Posted on 04/14/2005 5:56:15 PM PDT by TheStickman
Good Evening,
I need to know that Satan has not some how wormed his way into the annulment process my wife and I find ourselves in. I trust in God's Will and Mercy. I truly believe God wants my wife and I to be brought into the Church. However, the more I read about and experience the annulment process the more I begin to worry Satan's hands are wrist-deep in the whole process. The fact I can ask for and receive forgiveness thru the Sacrament of Confession for ANYTHING--except the horrible sin of a failed marriage seems to me to be disordered logic also. A couple of admissions upfront. I know the Church isn't going to change the procedures just because I'm frustrated and ignorant of the process. I also know I've seen the Truth of Christ's Presence in the Eucharist and there is no way I can ever turn away and act like I don't know what I now know. I am 100% certain I am missing something here but for the life of me can't figure out what it is. However, if I die before the annulment process is finished or if the annulments are denied--Satan wins and I experience the eternal abscence of God. Some have told me this won't happen, that I would go to Purgatory and then to Heaven. But--how can that happen if I die living in mortal sin as I am thru the state of my current (wonderfully happy) marriage? Again, I submit there's disorder in the logic or, admittedly in my understand of things. I'm loooking for answers here. Whether I'm patient or not has no bearing on the question of Satan's possible involvement in the annulment process. There is no ministry at the parish to teach and guide folks in these situations and I feel like we're just flailing away on our own. We are thankful some wonderful people have been praying for us in this matter. I would greatly appreciate an answer(s) to this because it's more than a little disconcerting to feel like the very Church I know Christ founded is at times proceeding (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way) in a fashion that's been somehow disordered by Satan.
May the Peace of Our Lord be With You All!
I regret you've taken the opportunity of my request for assitance in understanding this issue to express your anti-Catholic view.
Let's assume for a moment that the devil is at work. Jesus has told us something about dealing with him: prayer and fasting, and the saints teach that humility is a shield against him.
I was just reading an excerpt from Blessed Teresa of Calcutta; it must've been for you: "I must not attempt to control God's actions; I must not count the stages of the journey he would have me make. I must not desire a clear perception of my advance along the road, nor know precisely where I am on the way of holiness. I ask him to make a siant of me, yet I must leave to him the choice of the means which lead to it..."
Offer sacrifices to God and be patient, submit to the will of God whatever it might be. That is the way of the Cross.
It's interesting that you would accept Hell for your current state of "bliss," though... that can't be a healthy place to be.
[i]It's interesting that you would accept Hell for your current state of "bliss," though... that can't be a healthy place to be.[/i]
Hmmm...if I was willing to go to Hell there wouldn't be much point in trying to join the Church or go thru the annulment process, would their?
The excerpt from Teresa is certainly beautiful. However, it doesn't actually answer my questions.
However, if I die before the annulment process is finished or if the annulments are denied--Satan wins and I experience the eternal abscence of God.
But do you mean that you are engaging in unlawful (that is, sinful) relations with your wife, and so cannot receive the Sacrament? I don't understand why your parish priest wouldn't have informed you of the necessity of living as brother and sister until a judgment in your case, as to whether Decrees of Nullity should be issued. St. Leonard, of Port Maurice:
What is the use of knowing whether few or many are saved? Saint Peter says to us, "Strive by good works to make your election sure." When Saint Thomas Aquinas's sister asked him what she must do to go to heaven, he said, "You will be saved if you want to be." I say the same thing to you, and here is proof of my declaration. No one is damned unless he commits mortal sin: that is of faith. And no one commits mortal sin unless he wants to: that is an undeniable theological proposition. Therefore, no one goes to hell unless he wants to; the consequence is obvious. Does that not suffice to comfort you?Weep over past sins, make a good confession, sin no more in the future, and you will all be saved. Why torment yourself so? For it is certain that you have to commit mortal sin to go to hell, and that to commit mortal sin you must want to, and that consequently no one goes to hell unless he wants to. That is not just an opinion, it is an undeniable and very comforting truth; may God give you to understand it, and may He bless you. Amen.
ping
No, I don't. I mean that we are not allowed to come into the Church at all until the annulments are granted. If my wife and I never become One Flesh again in our lives we are still in mortal sin for things we did individually before we ever met and a couple of things after we became married.
