Ann's got thunderthighs in the crosshairs.
Posted on 06/14/2003 4:17:16 AM PDT by DocFarmer
"Hellary Lies Again? Ho-Hum..."
Posted by Doc Farmer Saturday, June 14, 2003
For the past week or so, we've all been inundated by the MAJOR NEWS EVENT that is Hellary Clinton's new book ''Living History.'' Yes, the tentacles of this monster news story have stretched to the farthest reaches of the globe. From New York City to Pango-Pango to Doha to a primitive mud-hut in Newark, New Jersey, you just can't get away from her. No matter how hard you try.
And you can't get away from the many opinions about her new book. Including here. So sit back, relax, and hold your nose for yet another commentary on this book.
That said, of course, I haven't read it.
Nor do I plan to. I've got better things to do with my time and money than spend them on a book filled with lies, half-truths, prevarications, omissions and errors. Now, the more critical of you will say, '''How can you comment on a book that you've not even read, nor have any intention of reading?'''
Simple. I consider the source. Hellary. A woman whose relationship with truth is about as real as her relationship with her husband.
She's already been shown by other commentators to be ''less than accurate'' regarding her comments on being ''surprised'' that Slick Willie had lied to her. C'mon, lady, he's been plowing about every other south-forty but YOURS for decades now. Even you can't be that stupid.
Well, there was that health-care plan you tried to tout in '93, but I view that as less stupid and more calculating.
If I could speak with her, I would say:
''Listen, Hellary (may I call you Hell? It's shorter and, for you, far more descriptive...) the world knows your husband is a serial liar. We know that you are as well. So don't sit there with Baba Wawa and act shocked as she pitches softballs to you. Don't expect the country to swallow that, kiddo. And by the way, you should know that only one-third of the country, in a recent Gallup poll, thinks that you are telling the truth in your book.
''Which makes me wonder just how stupid almost 100,000,000 Americans could actually be.
''And Hellary, from what I've read so far, you actually got a bit of, shall we say, assistance in the writing of your tome. I must admit some technical curiosity, though. Just how many exorcists did it take to get all of those ghostwriters out of Chappaqua once the final galleys went to press? I believe that there were four of them, if the Vast-Right-Wing-Conspiracy reports are correct. And they normally are. As opposed to the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy, whose reports are usually wrong. You know about the Vast LEFT Wing Conspiracy, don't you? They're the ones who have been plugging this book for free. The ones so upset that they're no longer the only kids on the block. ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, etc.
''The excerpts that have surfaced (like so much effluence) aren't exactly ringing endorsements of yourcharacter. No matter how much she might try to sell it, you'd have to be quite dendritically deficient to accept the ''fact'' that this political barracuda could be naïve about, well, anything. And I'd like to know about the stuff that apparently hasn't been mentioned in your book, Hellary. What really happened to those FBI files, and your involvement in several other White House ''gates'' (Travel-gate, Cattle-gate, etc). Why you were so concerned about contacting your political pals after Vince Foster's ''assisted'' suicide, but didn't bother to call his wife. Your various and sundry ''mattress mambo'' partners who weren't named Bill. Your FJB commentary, which ranks (literally) right up there with one of you're fellow senators N-word utterances. Your involvement in a vote-buying scheme that helped get you elected (remember the pardon of some specific home-grown terrorists in a sensitive district in NYC?).''
I'm sure that the folks at Simon and Schuster are quite pleased (see also: relieved) that the book is selling so well right now. Well, they're in business to make money, and after they deduct the megabucks they dolled out to Hellary two and a half years ago, they might almost break even on this one. They hope. But I have to wonder how long she'll stay at the top of the heap. I'm no math whiz, but I'm guessing that S&S will have to sell about half of that first printing (in other words, 500,000 copies) just to break even. Hellary apparently sold 200,000 in the first week (unless that's also a lie) but after the hype has worn off, the sales might just slump.
By the bye, Ann Coulter (be still, my heart!) has her new book, ''Treason'' coming out on June 24, and I've already ordered my advance copy on Amazon. And since conservative books seem to hang around the higher end of the sales charts for longer than those that list significantly to port, it should be interesting to see the results.
I'm figuring that by mid-July, Hellary will be reeling from the six-pack of political revelations opened up on her by Ann.
Pardon me while I grin.
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Doc Farmer is a humorist and freelance writer who resides in Doha, Qatar
(Excerpt) Read more at chronwatch.com ...
LOL - Nominate this as QUOTE OF THE YEAR!!
Right on Doc....
Ann's got thunderthighs in the crosshairs.
Have a great weekend!......
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