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How To Be a Man That Women Respect
Chabad ^ | 1 November 2017 | Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

Posted on 11/01/2017 9:15:28 AM PDT by Jewbacca

Man Versus Beast

There’s really only one thing a man needs to do to gain a woman’s respect. He needs to be a man.

The good news is that women want a man. The even better news is that there aren’t many to go around—which means that if you can be one, you‘re at the head of the pack.

What is a man?

A man is a multi-storied, burning furnace with a cooling system on the roof. A two legged, upright, impulsive, passion-driven beast with a brain that keeps him in check.

If there’s no beast—well, why would a woman want one of those?

If the brain on top is not doing its job—then what is there to respect?

Which means that being a man is mostly about not being the animal you feel you are.

Men, you get that. Women—I know it’s hard, but you just have to believe us.

Perhaps a woman can be a woman just by being her natural, human self. Having never been a woman, I can’t really say. But I can tell you that a man is someone who is constantly not being the beast that drives him.

The beast says, “I want! Now!” The man says, “I’ll decide.”

The beast says, “Grab it! It’s yours!”

The man says, “Nothing is mine but my own free will. And with my free will, I choose to ignore you.”

The beast says, “Everything is yours! There is nothing else. Everyone is yours! There is no one else. They are all just objects, there to do your bidding!”

And the man says, “There is the Creator who made me and gives me life. There are the people with whom I live and put their trust in me. There is the woman of my covenant whom I respect and love. They are not me, I am not them. She is not me. I am not her. I am a man, and regardless of all the fury with which you may burn, I will act as a man.”

The Fair Maiden’s Hero

“Who is a hero?” asks Ben Zoma in the ancient Mishnah. “He who conquers his own desires.”

Man is made to conquer. The beast inside a man desires to conquer. But the man cannot conquer a thing until he has first conquered that beast within.

The beast remains a beast, a bull, a horse, a goring ox. The beast may desire, but the man is not a slave of those desires. The man must be the one that tells the beast where it can go and where it cannot, where it can look and where it must not, when it should speak and when it should keep its mouth shut tight.

Indeed, the beast is the father of the man.

For only once a man has turned his back to his own maddening passions, resisted the rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins, ignored the screaming amygdala hijack, and just coldly walked away, only then has he touched that which defines him most deeply, that which separates him from beast and angel, that which makes him most divine.

A woman desires a man.

But if a man does not know what makes him a man, how can she know that he is one?

If a man can’t leave space for another, why would she want to stand in his presence?

If a man can't stand up to the fight, why should she respect and admire him?

Many are the men who have never been there. Many are the men who spend an entire life barely cognizant of the power that enables them to become a man.

Because it is not easy to be a man.

The Guide to Being a Man

To be an athlete, you need a trainer. To be a man, you need a guide.

Many guides have been written by many great sages. If you’re looking for the most potent Jewish classic on being a man, look in a small book called Tanya. It’s also known as “Sefer Shel Beinonim”—meaning “The Book for the Everyman.”

In Tanya, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, a great teacher and disciple of the Baal Shem Tov, teaches us all we need to know about our beast inside. True, the guide is for both men and women. But once you see the advice it contains, it is hard to imagine how anyone could be a man without knowing its teachings well.

To deny the power of the beast over your heart and mind is the height of conceit. To surrender is the height of foolishness. teaches: To deny the power of the beast over your heart and mind is the height of conceit. To surrender is the height of foolishness.

So that life is an ongoing wrestling match. The beast will never throw in the towel. It will grow stronger each day, devising yet more strategies to escape its reins, taking yet more devious gambits to declare victory over you.

Your principal strategy is to ignore its wails and tantrums. But the beast is stronger than the man. To win, you need a fire yet more fierce than the fury of the beast. You must find the divine fire from beyond that breathes secretly in a hidden chamber within your heart.

That is your mission. That is why you were thrown into this ring. So that each day, with that fire, you will bring your beast as an offering upon an altar of divine light.

No wonder a woman admires a real man. The One who made him admires him even more.


TOPICS: Current Events; General Discusssion; Judaism
KEYWORDS: men; weinstein; women
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To: OrangeHoof

“Sadly, as a non-aggressive “nice guy”, I agree with you. Many times I’ve been told I was “too nice”. It wasn’t until I was in my 50s that I understood “too nice” really meant “not bad enough”.”

I am reasonably nice, I think. But I am also well along austism spectrum, which makes me very stoic. I am also very tall and a career military person.

The result is I look mean, without actually being mean.

So I get both worlds.


61 posted on 11/01/2017 12:21:54 PM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem)
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To: Jewbacca

What do women want from a man to respect him... maturity, decisiveness, consistency, and strength.

Amazed how women are drawn to men who are not emasculated and confused.


62 posted on 11/01/2017 12:22:09 PM PDT by PigRigger (Satire is near impossible now. Liberals donÂ’t understand it and for conservatives it is reality.)
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To: Jewbacca

From the DNC

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/11/01/dnc-white-men-shouldnt-apply-for-tech-jobs.html


63 posted on 11/01/2017 12:46:06 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: LiveFreeOrDie2001

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/97642.No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy

Maybe worth a read.


64 posted on 11/01/2017 1:53:46 PM PDT by spankalib
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To: OrangeHoof
Sadly, as a non-aggressive "nice guy", I agree with you. Many times I've been told I was "too nice". It wasn't until I was in my 50s that I understood "too nice" really meant "not bad enough".

