Posted on 07/24/2018 11:14:28 AM PDT by servo1969
I love women. Not in the social justice warrioresque "We must praise women as strong, capable CEOS and STEM graduates who can do anything men can do, but in heels" way, but in an old-school way. It's easy to respect a mother who watches out for her children, a wife who is loyal to her husband, or a sister who cares for her brother. I love a beautiful woman. I love a sexy woman. I love a woman who gives off that amazing feminine energy. As a man, being around a woman like that is just good for your spirit.
All that being said, this is not about the more wonderful traits of women. To the contrary, it's the kind of warning about women that fathers used to give their sons, but that's frowned upon today. You see, in our society we can hammer home the faults of men until they become stereotypes, but we're not supposed to point out the similarly damaging, but often very different flaws of women that young men need to worry about.
I think lions are extraordinarily beautiful and powerful creatures, but I also know if you make a wrong move around one, you can lose an arm. Women are much the same. They are magnificent but dangerous and since men pursue them, they need to understand what they're getting into.
Men don't like to admit this, but the first thing they think about when it comes to women is beauty. Not only are we drawn to it, but it's a status symbol. When a man has an attractive woman, other men think more of him. In fact, it can become such a powerful draw that some men put beauty first and second -- and whatever comes third doesn't matter. This is a mistake if you plan to be with her beyond a date or three because beauty fades for all of us, but it fades faster and harder for women. Moreover, beauty in and of itself only attracts for so long. As the old saying goes, "No matter how good she looks, someone out there is tired of her sh*t." Point being, make sure you judge a woman on a lot more than beauty alone because the time is going to come when one way or the other, that beauty is going to fade in your eyes.
Men tend to be famously ruthless about relationships a few dates in when women fall for them way too early and the men only care about sex. On the other hand, women tend to be much more ruthless than men when a relationship is ending. This is hard for a lot of men to believe because they can't imagine the sweet, uplifting, nurturing woman they were in a relationship with is taking them to the cleaners in divorce court or using their kids as a bargaining chip after the divorce.
Women tend to put the same kind of emphasis on status that men put on beauty. That doesn't mean it's the end all and be all of everything, but it does mean status is a lot more important to women than it is to men. What that means is that as a man, if you ever stop performing at the level your woman is accustomed to, you may lose her regardless of everything else. Lose your job, get demoted, take a big pay cut, lose your moxie somehow and women are much more likely to walk away than a man would be with a woman in the same situation. That doesn't mean it's a given, but it does mean that going backward in status as a man risks your relationship with a woman.
There are exceptions to every rule, but the most stable woman is as emotional as an unstable guy. Women are more emotional, more hormonal than men. Women are, at best, more tolerant of drama than men and at worst, they seek it out. They will become upset for no good reason, act irrationally, and are more prone to things like anxiety than men. The point of this is not "women are unstable and bad," it's that women are very different in this area and you need to be ready to deal with it. At times there's going to be crying, no matter what you do. At times, your girlfriend / lover / wife is going to become angry at you even though you've done nothing wrong. Wise men learn that there are times to ignore things women say rather than get in a fight because ten minutes later, their mood will improve. To men who aren't used to it, all of this can be freaky, but it can also help keep things fresh and exciting once you learn to navigate it.
If your woman is stronger than you, she may still date you. She may love you. She may even marry you one day. However, on a fundamental level, she will not be able to respect you if you are not strong and competent enough to lead her. Women don't want to be the ones who make all the decisions and wear the pants in the family and if you force her to do that, it will wear on her and she will come to resent you. How will that resentment play out? At best, probably unhappiness and at worst, cheating, divorce or contempt that's so bad that you wish you were divorced. I'm not telling you to be a jerk, but I am telling you that if you are not a stronger person than your woman, you will ultimately be sorry.
Well said. Almost 18 years here and I feel exactly the same way.
Aw, you’re a nice man!
As a woman...I don’t know how men put up with us.”
Because you put up with us.
Yes. Men can get wired up over things that I don't even react to, when driving.
Here's a hint which worked well for me-- after repeated failures of the traditional dating "meat market", I finally asked out a rather plain looking woman who I thought might be okay because little children loved her because she was kind, generous and paid them lots of attention. Eventually, she asked me to marry her. I would have eventually got around to it, but she had a biological clock ticking and knew she wanted children of our own.
“A side note about looks, women aren’t the only ones whose looks fade with time.”
I was watching TMZ a few years ago and that surfer dude guy was still on there, I can’t remember his name. He made a comment about not liking sex with older women because they have old skin and need lube. I wanted to scream at the tv. Evidently he isn’t familiar with the fact that men age, too.
She doesn’t have to be ugly, just plain looking. See my post #65.
powerful or popular men tend to only choose the most facially, figure-perfectly beautiful women
You seen the decline in marriage rates? But lots of patience, and some bacon/beer/bourbon, has helped get me to 12 years of marriage (and going).
1. Beauty fades- my wife may have a few more wrinkles but every morning I wake up I thank God that I am married to such a beautiful woman. In my eyes she gets more beautiful every day.
2. After your relationship ends, you may be surprised at the ruthless treatment you get-I don’t doubt this so I never want to test it.
3. Women are much more status-oriented than men- Fortunately my wife cares more about my character and my status with God than my status with the world.
4. Women are not as stable as men- In the short term my wife can be more emotional than me but in the long term she is more stable than I am. On most issues we tend to balance out each other. That is probably one of the ways God makes us one.
5. Women may come to hate you for your weakness- It took me about the first decade of marriage to realize that my wife didn’t want to be responsible for the final decisions. She definitely wanted to be consulted and would never let me hear the end of it if I took an action she consulted against but at the end of the day she would rather I take the responsibility for the final actions. I believe God created us that way.
Best answer! :-D That having been said, I was a writer in my dear dim youth and I had to write a story once from the point of view of a sailor on a warship in WWII. I had to put myself in masculine shoes, so to speak, and it was while writing that that I understood why some of the men in my life could get so exasperated with me! LOL! But you’re right...both sides have their moments.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
Don’t lie to your wife.
voice of experience
By no means is this entirely true, but it has a ring to it. The attributes that are often considered attractive in a man -- ruggedness, a scar or two, etc., tend to come with age, whereas women hit their peak of physical attractiveness much earlier.
There comes a time of course when it evens out and everybody looks lime cral.
As a man. I can say the same about us it has to be a 2 way street.
Reminds me of the story of the couple who couldn’t conceive, whose priest promised to light a candle for them, at the Vatican, as he was leaving for Rome on sabbatical. When he returned to visit them, after seven years, he was met at their door by a harried looking woman, holding a newborn in one arm, and a one year old in the other, with a two year old and three year old, screaming and clinging to both her legs, while a six year old was trying to set fire to the five year old, who was working assiduously, to cut off the hair of the four year old. When asked the whereabouts of her good husband, the woman snapped at the priest, “He’s gone to Rome, Father, to blow out that damned candle!
Re: “Cooking ability lasts a lifetime.”
So does canned food.
And I knew I was getting old when Mrs. Howell started looking good.
Take a good look at your perspective wife’s mother. Pay close attention to the condition of her teeth. I know that sounds like horse training, but it’s a fairly accurate picture of what’s to come in your later years.
Is her mother trim? Is her mother obese? Does the mother have thousands of dollars of dental work behind her? does the mother nag the father incessantly? is the father a lazy bum? is the father industrious and still get nagged?
These are important factors, my daddy told me so.
“If it’s got boobs or wheels, rent it. It will only give you problems.”
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