma of sexual harassment and “rape culture.”
Men, #HowIWillChange means acknowledging all men are potential rapists. The ones that aren't have gotten rid of their toxic masculinity.
I'm late to this but #HowIWillChange is by recognising when I'm mansplaining & just listen to women speak uninterrupted.
By calling objects ‘she’ (boats, cars, bikes) men are indirectly objectifying women #HowIWillChange 4/n
Should all men change to create a safe environment for women? We're talking #HowIWillChange on @AJStream in 5 mins
#HowIWillChange When I interview for jobs, I will ask how many women executives are in the company, and what the pay gap is.
#HowIWillChange taking responsibility for and unlearning my OWN toxic masculinity and calling out sexism when I see it.
What men should take from #metoo campaign is not that the women in their life need more protection, but that the men need re-education.
My reaction to this is summed up by this tweet.
So it appears #HowIWillChange is a lot of men basically saying they are responsible for assault even if they don’t assault anyone.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Total crap. The Duke case was an obvious fraud very early on to anyone without an agenda. It only existed because the usual suspects on the left pushed it in order to attack their enemies.
Now these same pigs are getting back what they shoved down our throats. Why give them a life line when they’re on the ropes? Bloody foolish.
If I were an employer, I would seriously consider not hiring both men and women. It’d be an either or proposition. I certainly would avoid having them work together. Not worth the trouble. I’m sure a more crafty employer could figure out a way to make it work without appearing unfairly discriminatory.
The man is always guilty. Any time a female accuses a man of something, he is fired and has no recourse. They interview him, not to hear his defense, but to convict him with his words.
Do not attempt to interact with females in the workplace. Treat them like you would a robot. Engaging in pleasant conversation is not going to protect you. All that is needed is for the hysteric to get a idea in her head that you might be interested in you know what, and you’re finished.
Robot.
And who was instrumental in bringing about that state of affairs? Why, the same Hollywood-Media-Academia axis that is taking it in the shorts right now.
Defending these pukes will not do a thing to improve the situation you describe. If you let them off the hook, they will go right back to pushing the same crap.
Once you tear down that axis, everything else becomes easier.
ya and then some women complain that it is so difficult to meet good men after college. I wonder why LOL.
“I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.”
“Do not attempt to interact with females in the workplace. Treat them like you would a robot. Engaging in pleasant conversation is not going to protect you.”
This is EXACTLY my attitude towards women in the workplace. I speak only when spoken to. Too risky otherwise.
I generally side with guys in these things.
However, texting a pic of his crotch DOES qualify as sexual harassment - would be taken as a threatening gesture by most women - and should never be tolerated or excused by thinking/saying:
“How many “sexual harassment” complaints are just inexperienced guys making childish, awkward attempts to get a woman to like him?”
I have, against my better judgment, taken on two women to mentor in my career since that event when pushed by the CFO (my boss) to do so. Fortunately, both of those turned out just fine - one of which I still occasionally hear from for career advice even though she's 1000 miles away now & we're both now in a different industry than at the time.
I’m in my mid 30s and fortunately think I just missed when sending nude pics became “normal” in the dating game (got married at 24). I would *never* send something that would be “permanently” out there so to speak. Who the hell would send such a thing to a co-worker? Mind-boggling.
You realize John Hawkins the author of the op-ed didn’t say that, correct?
Personally I think much of this explains the MGTOW movement.
I agree, mind-boggling to say the least. I’m thinking they might be the generation that was instructed on putting items on cucumbers.
I feel badly for guys, as there are a lot of crazies who would file charges for normal behavior. But there is a line, and a crotch pic goes way beyond ‘picking up on a signal.’
It’s bad when DNA testing clears everyone on the Duke lacrosse team before
any arrests are made, and then arrests are still made (of the richest players on the team) because, well, it’s such a good narrative that it just can’t be allowed to not be true.
The standard for sexual harassment must be kept high, and it must be proved. Rape and assault are one thing, but saying “You look nice today” or “I like that dress” is not harassment—sexual or otherwise. Furthermore, anyone who falsely and intentionally accuses a man or woman of rape, assault, or harassment must be subject to suit for damages and perhaps also incarceration.
At 55, I never thought I'd find myself on the dating scene again and I have to say, what's going on today really gives reasonable people pause to wonder whether or not dating is even worth it. Before I go further I do want to say I'm (unfortunately..) very familiar with how sexual abuse/harassment works due to what my now ex-wife went through. The stats on just how many women have been sexually abused are staggering so it's not a leap by any stretch to look at these claims being made today by the Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and other accusers to believe they're true. Sure, some women will "pile on" for their 15 minutes of fame too at the expense of the real victims however that doesn't diminish the damage people like Weinstein have done to women and Spacey's done to young men.
Having said that, I have a very nice career, I'm a high income earner and I lead a nice life post-divorce. All these articles and accusations have me seriously re-thinking whether or not I want to "risk" that all dating again and trying to find a companion for the rest of my life.
Just the mere accusation these days in this environment is enough to literally destroy someone, whether or not the claim is true. It's sad some women would do that too. It destroys lives, even the lives of the real victims by diminishing what's happened to them.
Thanks for your post, it was spot-on and very thought provoking.
Yup. This is why it is delightfully entertaining watching leftist icons fall as dominos. It couldn’t happen to a more pretentious and preening lot.
I think anyone who falsely accuses someone of rape or assault should be up on the same exact penalties of what the person they falsely accused would be up against on those charges.
Yes.
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