It's not so much "nice-versus-bad". You just have to be careful that your niceness doesn't come across as wimpy and weak. Think "Han Solo" versus "Luke Skywalker" in the first Star Wars. Think of leading men in the history of the movie business who made women in the audience swoon. Humphrey Bogart. Clark Gable. Clint Eastwood. They could be jerks, but they came across as the kind of guy you wanted watching your back when the manure hit the fan. The strong Alpha male.

Ignore what women say, and look at the "romance novels" that women actually pay money for. Is the guy the girl swoons over ever that nice guy from accounting?

65 posted on 11/01/2017 1:56:41 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big governent is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: Zathras
Answer: Have lots of $$$

Nope, not the answer. Too many guys with $$$ marry a girl, only to see her divorce-rape him a few years later, walk off with all his $$$, and find out she was screwing some bad-boy biker the whole time she was married to him.

66 posted on 11/01/2017 2:00:12 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big governent is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: Jewbacca

10 Things You Don’t Know About Women: Melora Hardin
http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/interviews/a3314/10things0907/

1. We know men think breasts are like Barstow: just a short stop on the way to Vegas. But sometimes lingering a little longer at the places along the way can make for a more pleasant trip.

2. We’d much rather try on bras than see them on surgically altered, airbrushed supermodels, but we know how much you enjoy the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Consider it a gift.

3. It would be nice if just once you admitted you were unequivocally wrong and we were absolutely right, with no conditions attached.

4. We prefer a man who’s going to make $50 million to one who already has it. Women take potential over security every time.

5. A man’s hands and his taste in shoes tell women all we need to know. Make sure neither looks too much like ours.

6. When we tell you the new dress we bought was 50 percent off, you can just go ahead and mark it up about 30 percent.

7. Women take longer in the bathroom because, unlike men, we clean up after ourselves.

8. Even Harrison Ford isn’t cool with an earring.

9. We know it’s fun for you to come up behind us while we’re washing dishes and grab our breasts. Why not make it fun for us, too, and grab a dish while you’re at it?

10. Male sperm are faster getting to the egg but die sooner; female sperm are slower getting to the egg but live longer. See? It all starts at conception.

Melora Hardin begins her fourth season on NBC’s The Office in September and can be seen in The Comebacks, in theaters October 26.


67 posted on 11/01/2017 2:58:30 PM PDT by minnesota_bound
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To: SkyDancer

Literally lol....good one!


68 posted on 11/01/2017 3:01:25 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$
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To: rlmorel

+2.


69 posted on 11/01/2017 3:03:07 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$
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To: MplsSteve
Alpha sex, Beta ¢he¢k$ (PG-13 version)
70 posted on 11/01/2017 3:59:24 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Jewbacca
"You wish to be only a spectator, the gentleman in the balcony who wipes the glasses of his lorgnette in order to lose none of the comedy. Well, you can not do so. That role is not permitted a man. He must act, and he acts always, even when he thinks he is looking on, even when he washes his hands as Pontius Pilate, that dilettante, too, who uttered the words of your masters and of yourself. What is truth? Truth is that there is always a duty to fulfill." 

-Andre Cornelis (1886) by Paul Bourget
71 posted on 11/01/2017 6:08:08 PM PDT by NRx (A man of integrity passes his father's civilization to his son, without selling it off to strangers.)
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To: Jewbacca

An angry teenaged boy once declared to me, “I can’t wait til I can kick my dad’s ass!”

I said, “The problem with that is by the time you’re man enough to do it you’ll be too much of a man to do it.”

I saw the wheels turn before he grumbled, “Yeah.”


72 posted on 11/01/2017 6:32:21 PM PDT by Entropy Squared (The Rush to Chaos)
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To: Snickering Hound

Philippians 3:2-14King James Version (KJV)

2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.

She maybe someone that could entertain your vain imagination....as a dog.


73 posted on 11/01/2017 8:11:20 PM PDT by Puckster (70 weeks of Daniel)
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To: spankalib

Oh, I thought you were talking about the phrase, lol!

May have to check that out, thank you!!


74 posted on 11/02/2017 3:43:37 AM PDT by LiveFreeOrDie2001 ( Thank GOD Hillary didn't get elected!)
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To: Jewbacca

75 posted on 11/02/2017 3:32:11 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: Snickering Hound

Nice car!


76 posted on 11/02/2017 3:33:45 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: LiveFreeOrDie2001

Did you ever think that you might be seeking the wrong kind of woman? Take a few minutes and make a list of what you really believe in important to you in a woman. Then think back about your previous choices and how they measure up to your list.

Consider the time you have left on this wonderful world. Do something different.

Best wishes, dear. I know how it is and I sympathize.


77 posted on 11/02/2017 3:38:54 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: SkyDancer

A gay Jewish man calls his mother. “Mother, I have good news and I have bad news.”

“I’m gay and I’m marrying my boyfriend.”

“Oy, vey!” she says, “What’s the good news?”

“He’s a doctor.”


78 posted on 11/02/2017 10:02:17 PM PDT by boatbums (The Law is a storm which wrecks your hopes of self-salvation, but washes you upon the Rock of Ages.)
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To: minnesota_bound
Seen on a b'day card:

    Men are like fine wine. It's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they're mature enough to have dinner with.

79 posted on 11/02/2017 10:08:12 PM PDT by boatbums (The Law is a storm which wrecks your hopes of self-salvation, but washes you upon the Rock of Ages.)
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To: boatbums

LOL!!


80 posted on 11/03/2017 6:33:26 AM PDT by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~)
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