The Perils of Peekaboo America's teen peep show: Has 'slutware' gone too far?

SF Chronicle ^ | Sunday, July 27, 2003 | J.A. Getzlaff

[presidio9]

On a bustling Saturday afternoon a silent, generational war started at Abercrombie & Fitch, the teen retail clothing store in the San Francisco Shopping Centre, an urban mall at Market and Fifth streets.

A girl of maybe 15, wearing braces and hip-hugger jeans, fingered a shrunken, see-through T-shirt that coyly advertised "Hottie Brand Cocoa." Her mother, noting her daughter's interest, eyeballed the stack of shirts and grimaced. She moved purposefully on, but her daughter lingered, hope in her eyes. After a minute, she gave up.

[philosofy123]

"with a focus to keep them away or separate from the evil out there."

That is right. Keeping them separate from this corrupted culture. It is a task, and if you send them to public school, your task become almost impossible.

[fml]

--Keeping them separate from this corrupted culture. It is a task, and if you send them to public school, your task become almost impossible. --


Thats silly. You just have to have a stronger hold on them than the system.

[BMiles2112]

I think you're right, and I hope so, too. For this reason, and because we love it, my wife and I spend as much time as possible with our only daughter(so far). It scares the hell outta me that she keeps getting older. It wasn't that long ago that I was in grade school, and I know what boys are like.

[petitfour]

When I was having our fourth child, the admitting nurse for the hospital gave me a questionnaire which asked whether I had ever had any tatoos. I asked her why that would matter. She said that some tatoo places use the same ink over and over again. When they tatoo an HIV+ (or other disease) person, and then tatoo you using the same ink, then somehow you might contract HIV, too. I have never researched whether this is true or not. I just answered the questions.

[Darksheare]

It is possible, and there are some reported cases.
One particular person in my area, a man, got hepatitis C from contaminated tattoo equipment and inks.
(Some shops charge you extra for using a clean needle and fresh ink.)

[petitfour]

We do the LandsEnd and other catalog purchasing, too. It's expensive, but we can rarely find decent everyday clothes for the girls at department stores. If you don't have a Upromise account, you might want to sign up. Every time we purchase online at LandsEnd, LLBean, etc., we get a portion of the $$$$ towards college for our children.

[Britton J Wingfield]

Tatoos,...used to be the territory of the lowlife

Dang lowlife sailors.

[mrfixit514]

However, there's this new invention called "civilization" which is supposed to help us move away from "natural" behavior and toward moral, responsible behavior

That reminds me of several passages in Ortega y Gasett's The Revolt of the Masses

You must be well-read.

[SLB]

Another idea that is taking this trend along is the pretty baby contests I see at local fairs. My gosh, they have 6 month old kids dolled up with makeup and the whole nine yards. Then the parents wonder why they have sluts for teenagers. I have four daughters, three still at home, they know the standard. They try to press the issue every once in awhile, but as long as dad buys the clothes . . . . .

[cruiserman]

I have a four year old daughter too - does anyone know if there's some sort of "Little Women" ready-to-wear catalog we can order from?

Try Lands' End.

[Moose4]

Three words: Jon-Benet Ramsey.

"Pretty baby" contests squick the heck out of me. Teen beauty pageants (or whatever they call them) are one thing, but 5-year-olds learning to pout seductively at judges? Nuh-uh.

}:-)4

[Britton J Wingfield]

I recently got the Breen cartoon of the bald eagle sharpening its talons with a file. Still needs the flag backdrop, though.

[MEGoody]

The real problem is that there aren't many parents any more. Any parent who lets their daughter walk around dressed like a slut is basically giving her permission to act like a slut.

[tom h]

"Keeping [your children] separate from this corrupted culture ... if you send them to public school, your task becomes almost impossible."

I agree with you in general (my children are in a Christian school, and the problem is lessened but still evident) but kids can survive public school. Your influence has to be stronger than the school's. Throwing away the TV is easy and that alone leads to far more family time. When dinner is over at 7:00 go on walks or play games or read together or play foosball in the garage.

Case in point. We all know the stereotype of pastor's children being the wildest. We just brought in a new pastor at our church in So Cal and he has twin teenage boys age 16. The pastor is great but I was really wondering about the boys because they moved onto our street and the boys are basically handsome all-American boys.

After being in town for a few months our pastor and his wife asked the boys why they weren't bringing home any friends. The boys replied that they didn't have many. Dad asked politely "isn't it time to make some?" The boys, who attend the local public high school (pretty affluent) said "Dad, we're pretty selective." Dad encourages them to just make any friends so they're not lonely. Boys reply that "We're being selective so we don't get in with any bad crowds." Dad stopped talking and thanked them for their discretion.

It can be done. But you need to be connected with your kids. I take my 10-year old daughter out shopping for clothing and she loves it. I brush her hair in the morning and on weekends when I have time and she spills out her guts to me about things that most daughters won't talk to Dad about. I take her bowling every month or so. We have lots of time making bonds.

I take my 8-year old son away for a long weekend once a year. We call it our "baseball weekend" where we visit some new city and a new ballpark. We pal around from Thursday evening until Sunday and he largely sets the agenda -- he likes having the control. [We're going to Seattle in mid-August.] Every week if time permits I take him to Chili's and we sit at the bar and have lunch watching sports -- this is a very big deal. We ride bikes in the evenings and on weekends -- to the beach or library or somewhere he can be proud of. He's a pretty passive kid so I have introduced the things into his life that were important in mine and we talk about them. I try and be large in his life.

God willing, I might be doing the right thing. I empathize with your challenges. But winning the battle against moral corruption can be done. God bless.

[MEGoody]

"How do you fight the constant campaign of TV commercials?"

Turn off the TV.

[tom h]

Throw away the TV works even better.

[mrfixit514]

I remember 20 years ago I bought an Iron Maiden Number of the Beast T-Shirt. My dad saw it and told me to take it back. When I said no, he told me I could either take it back and get my money back or he would be using it to wash his car.

Parents need to be tough and quit trying to be "cool".

[MEGoody]

"Throw away the TV works even better."

Yep, but then how would I ever get to watch Fox News?

[Britton J Wingfield]

(Some shops charge you extra for using a clean needle and fresh ink.) Those aren't shops, those are jail cells.

[Darksheare]

Negative, there's one right around the corner form me in nearby Middletown NY that does just that.
They do indeed charge you for using a clean needle and fresh ink.
Thankfully, the few that patronize them are their usual customers and not naive kids.