And no one commits mortal sin unless he wants to: that is an undeniable theological proposition.
Had I been born, baptized and raised in the teachings of the Catholic Church I would agree with you 100%. But I wasn't. It's only been just over a year since I attended my very 1st Mass.
Something that should perhaps be clarified- TheStickman is not (as yet) Catholic. He is (trying to) converting. However, he can't do that without the annulment. So it isn't (just)a question of his living chastely. He could do that for the rest of his life and never be able to make Confession and be Confirmed into the Church.
O MY God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.
The CCC says:
1451 Among the penitent's acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is "sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again."501452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called "perfect" (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.51
1453 The contrition called "imperfect" (or "attrition") is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin's ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52
1454 The reception of this sacrament ought to be prepared for by an examination of conscience made in the light of the Word of God. The passages best suited to this can be found in the Ten Commandments, the moral catechesis of the Gospels and the apostolic Letters, such as the Sermon on the Mount and the apostolic teachings.53
Remember that mortal sin requires three things: objectively grave matter (or an offense to God in a matter you believe to be grave), full knowledge, and full freedom.
I would doubt that the knowledge and freedom were truly there at the time you committed those acts.
Even if they were, perfect contrition -- sorrow for sin which arises from the love of God, not just from fear of punishment -- suffices for forgiveness.
Padre Pio said: "Pray, hope, and don't worry." When these fretful thoughts come to you, pray a rosary, read a psalm. God loves you both very much. He will find a way.
I would make such an act ASAP if I were permitted to do so. I've longed to make my 1st Confession since the day I finally understood it to be a Sign by which I can be forgiven and receive Grace. However, until the annulments are granted, I cannot partake of the Sacraments. I'm going to guess our pastor didn't tell us of this because we are not yet Catholic.
"The fact I can ask for and receive forgiveness thru the Sacrament of Confession for ANYTHING--except the horrible sin of a failed marriage seems to me to be disordered logic also."
It is disordered logic, yes. Fortunately, that's not what the Church teaches.
(1) a failed marriage is not in itself a sin; and (2) there is nothing that cannot be forgiven (except that speaking against the Holy Spirit thing, and I don't understand that).
To be absolved, however, you must resolve not to continue in the sin in question (Ideo firmiter propono, adiuvante gratia Tua, de cetero me non peccaturum
peccandique occasiones proximas fugiturum.).
A priest can hardly absolve a person of a sin if the person expresses the intent to continue in that sin.
It may be a hard teaching, but it's not something the mean old Church just made up to keep people from having fun. Our Lord Jesus Christ himself said (Lk:16:18: 18) "Every one that putteth away his wife and marrieth another committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."
A marriage can be annulled -- that is, judged never to have happened -- for several reasons. In such a case, the people in question were never married in God's eyes and so are free now to marry.
However, if a person's marriage doesn't meet the criteria for annulment, then that person is not free to marry. As I said, it's a hard teaching.
You can still be truly contrite for your sins, even if you are unable to receive the Sacrament, so long as you desire it. Ask your pastor - I can't imagine he'll disagree.
If they decide against you, you may still have recourse to appeal to the Rota (although I think that is more typically done by a party fighting an annulment).
May I ask in which diocese you are?
I will continue to pray for you. Do not give up hope.
"I'm going to guess our pastor didn't tell us of this because we are not yet Catholic."
Anyone can make an act contrition, any time. If you wish to say those things to God, you don't have to wait.
Besides, the fact that you don't have the admin stuff done yet doesn't justify your pastor withholding any knowledge from you. There ain't nothin' that's secret, "just us Catholics" knowledge.
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